My Big Virginity Mistake

[JackLuis]

A woman's perspective. Jesus sucks as a lover

I was 14 years old when I married Jesus. Not Jesus, the Panamanian who worked at Six Flags. I mean Jesus Christ, the Lord. My parents sent me off to Baptist youth camp in Panama City Beach for the week, and I came home with a tan and a purity ring. I sat with my legs crossed, cramped in a theater with 200 sweaty, sobbing teens as our pastor described the unwavering bonds of sex and why it should only be experienced within the confines of marriage.

 

[Handley_Page]

A woman's perspective. Jesus sucks as a lover

I suspect that it's not Jesus. It's the bigoted idiots who say things in His name.

 

[slyc_willie]

I dunno. Seems to me the woman had already made up her mind about her husband before they had sex. Maybe he wasn't too good at it, but she could have been more open, more supportive.

On the other hand, she makes a damn good case about premarital sex.

I have no illusions that my daughter, at some point, will have sex. And it will probably happen before she gets married. I just hope that, by the time she makes that decision, her mother and I have taught her well.

But I guarantee we'll never expect her to be a virgin on her wedding night. Fastest track to a divorce, I figure.

 

[Handley_Page]

I dunno. Seems to me the woman had already made up her mind about her husband before they had sex. Maybe he wasn't too good at it, but she could have been more open, more supportive.

On the other hand, she makes a damn good case about premarital sex.

I have no illusions that my daughter, at some point, will have sex. And it will probably happen before she gets married. I just hope that, by the time she makes that decision, her mother and I have taught her well.

But I guarantee we'll never expect her to be a virgin on her wedding night. Fastest track to a divorce, I figure.

Cross your fingers and hope for the Best.
I remember the shock when I realised my Daughter wasn't a virgin any more.

 

[JackLuis]

I believe this is a case that shows that real sexual education requires some experience and that to educate kids is more important in the long run than 'Purtity'.

Teaching boys how to do it right and why it is important, and girls what to do and how to protect themselves would be better for kids than raving about the sanctity of marriage.

I never had any Sex Ed classes and I suspect that the ones today are more biology than the psychology/physiology of the sexual exchange.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I dunno. Seems to me the woman had already made up her mind about her husband before they had sex. Maybe he wasn't too good at it, but she could have been more open, more supportive.

On the other hand, she makes a damn good case about premarital sex.

I have no illusions that my daughter, at some point, will have sex. And it will probably happen before she gets married. I just hope that, by the time she makes that decision, her mother and I have taught her well.

But I guarantee we'll never expect her to be a virgin on her wedding night. Fastest track to a divorce, I figure.

I believe the sex takes care of itself, and where parents stumble is modeling failed ways for dealing with problems. Example:

Back in 1994 we took a day trip outta town, 200 miles from home the car blew a head-gasket late at night. The small town we were in was like 50 miles from Jacksonville, and had no motel or taxi or bus service (it had a WALMART!). So I told my teenaged daughter to pay attention, and I went to work to fix the problem.

AAA came after the car and towed it to Jacksonville. I pulled cash out of an ATM. And I got on the phone with a friend of mine who lived near Jacksonville to come pick us up. We spent the night at his house, took care of the car repair in the AM, and got aboard a bus to Tampa. In Tampa another daughter picked us up and drove us home. A few days later I went back to Jacksonville and got the car.

 

[Noor]

A woman's perspective. Jesus sucks as a lover

Dead guys usually do.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I believe this is a case that shows that real sexual education requires some experience and that to educate kids is more important in the long run than 'Purtity'.

Teaching boys how to do it right and why it is important, and girls what to do and how to protect themselves would be better for kids than raving about the sanctity of marriage.

I never had any Sex Ed classes and I suspect that the ones today are more biology than the psychology/physiology of the sexual exchange.

