My First Experiences with a certain Dominant

[Kittehkarlene]

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[Stella_Omega]

a good match, congrats.

 

[Kittehkarlene]

a good match, congrats.

You are too nice! Thank-you! I've always admired you, Stella.

 

[Stella_Omega]

BDSM is not a popularity contest, (something the dude has never learned) and it's not a Hallmark moment. But after all the angry women, and the dumbass women wh have spoken up about the guy, I really love hearing your story. Brings it all around, very entertaining!

 

[Ropebunny]

Thanks for the heads up on sinpain Kittehkarlene. Reading through all the old threads about him has made my evening much more amusing!

Maybe - if we're lucky enough - I'll get to participate in your own 10 pager, a la babygrl11.

 

[DVS]

Hi everybody. Soo, I'm Kitteh. I'm pretty new to this all, in saying "all" I mean, BDSM, D/s, and that type of thing. Excuse my language, I have vulgar vocabulary, and I am pretty surprised by the way I sometimes speak myself, but this post will be about me describing my first time experiences with BDSM. So BDSM from Kitteh's perspective, described in Kitteh's language. While, it isn't much. I've been told that I am pretty fucking entertaining, up there anyway. So. Maybe you'll want to stick around and step into my shoes for a change...

Kitteh, Sinpain might not be the reason you are experiencing what you are, but just the fact that he has challenged your normal tendency to control your life without being rude. Most trolls tend to be impatient and when you don't quickly comply with their "demands", they say you aren't a true submissive and leave.

I'm not saying Sinpain is a troll. I remember when he was more prominent on this forum and he had a few "submissives" who were also defending him. Those same submissives could be the ones who tried to steer you away from him. And while I haven't experienced anything of his "style" (probably because I'm not his type), I have read the threads, just the same.

Sure, he can have a magnetic personality in the beginning, but it doesn't seem to last. But, if you find that he's what you're looking for, you are old enough to know what you like. I hope you also know what you want and what you need. It could be that those other submissives also felt the same way in the early stages of their Sinpain experience. They tried to warn you...to maybe save you from what they experienced after the newness wore off.

Some people get so headstrong in their new submissive experiences that they don't see anything else. I'd suggest you at least calm down enough to take a look at what's going on with a different perspective. Just don't go into this without some thought about what others have tried to tell you. Don't let your lust and desires cloud your judgement. Then, if you are sure Sinpain is what you are looking for, by all means go for it.

 

[Loverskitten]

I love how he always makes the girls write these things. Someone needs their ego stroked. lol!

 

[Kittehkarlene]

I love how he always makes the girls write these things. Someone needs their ego stroked. lol!

I really don't mind! I thought the bout of honesty was nice and you all seem to have the wrong idea of him so.I am offering my own perspective. It's nice to hear your thoughts so don't be shy. I'm not very sociable so think of this as something that is for me as much as it is for him. Think of it as my introduction thread!

 

[Kittehkarlene]

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[KoPilot]

I can satisfy my exhibitionist nature and continue my sexual relationships in real life when I found that previous Doms would restrict me in order to assert their control. So thanks for your concern but I'm cool with him

Yeah, be careful with that. Not everyone in the world is going to be happy seeing your flash their hooch. I'd suggest doing the exhibitionist thing with people who actually consent to being part of your dynamic. Otherwise, yannow... sexual harassment.

 

[midwestyankee]

As with the tiger, the asshole never changes his stripes. (YMMVIFL)

 

[Kittehkarlene]

Yeah, be careful with that. Not everyone in the world is going to be happy seeing your flash their hooch. I'd suggest doing the exhibitionist thing with people who actually consent to being part of your dynamic. Otherwise, yannow... sexual harassment.

Yes. I am quite aware of that, but I'm not standing in the middle of the room, getting completely naked. I just happen to wear no panties, and get off a very high chair. It's an accident, but not an accident. Also. . in . . relation to exhibitionism. I just take photos. I really don't undress in public. I've been at it for a year, and I just post them on websites, such as Lit and 4chan. I am an attention whore. Suppp.

As with the tiger, the asshole never changes his stripes. (YMMVIFL)

I don't think assholes have stripes. Mine certainly does not. Thank-you for your intelligent input though. I will reobserve.

BDSM is not a popularity contest, (something the dude has never learned) and it's not a Hallmark moment. But after all the angry women, and the dumbass women wh have spoken up about the guy, I really love hearing your story. Brings it all around, very entertaining!

