My Christmas wish... a dildo in my ass

[mike_always_horny]

Dear ladies of Lit,

All I want for Christmas is a woman to spread my eager asscheeks and fuck me stupid with a strapon. C'mon bitches, fuck my prostate. Make me yours. Grab the underside of my knees and push them up over my head and just have your way with me. My prostate is dying for release and my asshole is begging to feel full. Make me squirm. Make me scream. Make me cum so fucking hard that I pass out! Watch that hot, steady stream of cum cover my chest and face. FUCK ME!

 

[Edensgarden]

Dear ladies of Lit,

All I want for Christmas is a woman to spread my eager asscheeks and fuck me stupid with a strapon. C'mon bitches, fuck my prostate. Make me yours. Grab the underside of my knees and push them up over my head and just have your way with me. My prostate is dying for release and my asshole is begging to feel full. Make me squirm. Make me scream. Make me cum so fucking hard that I pass out! Watch that hot, steady stream of cum cover my chest and face. FUCK ME!

My what a vivid picture you paint! I bet you almost came while writing that.

Good luck finding a fucked up bitch to help you out with that. Maybe a 2013 New Year's goal could be to take a "How To Appeal To Women 101" class.

 

[LusterMunky]

Good luck finding a fucked up bitch to help you out with that. Maybe a 2013 New Year's goal could be to take a "How To Appeal To Women 101" class.

HAH!!

Nicely done.

 

[mike_always_horny]

I bet you almost came while writing that.

Haha, almost... but I am good at edging

You mean my post about wanting a woman to fuck my ass won't help me broadly appeal to women?!? Shucks.

 

[Edensgarden]

HAH!!

Nicely done.

I'm all for giving a good prostate massage but this is a little over the top.

Rule #1 - Never make a wish to the "bitches of lit" that you wouldn't personally wish from Santa while sitting on his lap. Do you really think that's how he suggests it to Mrs. C after a hard night's work?

 

[mike_always_horny]

I mean "bitch" in the most endearing way possible.

Do you have Rule #2 for me?

 

[Miles Long]

I'm all for giving a good prostate massage but this is a little over the top.

Rule #1 - Never make a wish to the "bitches of lit" that you wouldn't personally wish from Santa while sitting on his lap. Do you really think that's how he suggests it to Mrs. C after a hard night's work?

Christmas Trivia Fun Fact: the original lyrics were

You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo.

But they had to change "all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo" to "to town" to fit the music better. Personally I feel it kinda changes the meaning of the song, but I guess the general thrust is still there, so to speak.

 

[Edensgarden]

I mean "bitch" in the most endearing way possible.

Do you have Rule #2 for me?

Rule #2 - Santa's elves are damn good toy makers. A smart man would request an appropriate anal toy from Santa to be used by himself when endearing (not reindeering) bitches are unavailable.

 

[LusterMunky]

Christmas Trivia Fun Fact: the original lyrics were

You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo.

But they had to change "all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo" to "to town" to fit the music better. Personally I feel it kinda changes the meaning of the song, but I guess the general thrust is still there, so to speak.

Quit stalking me.

Merry Christmas, my friend.

 

[Miles Long]

Quit stalking me.

Merry Christmas, my friend.

Merry Christmas, LM!

 

[mike_always_horny]

That is a good suggestion Although I've got my middle finger and a bottle of lube, and that plus a hot bath will certainly suit me just fine! Toys make it too easy. I like making myself work for it. A bit more fun that way.

 

[LusterMunky]

Rule #2 - Santa's elves are damn good toy makers. A smart man would request an appropriate anal toy from Santa to be used by himself when endearing (not reindeering) bitches are unavailable.

Wow, you are GOOD

Remind me not to fuck with you.

 

[Edensgarden]

Christmas Trivia Fun Fact: the original lyrics were

You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo.

But they had to change "all over his face and chest while Mrs. Claus fucks him with a strap-on dildo" to "to town" to fit the music better. Personally I feel it kinda changes the meaning of the song, but I guess the general thrust is still there, so to speak.

So if I were to say, "Hey Miles, can I go to town on you?", it would be like asking if I could fuck you North Hole Style?

 

[LusterMunky]

So if I were to say, "Hey Miles, can I?",

His answer would be yes, regardless of the question.

 

[Edensgarden]

That is a good suggestion Although I've got my middle finger and a bottle of lube, and that plus a hot bath will certainly suit me just fine! Toys make it too easy. I like making myself work for it. A bit more fun that way.

Ummm....and a lit bitch wouldn't make it even easier? Now you have me really confused on this fucking holiday.....

 

[Miles Long]

His answer would be yes, regardless of the question.

You know me better than I know myself...

 

[mike_always_horny]

Having to beg for it on this board and take a little abuse for it, certainly not the "easy route", hehe. But I enjoy it, thank you

 

[bcassidy123]

Rule #3 - avoid the female reindeer with strap-ons

 

[Edensgarden]

Rule #3 - avoid the female reindeer with strap-ons

Mike,

Listen to Pinocchio...he speaks the truth.

Eden

 

[mike_always_horny]

I don't know, the reindeer does have on a very sexy pair of boots