LOL, my soon to be published paper is on sex education. We argue that classes are still biological, often being taught by teachers who are embarrassed and have no clue themselves about good relationships. We argue that there is too much focus on SEX and the best technique of putting a condom on a banana and not enough about having the self-respect to insist a man puts one on himself when he has the privilege of shagging you (whether he is Jesus or not).

I think kids should come on Literotica and read all about it before they go out and give it a go, and that's why I set up my blog.

 

[JackLuis]

That is one of the things that Horner Springs focuses on. The issue that sex is too important to leave to half assed nonscientific folk lore and misinformation.

If I had been taught the importance of a clit in the 10th grade and not be embarrassed to buy condoms it would have made my life a lot easier.

But nooo, we think that kids will learn all about it, after they are married while reaming chaste until then, because Jesus will teach them.

I'd love the see the Secty of Education come on the TV and tell the bible thumpers to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up, because Jesus doesn't know shit about real sex.

 

[D_Lynn]

I'm pro'lly preaching to the choir here...

This personal account was well-written. I've heard similar accounts from friends of mine who ignored the early signs of sexual incompatibility in favor of the fairy tale. I don't know how many times I'd heard one of them confess that the sex wasn't great, but it didn't matter because the guy was a good provider and would make a great dad.

At my high school reunion just recently, I discovered how many of these "good providers and great dads" were willing to throw it all a way for a few nights of good sex. I felt bad for my girlfriend's plights. But these were the same girls who looked down their noses at their sorority sisters in college who were out getting in touch with their own sexuality. Those girls waited to get married until they'd found the guy who rocked their world in bed.

And those were the ones at the reunion who were still married.

I'm not suggesting that sex is the most important aspect of a marriage. But as this gal suggested in that article, it is a pretty important piece if you want to stay in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

 

[JackLuis]

This personal account was well-written.

I'm not suggesting that sex is the most important aspect of a marriage. But as this gal suggested in that article, it is a pretty important piece if you want to stay in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

I think that sex is a very important part of marriage, and that Sex Ed ought to teach more about what marriage is about, the hard work and giving necessary to create a relationship that can last. Too many people enter it with unrealistic expectations and don't understand that it is not all hearts and flowers, it's taking out the trash and cleaning the kitchen, making sure that she feels appreciated and that his needs are important too.

Sex Ed ought to be taught by Hot/Handsome teachers and not old dried up teachers that are embarrassed to talk about climaxes and STD's. Masturbation instruction should be taught and discussed in a rational way, so that kids get off on the wrong foot, or finger as the case may be.

 

[R. Richard]

I think that sex is a very important part of marriage, and that Sex Ed ought to teach more about what marriage is about, the hard work and giving necessary to create a relationship that can last. Too many people enter it with unrealistic expectations and don't understand that it is not all hearts and flowers, it's taking out the trash and cleaning the kitchen, making sure that she feels appreciated and that his needs are important too.

Sex Ed ought to be taught by Hot/Handsome teachers and not old dried up teachers that are embarrassed to talk about climaxes and STD's. Masturbation instruction should be taught and discussed in a rational way, so that kids get off on the wrong foot, or finger as the case may be.

When I was back in school, according to the girls, they were required to attend a long, boring lecture about sex. The teacher ended the lecture by asking, "Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of regret?"
Li'l Fifi immediately asked, "How do you make it last an hour?"
I mean, the message just wasn't getting through.

 

[D_Lynn]

Warning: Plot bunny ahead...

This article and discussion did remind me of an episode I saw on television about teenage chastity vows and purity ceremonies. They were showcasing a church in the southern US somewhere that regularly held these ceremonies.

On the outset, these events appear to be just like a wedding ceremony, only the "bride" is the teenage girl, and the "groom" is the girl's father. The vow is that the daughter will keep her virginity intact until she finds a suitor that meets her father's approval and they are married. There is a reception after the vows are taken where the father/daughter dance under romantic lights.

(Insert plot bunny for the Incest category here.)