I fully agree with you here, it's not a popularity contest, but thank-you! I do love sharing, and it's one of my first experiences, so it is nice to have it written out in a way that I can now refer to. This is just, a positive note, from, an average type of girl, that HOPEFULLY sways everybody's opinions, because from what I've garnered, a majority of perceptions are negative. I'm not forcing you to change what you think of him, just like I said, take into consideration what I have written. I don't believe I'd say anything horrible about anybody if I was angry or scorned. I am not that type of person.

 

[Betticus]

He has a soothing effect, for some reason. Kind of like laxatives.

This topic is now about witty comments on this statement.

 

[Betticus]

Ok.. I think I finally suppressed the urge to say stuff like "the shit's gonna hit the fan" or "We're up shit creek without a paddle", etc..

I don't think I've ever even heard of Sinpain before and know nothing about him so I'll try to keep this about just you.

You stated "My fascination with displaying my vag and boobs to well everybody, stems from about a year ago from now, when nudes of me got out. I figured. Why not have everybody see them?"

Experimental exhibitionism and curiosity about bdsm aside this raises some big red flags. I read your initial post several times and considered it from different perspectives and got more red flags.

I skimmed over some of your pics in that area where people post self shots and while your physical attractiveness is obvious it reinforced those red flags.

I could be completely wrong and this is only my personal opinion.

 

[Kittehkarlene]

Ok.. I think I finally suppressed the urge to say stuff like "the shit's gonna hit the fan" or "We're up shit creek without a paddle", etc..

I don't think I've ever even heard of Sinpain before and know nothing about him so I'll try to keep this about just you.

You stated "My fascination with displaying my vag and boobs to well everybody, stems from about a year ago from now, when nudes of me got out. I figured. Why not have everybody see them?"

Experimental exhibitionism and curiosity about bdsm aside this raises some big red flags. I read your initial post several times and considered it from different perspectives and got more red flags.

I skimmed over some of your pics in that area where people post self shots and while your physical attractiveness is obvious it reinforced those red flags.

I could be completely wrong and this is only my personal opinion.

Let's first establish that I'm not an experimental exhibitionist. I'm an actual exhibitionist (or camwhores, as we usually call them), and while I don't believe doing this type of thing, makes you "famous" (more like, infamous) I'm quite well known, to the point where people can recognise who I am when I'm posting on (other) websites. Like I stated before, I have done this for an entire year, and I'm more than comfortable with showing my face in my pictures. This confuses some people that fear for their privacy. However, I understand the consequences that may come with such a decision, but I have no real qualms with doing what I do. I'll deal with them when they come.

You're allowed to have your personal opinion, but I'm curious to know what these "red flag" perspectives are. Enlighten me. At this stage, I'm mulling over whether or not you think I'm crazy or something. By the way, the laxative comments was a joke. I have a really great sense of humour, if you can't already tell.

 

[Loverskitten]

This topic is now about witty comments on this statement.

If I were kitteh I'd get the runs.... um I mean RUN.

 

[Betticus]

You're allowed to have your personal opinion, but I'm curious to know what these "red flag" perspectives are. Enlighten me. At this stage, I'm mulling over whether or not you think I'm crazy or something. By the way, the laxative comments was a joke. I have a really great sense of humour, if you can't already tell.

Oh man, seriously... that laxative thing... priceless. Your writing style is fun to read.

Establishing some things is probably best. Since I don't get on here very often I can honestly say that I don't know you at all or anything about you that you haven't shared here and this is the first post from you I've ever seen. I'm confident that you know nothing about me as well. I don't identify as a dom either but I can identify as a photographer as a sideline. You being an exhibitionist I have no issues with. If I did that would make me a hypocrite given some of the sets I've shot. For me dominance means self control. I'm pretty sure I'm also an asshole but with a great sense of humour. I might be a touch kinky but maybe it's just that most others are uptight.

You're not interested in me though, just curious about my little red flags. I may not be a Dom or a Real Dom as the labels apply but I do know about control. DVS, he's a Dom. I read his post after I made mine and it looks like he also mentioned something but it could be completely different in his perspective.

My red flags could easily not apply to you at all and I admit that I make mistakes. They could be simply triggering past experiences I've had with other people. I'm not very comfortable making assumptions based on extremely limited information about you in a public forum, that would be rude.

I'll just pm you if you have those enabled and mention the things that seemed off and why they seemed off based on experience with other people and leave it at that.

 

[Kittehkarlene]

So Betticus and I had a lovely chat, and. He is a pretty cool dude, who was just looking out for me. I wanted to share a few things we discussed.

My fascination with exhibitionism originated from a negative place, yes, but I took power and control into my own hands, and now find it to be a very positive experience. This experience isn't related to my newfound interest in BDSM.

However, his concerns for me fell into whether or not my feelings of conflict were "warning signs" that I should take more notice of. (which is really sweet by the way, but I am not experiencing anymore conflict or "red flags" at this stage, because I have taken the time to get to know my Dom.)

