My First Erotic Poem Posted, Feed Back Please!

[stillgoodenuff]

Hi Everyone,

My first posted poem here on literotica. You can view it at:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?page=1000&id=46217

I would like some feed back to help me create a better one next time.

Thanks

Stillgoodenuff

 

[Star At Sunrise]

Critique others

What a great poem! I liked it very much! It's hard to critique because it's heartfelt and obviously been worked on with great care. Keep it up! I wish I could give you a more detailed critique, but I don't see much to comment on, other than the whole poem was good. I hope that you will keep posting and also take some time to critique others work here too.

I'm trying to think of some constructive advice. I'd love to see some of your non sexual short poems, the ones that are "snapshots" ect. But don't force it. You're already a pretty darn good writer!