dr_mabeuse
seduce the mind
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2002
- Posts
- 11,528
To anyone I've slighted lately or who feels I've ignored them, I have an excuse: I've been in the hospital and just got out today.
Started last Thursday, which was my birthday, a birthday advanced enough that I was thinking, "You know, I'm now at about the age when men start having heart attacks. I'm overweight. I'm a terrible carnivore and caffeine addict, and I smoke like two packs a day when I'm writing. I'd better watch it."
Bingo! At 12 noon I start feeling palpitations. Get up to go to the pharmacy to check my pressure, and there's a tightness in my chest. Come in and sit down and the tightness eases. Get up to go out again, and it's back.
So what do I do? Why, I go online and read about heart attacks for about 20 minutes, of course. They all say the same thing: get help immediately. Even if you only think you might be imagining you're having a heart attack, go have it checked out. Still not sure, I called my doctor who's part of a health care group (of course) and got the phone tree: "If this is a medical emergency, hang up and call 911." Well, it wasn't really an emergency, was it? They didn't have an option for: What if it might be an emergency but you don't want to embarrass yourself in case it's just heartburn? so I chose to speak to the nurse-adviser: "Our lines are currently busy, but please stay on the line. Your call is important to us..."
So what to do? I finally drove myself over to Rush North Shore hospital over here. It wasn't my first choice, but they have good parking. I walked into the emergency room and said, "My chest hurts."
That's all it took. Apparently I was in atrial fibrillation with a heart rate of 172 (it's amazing how quickly you become an expert at vital signs when yours are involved. 135 over 72 is sexier to me now than 36-24-34). They started me on some IV drug to reduce my heart rate and got it to stabilize fairly quickly, but then checked me in for tests. Long story short, the tests came back fine (well, there were some doubts about the stress test, but my hospital pants kept falling off on the treadmill and the nurse finally had to tape them to my ass with surgical tape), and today I finally had the angiogram which showed no problames at all, and so today I was released. Five days of fear, boredom, worry, no showers, hospital food and daytime TV. Hospitals are kind of like prisons--all the humiliation and feelings of menace but none of the smoking or butt sex.
So that's why my homework is late. No, seriously, I have a lot of catching up to do and didn't want anyone to feel that I was purposely ignoring them or anything like that.
Funny thing is, you'd think that something like that would turn your life around and change you as a person, make you realize some important truths and want dedicate yourself to a higher purpose. Well, not in my case. All I wanted was a shower and a corned beef sandwich.
--Zoot
Started last Thursday, which was my birthday, a birthday advanced enough that I was thinking, "You know, I'm now at about the age when men start having heart attacks. I'm overweight. I'm a terrible carnivore and caffeine addict, and I smoke like two packs a day when I'm writing. I'd better watch it."
Bingo! At 12 noon I start feeling palpitations. Get up to go to the pharmacy to check my pressure, and there's a tightness in my chest. Come in and sit down and the tightness eases. Get up to go out again, and it's back.
So what do I do? Why, I go online and read about heart attacks for about 20 minutes, of course. They all say the same thing: get help immediately. Even if you only think you might be imagining you're having a heart attack, go have it checked out. Still not sure, I called my doctor who's part of a health care group (of course) and got the phone tree: "If this is a medical emergency, hang up and call 911." Well, it wasn't really an emergency, was it? They didn't have an option for: What if it might be an emergency but you don't want to embarrass yourself in case it's just heartburn? so I chose to speak to the nurse-adviser: "Our lines are currently busy, but please stay on the line. Your call is important to us..."
So what to do? I finally drove myself over to Rush North Shore hospital over here. It wasn't my first choice, but they have good parking. I walked into the emergency room and said, "My chest hurts."
That's all it took. Apparently I was in atrial fibrillation with a heart rate of 172 (it's amazing how quickly you become an expert at vital signs when yours are involved. 135 over 72 is sexier to me now than 36-24-34). They started me on some IV drug to reduce my heart rate and got it to stabilize fairly quickly, but then checked me in for tests. Long story short, the tests came back fine (well, there were some doubts about the stress test, but my hospital pants kept falling off on the treadmill and the nurse finally had to tape them to my ass with surgical tape), and today I finally had the angiogram which showed no problames at all, and so today I was released. Five days of fear, boredom, worry, no showers, hospital food and daytime TV. Hospitals are kind of like prisons--all the humiliation and feelings of menace but none of the smoking or butt sex.
So that's why my homework is late. No, seriously, I have a lot of catching up to do and didn't want anyone to feel that I was purposely ignoring them or anything like that.
Funny thing is, you'd think that something like that would turn your life around and change you as a person, make you realize some important truths and want dedicate yourself to a higher purpose. Well, not in my case. All I wanted was a shower and a corned beef sandwich.
--Zoot
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