I understand that I do sound conflicted in the past, which is why most people are concerned. I want you to further understand that is in the past, and I am in no way conflicted about my present decision to submit.

This process was not just a days worth of decisions; instead this decision has taken an entire month to make, and I believe it is the right decision. That, and I have mulled over it for longer than deems necessary.

Yes, people speak slack about Sinpain, but if I took note of everybody's opinions, I wouldn't be where I am now, and I believe I'd be a little crazy if I believed everything, especially that being from women who were none the happy about the terms of their release. So. I formulated my own opinions based on the many conversations I have had with him, and I am where I am now.

Also. I find it concerning and I hope that most of you believe that I am exploring BDSM because of any asshat issues I have had with men in the past. That isn't the case. I'm really just in this out of curiosity and for the fun.

 

[Betticus]

All of my advice basically came down to making sure that there are no past negative issues that haven't been reconciled and to find a verifiable, well respected and reputable bdsm group in her area where she can learn all about bdsm in a controlled environment.

It's worth it.

 

[Etoile]

I feel like I'm watching The Magnificent Seven after I having seen the Akira Kurosawa version 5 years previously.

 

[Kittehkarlene]

I thought I'd give an update on how everything is going with my Dom. In response to your comment, Betticus'. I don't really recall you asking me to check out the reputable BDSM groups in my area. I'm in Australia, and I don't think it's a huge craze here. Also I would rather not be diving head first into a concept that I am still rather new to.

So I am find myself becoming more reassured in the relationship I have with my Dom with each passing day. Whilst I never believed it would get to this point, I have no real complaints, because I'm enjoying myself and the time I'm spending with him. What I think is even better, is that I find myself learning so much more about who I am as a person, what I like and dislike, and having my thoughts and predispositions challenged with every single session.

He tends to be right most of the time. Admittedly, I'm not always a logical person - more emotionally driven, so my decisions are mostly clouded by emotions, and I tend to be rather biased. I recall us having a few disagreements about people, or general topics, and well. He is usually always right, and invites me to see things from his point of view. This would annoy me at first, but not so much now.

Most of the time, my Dom treats me as a friend, rather than of something he owns. I find it peculiar how we'd start off having a normal conversation about how my day was. Or perhaps I'd be ranting about something that pissed me that day. I tend to rant. I have no idea why. I am a ranter, always have been. Somehow our conversation escalates to a degree where he establishes his position of power, as my Dom, and I find that I can't help but do as I'm told.

The previous Doms I have spoken to saw me as solely as their property. While some other girls are into that, Sinpain was fully aware that I wasn't. See what I mean? He just knows what I like; - the freedom to seemingly just be. He doesn't feel the need to call me "his" slut or I don't know his "bitchface", or establish the fact that I am rightfully "his," because in his eyes, he already knows that I know.

I found it amusing being called degrading name. Doms are creative hey. The Dom I had previously, before Sinpain, would call me his "meat," and I burst into a fit of giggles because I imagined him viewing me as a piece of sausage. I've spoken to many other Doms, but I've only ever been in a relationship with. . three - including, Sinpain. I don't really jump in and out of a relationship. I'm searching for a connection here, and I can't say it's easy.

It's ironic, because at the stage we are at now - I find myself being unworthy of his attentions. At the beginning, I just saw him as an ass who was undeserving of it, but I no longer really view him that way. If he says something "assish" I still have the tendency to scold him, but other than that, I like him ever so more as a person.

Sinpain has taught me the dynamics of a D/s relationship through what I've experienced with him. It feels phenomenal. I have never felt this way, and I ponder how it even becomes a possibility, so this feeling fills me with extreme guilt.

I wonder if it is always just OK to feel extremely sated and happy all the time. Extremely sated and happy doesn't even describe how I feel. I'm so utterly grateful that I'm in a position where I am beginning to feel unworthy of his attentions. I'm not sure whether or not this is just one of my own personal hang ups, but I feel guilty in just always "taking." I don't know how to end this post. If I think of more I'll add it in later.

I suppose I'm just delving too much into these feelings, and I've set up camp and refuse to budge. Implying I would camp to begin with. Which is no. I hate bugs.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you for the update! I for one, will continue to listen to what youhave to say-- without prejudice.

 

[Kittehkarlene]

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[Kittehkarlene]

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[Stella_Omega]

so he was forced to listen to me turn into a sniveling ball of snot.

I know that it seems that way to you-- it's his comfort you are worried about, not yours. You know that the truth is, you're being forced to exhibit yourself as a sniveling ball of snot.

OMG I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! So humiliating.