My dating site ad

[KimGordon67]

So this isn't actually a personal, but I am about to write an ad for a dating site. (The backstory is here, if anyone's interested - the key point is probably that I'm not intending to be monogamous, although I do have a current primary partner.)

I'm going to draft it later today, but thought I might do a bit of market research first, to see if anyone has any thought about things are useful to mention, or alternatively things that might put off people I'd be otherwise interested in ... idea on a postcard please.
Ok, not an actual postcard.

 

[JamesRTickit]

I found your bdsm test to be odd

Rope bunny 93%?

So I suggest your dating ad should mention that.

And invite ideas for experimentation.

See who answers and how good the suggestions are.

And don't worry about "happy ever after"

 

[KimGordon67]

Rope bunny 93%?

So I suggest your dating ad should mention that.

And invite ideas for experimentation.

See who answers and how good the suggestions are.

And don't worry about "happy ever after"

I"m curious - what's odd about my test results?

 

[KimGordon67]

Anyway, this is what I wrote ...

Peak my interest ... but first READ THE AD. Please. (This is the 'headline' that punters see on the main page - from there they decide whether to click through into a profile.)

About me
If you've clicked through to tell me it's 'pique', not 'peak', we're off to a good start.
Just to be up front - if you message with 'hi' or anything of that nature, or a form email, I won't respond. I've written this profile with the intention of helping people work out if we might get on or not - I'd appreciate you giving me some indication of why you think that might be the case. 'Hi' doesn't tell me that. There's plenty of clues ... if you can't see them, then we're probably not on the same page. (If there's too many words here for you to be bothered with, let's assume we're not going to get on.)
Also, I'm not doing monogamy at the moment, and I have a primary relationship. If you're looking for 'the one', probably best to keep looking. Being ethical and respectful is really fundamental to my version of non-monogamy. If you're 'cheating' in any sense, I don't think that's really my thing.
And ... I have 'sexual meetings' checked because the only other options are 'relationships' and 'friendships', and neither of those are what I'm wanting, at least not in the traditional sense. This does NOT mean I'm looking for random hook ups, and no, you CAN'T turn up here in half an hour and get laid.

I separated from my husband nearly a year ago, and it's extremely amicable - we still spend quite a bit of time together. I have a boyfriend, and he's definitely my main relationship. However, I don't want the rest of my life to be monogamous ... and so here I am.
I'm pretty independent, I have a good job that I love, I like music of the less-mainstream variety ... if you have more than a passing familiarity with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, that probably gives you an indication of where I'm at with music. And at least some cross over in music taste seems to be part of most of my relation/friendships. I enjoy lots of other stuff too ... movies, theatre, dance, art ... although I'll admit I don't read a great deal. (There's a good reason for that.) I love food - ALL the food, of any type - there isn't a lot I won't eat and enjoy. I'm pretty interested in politics and social issues. I like thinking about stuff ... and I like having a laugh. Sometimes at the same time.

Important characteristics I'm looking for
I like people who are interested as well as interesting. Definitely over 40 (and I guess probably under 60). I'm not particularly concerned about employment status or investment portfolios. I'm OK with tattoos, missing bits, scars ... whatever, really. If you voted National, we're probably not going to hit it off. If you love Six-60 or Ed Sheeran to bits, we're probably not going to hit it off. I don't really care for sports. I like a slightly off-balanced sense of humour, empathy, open-mindedness, not taking oneself too seriously, not being bitter about the past ...
There seems to be a lot of negatives in there, which probably isn't good, but to some extent is just is easier to say 'these are the things that turn me off' than to specify what does interest me, because saying 'I want X, Y and Z' just seems too limiting. If you think we might be aligned, message me and give me something to work with ... just start a conversation, and see how it goes.
I don't have a heap of spare time, and find it easier to establish if there's some sort of connection through exchanging messages before actually meeting ... I know this probably seems annoying to a lot of people, but it works for me.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I read your bdsm test results and the link to your explanation. I am posting this as just another thought. ideas bring new ideas I think. So, here's my idea.

If you want to write a personal ad - please do. Just be yourself. Whatever you want an anonymous person to know about you is what you write about. My only caution is that you do not need to include anything for the sake of attracting a possible sexual partner. I am guessing a basic description of yourself, along with what you want, will take care of that.

As a subject of your marketing research, other than a simple hook-up, my wants and needs when deciding whether to go further than just reading an ad would be to know a few basic elements about the person advertising.

Is she kind and pleasant? Does she possess a sense of humor to go with an adventurous spirit? Does she NEED to be in a relationship because of insecurities, or is she really just filling a personal, emotional need?

If the ad can answer those questions, then I'd be interested in learning more.

Hope this helped in some way.

And good luck!

 

[KimGordon67]

I read your bdsm test results and the link to your explanation. I am posting this as just another thought. ideas bring new ideas I think. So, here's my idea.

If you want to write a personal ad - please do. Just be yourself. Whatever you want an anonymous person to know about you is what you write about. My only caution is that you do not need to include anything for the sake of attracting a possible sexual partner. I am guessing a basic description of yourself, along with what you want, will take care of that.