I think it's been widely discussed on the internet how ineffective this tactic is at keeping the teen from engaging in pre-marital sex. The whole thing sort of squicked me out, to be perfectly honest.

 

[Noor]

I was lucky.

In my first sex ed class in 6th grade, the teacher went through her how reproduction works and then asked if any of us had anything to add.
One of my classmates, a nice Roman Catholic girl, then proceeded to explain in graphic detail how men come, and how to avoid pregnancy/keep virginity by not letting them come inside of you.
She also two pieces other of advice 1) one of you always keeps their pants on. 2) if the guy doesn't make you happy there are an endless number who would.
We all looked at her in complete awe and the teacher looked like she wanted to die.

 

[JackLuis]

In my first sex ed class in 6th grade, the teacher went through her how reproduction works and then asked if any of us had anything to add.
One of my classmates, a nice Roman Catholic girl, then proceeded to explain in graphic detail how men come, and how to avoid pregnancy/keep virginity by not letting them come inside of you.
She also two pieces other of advice 1) one of you always keeps their pants on. 2) if the guy doesn't make you happy there are an endless number who would.
We all looked at her in complete awe and the teacher looked like she wanted to die.

I think you meant Roamin' Catholic girl, right?

 

[Noor]

I think you meant Roamin' Catholic girl, right?

I don't think so, she was still with the same guy last I heard. He was kind of a gentle giant type and must have been very good in all sorts of ways

 

[lovecraft68]

As I sat with 200 other teens being brain washed by some sick fuck who would bang any one of us if given the chance.

Sorry, I thought that was more accurate.

God needs to stay out of sex period. Talk about waiting for the right one, talk about safe sex, talk about whatever you feel your kid should know,

Buy YOU THE PARENT talk about it in day to day terms, keep the bible thumping opinionated assholes out of it.

Because what was left out is also that the brainwashing fuck doing the preaching is also condemning homosexuality and spewing all their other prejudices.

Also, I give credit where credit is due.

Mary was the smartest woman who ever existed. She went out, got laid and knocked up and convinced everyone around her it was an "immaculate conception"

she even found an idiot dumb enough to marry her.

Kudos to her!

 

[JackLuis]

Another view of the effects of the "Purity Culture"

‘Purity’ culture: bad for women, worse for survivors of sexual assault

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I believe this is a case that shows that real sexual education requires some experience and that to educate kids is more important in the long run than 'Purtity'.

Teaching boys how to do it right and why it is important, and girls what to do and how to protect themselves would be better for kids than raving about the sanctity of marriage.

I never had any Sex Ed classes and I suspect that the ones today are more biology than the psychology/physiology of the sexual exchange.

Not even a biology class as much.

They don't teach the full anatomy of the female reproductive system. My college-level physiology class was the first science class I ever had that mentioned the clitoris. I've had 2 anatomy classes, and 3 health classes before then. There was a 20 year old woman in my class that thought that 'cunt' was the word for clitoris. My 15 year old sister didn't know what an orgasm was until I told her.

Unless you have a good teacher, or watch a lot of porn, there is no way you are going to get a good sex education. I know that certain someones have bitched that porn is fantasy, and we shouldn't feel responsible to teach the clueless/uninitiated. I always feel differently, because I know that if it wasn't for lit and my porn sites, I would still have a rudimentary and false idea of how sex works.

Most of the people on this forum still believe in 'cherry-popping'

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...s-is-wrong-about-the-hymen-they-are-not-alone

Teachers get in trouble for teaching basic anatomy

http://jezebel.com/5992503/biology-...tion-for-use-of-word-vagina-in-anatomy-lesson

And a lot of girls and young women are completely ignorant about how their bodies work. I think men have a much more intimate relationship with their genitalia because it's all on the outside. What you see, is what you get. They've been playing with it and touching it and familiar with it since they were very young. I have female friends who have never masturbated, and are not sure if they've ever had an orgasm.

It's pathetic.

