My Excuse

[English Lady]

*hugs and kisses* Doc It's very good to see you and I'm glad you survived hospital. I've missed you!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Sorry to hear about your crappy birthday and your hospital trip.
Stay well Zoot, we missed you.

 

[eric shawn listo]

Glad you're back Doc..and once again Ted proves he and I are twins.

 

[Liar]

Funny thing is, you'd think that something like that would turn your life around and change you as a person, make you realize some important truths and want dedicate yourself to a higher purpose. Well, not in my case. All I wanted was a shower and a corned beef sandwich.

--Zoot

Well then, I'd say you'd already found what's important in life.

Good to have you back, and glad you're ok.

Oh, and there's butt sex at hospitals too. You just have to know where to look.

 

[FallingToFly]

Oh, and there's butt sex at hospitals too. You just have to know where to look.

The proctology department?


(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Dr. M - glad you're back. And your AV for some reason makes me feel creeped out and giggly at once...

Soya Lecithin will increase the metabolism, follow dosage intructions and consult the doctor, cut back on the meat (or switch to venison, which is leaner and packs more protein), add some fresh fruits and veggies, and, if you need to increase your exercise level skinny-dipping is always a treat.. do it with a bunch of people you like/love and you'd be surprised how quickly you get to enjoying physical exertion.

Okay, okay... I'm going to run away before someone smacks me for offering unwanted advice. Glad it was just a false alarm.

 

[Aurora Black]

Welcome back, Doc. Glad to hear that it was nothing serious.

 

[CharleyH]

To anyone I've slighted lately or who feels I've ignored them, I have an excuse: I've been in the hospital and just got out today.

Started last Thursday, which was my birthday, a birthday advanced enough that I was thinking, "You know, I'm now at about the age when men start having heart attacks. I'm overweight. I'm a terrible carnivore and caffeine addict, and I smoke like two packs a day when I'm writing. I'd better watch it."

Bingo! At 12 noon I start feeling palpitations. Get up to go to the pharmacy to check my pressure, and there's a tightness in my chest. Come in and sit down and the tightness eases. Get up to go out again, and it's back.

So what do I do? Why, I go online and read about heart attacks for about 20 minutes, of course. They all say the same thing: get help immediately. Even if you only think you might be imagining you're having a heart attack, go have it checked out. Still not sure, I called my doctor who's part of a health care group (of course) and got the phone tree: "If this is a medical emergency, hang up and call 911." Well, it wasn't really an emergency, was it? They didn't have an option for: What if it might be an emergency but you don't want to embarrass yourself in case it's just heartburn? so I chose to speak to the nurse-adviser: "Our lines are currently busy, but please stay on the line. Your call is important to us..."

So what to do? I finally drove myself over to Rush North Shore hospital over here. It wasn't my first choice, but they have good parking. I walked into the emergency room and said, "My chest hurts."

That's all it took. Apparently I was in atrial fibrillation with a heart rate of 172 (it's amazing how quickly you become an expert at vital signs when yours are involved. 135 over 72 is sexier to me now than 36-24-34). They started me on some IV drug to reduce my heart rate and got it to stabilize fairly quickly, but then checked me in for tests. Long story short, the tests came back fine (well, there were some doubts about the stress test, but my hospital pants kept falling off on the treadmill and the nurse finally had to tape them to my ass with surgical tape), and today I finally had the angiogram which showed no problames at all, and so today I was released. Five days of fear, boredom, worry, no showers, hospital food and daytime TV. Hospitals are kind of like prisons--all the humiliation and feelings of menace but none of the smoking or butt sex.

So that's why my homework is late. No, seriously, I have a lot of catching up to do and didn't want anyone to feel that I was purposely ignoring them or anything like that.

Funny thing is, you'd think that something like that would turn your life around and change you as a person, make you realize some important truths and want dedicate yourself to a higher purpose. Well, not in my case. All I wanted was a shower and a corned beef sandwich.

--Zoot

Good god that was hilarious! Albeit I am sorry for the health probs, Doc - but wow what a spirit you have! Corned Beef, huh? LOL and big lingering hug.

 

[herecomestherain]

"Hospitals are kind of like prisons--all the humiliation and feelings of menace but none of the smoking or butt sex. "

You are wonderful - I'm very glad you're back - take care of your heart.

 

[Unsung Muse]

A dear friend of mine had a heart transplant in February: a most frightening, unsettling, mind-blowing, and life-altering experience. All those people waiting -- but plagued by guilt over the reality of what they were praying for -- even I quit smoking for nearly 4 whole days (but it's a little easier while camped out in the CICU).

Doc, I am very very glad to hear you're okay

A little surprised your dreams a while back (strange red tubes under the earth, something about fighting them or trying to dig them up...?) didn't give you more of a jump on it. I remember reading your description of that dream and thinking 'damn it, man, get your ass to a doctor' (even started typing it, but stopped -- thinking I'd sound like a complete nut)

Please take care & stay well,

 

[angelicminx]

Kisses for your body, hugs for your soul. Glad to hear you are okay, Dr. M.

My father is 51 and has been in and out of the hospital 50 times in the last 10 years for chest pains, etc. The doctors could never seem to come up with any reason for his difficulty. That is, until December 2005. At that point they found 18 blockages. 6 of which were 95%, the rest between 75 and 80%. He underwent open heart surgery December 14. He went back in this morning because his heart is still in A fib. Hmm, what that means I'm not sure, but I'm told "if they find something they may have to go back in."

Take care of yourself Dr. M, stay on the doctors asses if need be. We Litsters love you and want you to stay healthy.

 

[Honey123]

OMG! I just read this!

{{hugs}} and 's

Happy to hear you are well...take care!!!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

A little surprised your dreams a while back (strange red tubes under the earth, something about fighting them or trying to dig them up...?) didn't give you more of a jump on it. I remember reading your description of that dream and thinking 'damn it, man, get your ass to a doctor' (even started typing it, but stopped -- thinking I'd sound like a complete nut)

Spookier than that.

A couple months after I wrote "The Moth's Song" for the Halloween story competitiion two years ago I developed a plague of tiny moths living in my pantry that I haven't been entirely able to eradicate to this day. And you know, when I wrote that story, I kind of knew that was going to happen. I had this feeling I was invoking something.

For the current Earth Day competition, I wrote a story in which the heroine's lover dies suddenly and unexpectedly of a stroke. He's taken to the hospital and never comes out. I was researching strokes for the story, and got the creepy feeling that I shouldn't read too much about them because I might invoke one myself. (Strokes terrify me--the idea of being trapped in your own body.) When I was in the hospital, part of my panic was due to the fact that in the story the guy never got to say goodbye to anyone or anything, and I thought it was going to be like that for me. I've lost a couple of people who died unexpectedly during routine hospital tests or procedures.

I should stick to stories about people winning the lottery.

 

[TheEarl]

Zoot: Can you write a story about *me* winning the lottery?

Seriously, good to have you still here.

The Earl

 

[amicus]

amicus...

 

[Unsung Muse]

Spookier than that.

A couple months after I wrote "The Moth's Song" for the Halloween story competitiion two years ago I developed a plague of tiny moths living in my pantry that I haven't been entirely able to eradicate to this day. And you know, when I wrote that story, I kind of knew that was going to happen. I had this feeling I was invoking something...

...and the things he draws come true...
Forget the lottary, stick to stories of hooking up with randy strangers at parties

*clink*
To Your Health,