my first poem posted

[indigo sky]

brandy new for your enjoyment...thoughts...feedback

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=78578

it's my first one posted so be gentle

 

[WickedEve]

Nicely written. How long have you been writing poetry?

 

[indigo sky]

Thank you =)

umm...i've been writing...everything since forever.
but i've been writing poetry in my current *style* for about 2 years.


thanks for checking it out!!

 

[daughter]

feedback

indigo,

What kind of feedback do you want?

Peace,

d

 

[indigo sky]

Re: feedback

indigo,

What kind of feedback do you want?

Peace,

d

just your thoughts...your honest reaction..

thanks!

 

[daughter]

honest response

indigo,

I think the poem is okay. Nice sounds and images, but pretty much window dressing.

Some folks don't want critque and they don't want someone discussing mechanics in the same breath when talking about their poem. For me, good writing is appreciating the mechanics as well as the emotions elicited.

I think you have a cool image that could be a stronger read if you employed some poetry device and little care to basic structure.

Your poem says enough for plenty so I hope my minority opinion doesn't hamper the good mood the praise no doubt gave you.

Thanks for the read.

Peace,

daughter

 

[indigo sky]

no...Thank you
the fragile ego is doing just fine
that was very helpful....thanks for being honest!

 

[daughter]

whew

indigo,

good. i wasn't up for a cussin' out. not tonight. *smiles*

peace,

d