My first effort

[JenF28UK]

Any thoughts on my first Lit posting? It's more a seduction than erotica, I guess...but it is also all true....https://literotica.com/s/how-i-pull-men-on-the-airplane

 

[Sparky74]

Any thoughts on my first Lit posting? It's more a seduction than erotica, I guess...but it is also all true....https://literotica.com/s/how-i-pull-men-on-the-airplane

Looking forward to reading have sent you a private message

 

[ramoredrake]

Makes me want to book a flight to London. Or three.

 

[yukonnights]

As this is your first "story attempt", congratulations are in order. However, I think you could do better. Perhaps you're planning to continue the story with other parts — if you're not already planning that, I'd encourage you to think about doing it. The story is very short, and it just stops with no resolution — no mention of details of what happens later at the hotel room — no actual sex portrayed, etc. If you do plan to continue this particular story, or other future short stories, I'd suggest that you mention that detail at either the introduction of the story or at the end so readers will know there is more on the way.

I think you have a good premise/idea for your story and you can take it forward with a multitude of options for naughty sexy fun. Bottom line, I think most readers are going to want more of the details that come later in the character's time at the hotel together.

Again, kudos for getting a story up and hope some of what I've said here is helpful.

 

[Rob_Royale]

It reads like instructions. It's all about how she does something. We'd rather read the story of her doing it.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

It reads like instructions. It's all about how she does something. We'd rather read the story of her doing it.

With all due respect, it is posted in the "How To" category.

I found it technically sound from a grammatical standpoint. The plot does open the potential for sequels, which I would encourage.

 

[Rob_Royale]

With all due respect, it is posted in the "How To" category.

I found it technically sound from a grammatical standpoint. The plot does open the potential for sequels, which I would encourage.

Holy cow. Had no idea that category existed. I retract my earlier comment.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Thing with the How To... category is you probably won't get many readers.

I agree a lot of readers will want some actual sex happening. If that story was tidied up a bit, cup sizes are always capitalised, maybe make clear that you're the cliché sizes rather than just reeling off stats, and then you went "For example, just last week I was on a flight back to to (city) and I spotted this guy. Bob." and then you meet him back at the hotel and a similar amount of words follows, especially with a bit of description of stockings and heels and air hostess uniform, then you could have a very popular story.

Could do with a proofread, but you write convincingly. Which is key. Grammar can be fixed easily, boring can't. Write more!

 

[SomaSlave]

First of all, congratulations on your first story. It's definitely a slice of life not many get to experience, though I wonder how many men are going to get in trouble thinking they're on one of your flights.

The details of your seduction process are, I think, about right. Since you're posting this in How To, the lack of overt sex isn't a drawback. The title, in particular, sets the mood quite nicely. I like the use of the word "pull" in describing what you do. It reminds me of something Bessie Smith, the great blues singer, would do. During some of her performances, she would target a man in the audience and sing him on stage through eye contact. You're continuing the long tradition of the femme fatale.

A couple of nits:

• It's not necessary to put target in quotes. Putting a word or phrase in quotes generally indicates you're using it metaphorically or ironically, rather than literally. You're actually hunting your prey, so he is literally a target.
• The mention of wearing stockings is the sort of detail that elevates your story. However, you may want to tighten up the end of the paragraph. "I find them so much sexier and showing just a tiny bit of stocking-top sends such a message, I think?" may be better expressed "I find them so much sexier and showing just a tiny bit of stocking-top sends a message." Let the reader figure out what the message is: it makes them a more active reader.
• You put a link to your story in the post. However, you didn't make it active. I had to copy/paste it to get to your story. In the text editor, you can select the chain icon to add a link to your story. That will make it easier for people e to read it.

Overall, a very good first effort. I'm looking forward to your future efforts, perhaps a series of stories recounting your more memorable seductions?