My first attempt and a question

[Archieosullivan]

G’day everyone. Long time (casual) reader, but my girlfriend loves erotica so I finally wrote her a story the other day. Took me all day, lucky it’s the holidays

So literotica were kind enough to publish it which was exciting, and I noticed half the stories have a little red H next to them and half don’t. I couldn’t figure it out. Sorry, I’m so green - can anyone tell me what that is?

Story is here if anyone’s brave enough to read a first-timer.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-game-137

Thanks. Archie

 

[Archieosullivan]

Um… another silly question I guess.

Will I get notified if anyone ever replies to this or will I need to find this thread again?

The irony of posting this here is not lost on me. God I’m such a noob *

 

[RoperTrace]

G’day everyone. Long time (casual) reader, but my girlfriend loves erotica so I finally wrote her a story the other day. Took me all day, lucky it’s the holidays

So literotica were kind enough to publish it which was exciting, and I noticed half the stories have a little red H next to them and half don’t. I couldn’t figure it out. Sorry, I’m so green - can anyone tell me what that is?

Story is here if anyone’s brave enough to read a first-timer.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-game-137

Thanks. Archie

. .

 

[Archieosullivan]

Thanks Roper. Yeah I can see the pattern now.
I appreciate that. Maybe it’s not as bad as I thought

 

[ElectricBlue]

Um… another silly question I guess.

Will I get notified if anyone ever replies to this or will I need to find this thread again?

The irony of posting this here is not lost on me. God I’m such a noob *

There's a "Thread Tools" menu top right, which includes a "Subscribe to this Thread" button. I have no idea if it works or not (I don't use it), but worth a try.

 

[RoperTrace]

Thanks Roper. Yeah I can see the pattern now.
I appreciate that. Maybe it’s not as bad as I thought

. .

 

[Archieosullivan]

The red H signifies a High rating, which is an average of 4.5 or higher over a minimum of 10 ratings.
(edit)-Okay, I gave you a five; smashing good fuck fantasy. I question how the girls were able to talk and walk upright after five or more drinks. Loved the "disheveled slut" reference, seemed appropriate.

Thanks Roper, very encouraging, I feel like a 5 is kind, but like I said, it’s encouraging that someone might enjoy it.

I never thought about the drinks thing, that’s funny, but I’ll just say this. The characters are inspired by real people, and they can certainly put the drinks away when they want to. I’m Australian and they are both from nations with a good drinking heritage, we don’t drink as much these days, but I’ve spent many a night out with the inspiration for both those characters and if they’re feeling festive, 5 is just a start I’m obviously far more responsible of course. Strictly lemonade, never more than one

 

[Robert_Lovelace]

Some thoughts about "The Game"

I've never posted on any of these threads before so I have no idea where this will come up and in what form, but here goes.

I thought this was a great start. The idea of the game is captivating, and probably appeals to men and women -- women who might identify with the roving eye idea and men who like to think of predatory women. I also thought you handled the rhyhm of the story quite well: the slight conflict between the two girls, then the gradual loss of interest, and the surprise arrival of "Adonis". I didn't find the description of this hunk very convincing though: the details didn't really add up and I couldn't see where intelligence and class came from. But that is probably a matter of taste. The action in the toilet seems to have triggered a strong response from readers so it looks like you got that right. Dialogue seemed realistic, too. Good work.

 

[Archieosullivan]

I've never posted on any of these threads before so I have no idea where this will come up and in what form, but here goes.

I thought this was a great start. The idea of the game is captivating, and probably appeals to men and women -- women who might identify with the roving eye idea and men who like to think of predatory women. I also thought you handled the rhyhm of the story quite well: the slight conflict between the two girls, then the gradual loss of interest, and the surprise arrival of "Adonis". I didn't find the description of this hunk very convincing though: the details didn't really add up and I couldn't see where intelligence and class came from. But that is probably a matter of taste. The action in the toilet seems to have triggered a strong response from readers so it looks like you got that right. Dialogue seemed realistic, too. Good work.

Thanks for the feedback Robert. Yeah, my man wasn’t concocted for any other reason than to titillate my girlfriend - I know what she likes and this was my attempt to create it, albeit amateurishly. Still, I appreciate the time you took to let me know what you think. I honestly didn’t take this very seriously at all, very much for a laugh, but if I write again I’ll take your feedback on board. My normal domain is calculus so I may by a perennial under-achiever in the character description stakes

 

[Robert_Lovelace]

A really loving gift to your girlfriend and I hope she appreciated it!