 

[D_Lynn]

Another view of the effects of the "Purity Culture"

‘Purity’ culture: bad for women, worse for survivors of sexual assault

Holy shit! (pun intended) Taken from that article...

Where does a woman’s value lie? In her brain? Her heart? Her spirit?

According to right-wing culture warriors, “between her legs”. That’s what underlies the emphasis on virginity as “purity”, and the push for abstinence-only education.

 

[Handley_Page]

Not even a biology class as much.

They don't teach the full anatomy of the female reproductive system. My college-level physiology class was the first science class I ever had that mentioned the clitoris. I've had 2 anatomy classes, and 3 health classes before then. There was a 20 year old woman in my class that thought that 'cunt' was the word for clitoris. My 15 year old sister didn't know what an orgasm was until I told her.

Unless you have a good teacher, or watch a lot of porn, there is no way you are going to get a good sex education. I know that certain someones have bitched that porn is fantasy, and we shouldn't feel responsible to teach the clueless/uninitiated. I always feel differently, because I know that if it wasn't for lit and my porn sites, I would still have a rudimentary and false idea of how sex works.

Teachers get in trouble for teaching basic anatomy

http://jezebel.com/5992503/biology-...tion-for-use-of-word-vagina-in-anatomy-lesson

And a lot of girls and young women are completely ignorant about how their bodies work.
I have female friends who have never masturbated, and are not sure if they've ever had an orgasm.

It's pathetic.

Pathetic is too short a word to describe such wilful ignorant stupidity.

 

[JackLuis]

Why the "Sexually Pure Good Girl" Is a BS Myth That Screws Both Women and Men

http://www.alternet.org/files/styles/story_image/public/story_images/purity.jpg​

Fuck all of that.

Girls and women, if no one has ever told you this before, or if you just have trouble believing it: you are good, you are whole, you are yours. You do not exist to please men, and your value as a human being is not contingent upon your sexual capital. "Purity" is a lie. Do not even worry about any of this garbage, because it's about as real as a fucking unicorn. And like my Nana always used to say, "Never take life advice from a grown man who believes that unicorns are 'extinct.'"

Tell'em girl!

So, Girls, Fuck All of It

If you want to. Or don't fuck any of it, if you don't want to. Fuck women. Fuck men. Fuck no one. Point is, you get to fuck what you like, when you like, and your worth is not determined by some golden ratio of extreme boner tantalization vs. minimal boner touching. BONERS ARE NOT THE BOSS OF YOU. You are the boss of you.

 

[Handley_Page]

But unicorns ARE extinct.
Aren't they ?

 

[JackLuis]

But unicorns ARE extinct.
Aren't they ?

Actually mythical



See what Granny was talking about?

 

[MrPezman]

And then I know I'm where I belong.

It's cool to love Jesus. And it's cool if you want to wait until you're married. I'm not gonna say you're wrong on either count, as I'm not justified to. It only becomes uncool when you site sources like the Bible as reasons why you should never touch yourself, or why you should never have sex until you're married. The Bible may be God's word, or it may not. Either way, it was still written by man. Man adds his own views to his letters, and man is fallible. I believe in God, but I don't do it because a book tells me to. I came to my own conclusions on his existence. Forcing beliefs on a person is already wrong, but when it is a child, it is morally reprehensible. And when one says that God says they can't or they will burn in hell for eternity, boiling alive in a lake of fire, etc.? Imagine being a child and hearing something like that. Or, for many of you, recall being told this as a child. How does hearing something like that affect you, both short term and long term? Just ask the child of a devoutly religious family. If God created you, if he designed your body to be the way it is, then why would he forbid you from knowing your own body that he created? If no man is able to know God's mind, then why do so many insist they do? Like my dad told me more than once, if someone tells you one thing, don't just take it as fact. Do your research first. Don't be a sheep. So sayeth the shepherd, so sayeth the flock, forever and ever, amen...