As a subject of your marketing research, other than a simple hook-up, my wants and needs when deciding whether to go further than just reading an ad would be to know a few basic elements about the person advertising.

Is she kind and pleasant? Does she possess a sense of humor to go with an adventurous spirit? Does she NEED to be in a relationship because of insecurities, or is she really just filling a personal, emotional need?

If the ad can answer those questions, then I'd be interested in learning more.

Hope this helped in some way.

And good luck!

Thanks - I think the ad (above) actually did end up doing all that. I'm very much in agreement about the 'be yourself' advice ... although of course, we're all multi-faceted little special snowflakes, so then it's 'which version of 'myself' should I be?'

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Thanks - I think the ad (above) actually did end up doing all that. I'm very much in agreement about the 'be yourself' advice ... although of course, we're all multi-faceted little special snowflakes, so then it's 'which version of 'myself' should I be?'

The one I see is perfect!

Good luck!

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Anyway, this is what I wrote ...

Peak my interest ... but first READ THE AD. Please. (This is the 'headline' that punters see on the main page - from there they decide whether to click through into a profile.)

About me
If you've clicked through to tell me it's 'pique', not 'peak', we're off to a good start.
Just to be up front - if you message with 'hi' or anything of that nature, or a form email, I won't respond. I've written this profile with the intention of helping people work out if we might get on or not - I'd appreciate you giving me some indication of why you think that might be the case. 'Hi' doesn't tell me that. There's plenty of clues ... if you can't see them, then we're probably not on the same page. (If there's too many words here for you to be bothered with, let's assume we're not going to get on.)
Also, I'm not doing monogamy at the moment, and I have a primary relationship. If you're looking for 'the one', probably best to keep looking. Being ethical and respectful is really fundamental to my version of non-monogamy. If you're 'cheating' in any sense, I don't think that's really my thing.
And ... I have 'sexual meetings' checked because the only other options are 'relationships' and 'friendships', and neither of those are what I'm wanting, at least not in the traditional sense. This does NOT mean I'm looking for random hook ups, and no, you CAN'T turn up here in half an hour and get laid.

I separated from my husband nearly a year ago, and it's extremely amicable - we still spend quite a bit of time together. I have a boyfriend, and he's definitely my main relationship. However, I don't want the rest of my life to be monogamous ... and so here I am.
I'm pretty independent, I have a good job that I love, I like music of the less-mainstream variety ... if you have more than a passing familiarity with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, that probably gives you an indication of where I'm at with music. And at least some cross over in music taste seems to be part of most of my relation/friendships. I enjoy lots of other stuff too ... movies, theatre, dance, art ... although I'll admit I don't read a great deal. (There's a good reason for that.) I love food - ALL the food, of any type - there isn't a lot I won't eat and enjoy. I'm pretty interested in politics and social issues. I like thinking about stuff ... and I like having a laugh. Sometimes at the same time.

Important characteristics I'm looking for
I like people who are interested as well as interesting. Definitely over 40 (and I guess probably under 60). I'm not particularly concerned about employment status or investment portfolios. I'm OK with tattoos, missing bits, scars ... whatever, really. If you voted National, we're probably not going to hit it off. If you love Six-60 or Ed Sheeran to bits, we're probably not going to hit it off. I don't really care for sports. I like a slightly off-balanced sense of humour, empathy, open-mindedness, not taking oneself too seriously, not being bitter about the past ...
There seems to be a lot of negatives in there, which probably isn't good, but to some extent is just is easier to say 'these are the things that turn me off' than to specify what does interest me, because saying 'I want X, Y and Z' just seems too limiting. If you think we might be aligned, message me and give me something to work with ... just start a conversation, and see how it goes.
I don't have a heap of spare time, and find it easier to establish if there's some sort of connection through exchanging messages before actually meeting ... I know this probably seems annoying to a lot of people, but it works for me.

Good write-up. If I were there, I'd want to learn more. Honest, positive, with limits and rules to go with needs.

Should be a piece of cake.

 

[KimGordon67]

Good write-up. If I were there, I'd want to learn more. Honest, positive, with limits and rules to go with needs.

Should be a piece of cake.

LOL - you'd think so. But apparently words are *hard*. Most of the responses I get are comprised of 'Hi' or 'How's it going?'.

I'm not actually sure that many people use old fashioned dating sites any more. I may have to branch out to Tinder. *shudder*

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

LOL - you'd think so. But apparently words are *hard*. Most of the responses I get are comprised of 'Hi' or 'How's it going?'.

I'm not actually sure that many people use old fashioned dating sites any more. I may have to branch out to Tinder. *shudder*

Maybe you'll need to be patient to find someone more in tune with you...shy or awkward guys are the norm. Give it some time. Then when all you have is shy and awkward guys, you move on...lol...

 

[KimGordon67]

Maybe you'll need to be patient to find someone more in tune with you...shy or awkward guys are the norm. Give it some time. Then when all you have is shy and awkward guys, you move on...lol...

I am being patient. I'm like patience personified.