My First Plunge (into the art of erotica)

[Guest]

It isn't super erotic, and I know it. I suppose there is only a certain type of person who would be turned on by it, the type of person being one who gets off on a power trip. There are a couple of minor errors, which i suppose don't completely shatter the message but it would be nice if I could go back and edit, lol. Anyway, anyone who is interesting in seeing a submissive's first descent into the world of smut and erotica, check it out. Oh yeah, and I'd really appreciate some responses

subwithnocollar
Dear Master
BDSM -

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=138432


Cheers!

subwithnocollar

 

[minsue]

You can submit an edited version if it really bothers you. I'm not sure how long it takes to get it changed, though, and I think you lose whatever votes you had beforehand.

 

[bbkradwell]

I won't, yet

I won't read it, yet. I'd rather wait for the edited version; especially if I like it. That way, when I vote a 5 for it, it'll stick!

Oh, BTW, do you have a Dom? If not, I would gladly take you under my wing and treat you as you need to be treated! You will find that I can be a very caring, considerate Master. (I even have references. Seriously.)

 

[Guest]

Go ahead and Read it

you may as well go ahead. an edited version might take a while to get posted, and there are only a couple minor typos

 

[bbkradwell]

OK, I'll do it.

I will read your story, if you'd like. It may take a bit, though... I've been away from my desk, here, for a few days and, man, does the mail pile-up when I do that!

Hellllp! I'm drowning in a tidal wave of junkmail!!!
Hellllp, blblubblblubblblub!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I read it. There were some errors and typos, but they weren’t lethal and didn;t interfere with my reading.

It’s a very short and wistful little piece of writing, just a quick description of SWNC’s daydream of what it would be like to be in a 24/7 D/s realtionship. As far as mechanics go, it’s pretty well-written. I’m afraid it won’t satisfy many people who are looking for erotic heat, though. SWNC is more concerned with imagining herself in a relationship than she is in presenting graphic sex. The descriptions of sex are therefore very vague and not very graphic.

As her name suggests, SWNC is a would-be sub. She’s never been in a real-life D/s realtionship. That’s no reason why she can’t give her daydreams more heat though. The piece is also an open invitation for interested Doms, and I think it would be more successful if the sex were hotter. You really don’t have to have experiences something to write about it. In fact, most of the porn we write is about 10% experience and 90% daydream anyhow. I would really like to see her get specific about what her Dom does to her. Why not write a graphic description of a BDSM session and shows us exactly what he does to you and how you react?

The essence of erotic heat lies in painting a clear and detailed picture of what’s going on. Show us what’s in store for us when we get you in the ropes, what a sensuous and sexy little sub you are, and the Dom’s will come running.

---dr.M.

 

[Guest]

Re: OK, I'll do it.

I will read your story, if you'd like. It may take a bit, though... I've been away from my desk, here, for a few days and, man, does the mail pile-up when I do that!

Hellllp! I'm drowning in a tidal wave of junkmail!!!
Hellllp, blblubblblubblblub!

Should i throw a life raft? that gurgling sound didnt sound too great... hello? are you there? (*rubs hands together, secretly hoping she gets to use mouth to mouth resuscitation*) guess im going to have to dive in....



Also, thanks much Dr. Mabeuse - the comments are much appreciated though i knew before posting the story that the erotic side was lacking. i also have another entirely different story on the works, much longer, and still BDSM that i'm writing right now whenever i get a bit of spare time and a gust of inspiration. It is taking priority so perhaps eventually i will get to work on the story requests i've gotten. i've been writing for a while but not erotica so it's a new thing to get used to. i'm glad to be here though, and i will keep your ideas and comments in mind while writing.

 

[bbkradwell]

Hubba, hubba!

Yes, my dear, girl, you did write another one, and it's a 100% improvement, too! Boy, I sure hope we get to meet, someday! All the things I'd like to do to you... I'm getting hard just thinking about 'em!