My autistic son is being bullied.

[MissMaidenMinx]

I've posted this in other forums but I'm looking for a variety of opinions.

My 8 yr old son is being picked on for his long hair. He's being called a girl and being told he can't play with the other NT boys. He's in a class of 7 ASD kids, so it's only at lunchtime that he is being ostracised. I'm in regular communication with his principal so I know the issue will be dealt with soon enough.

The bit I'm having trouble with is, I want to figure out a way to explain to my boy that not everyone will like him and that that's ok. I want to teach him to focus on the people he likes and that like him and not worry about everyone else.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

It is what children do.

They have to learn to adapt. Is not that what is always said when you home-school?



They will not get any "socialization."

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

It is what children do.

They have to learn to adapt. Is not that what is always said when you home-school?



They will not get any "socialization."

Oh, I know it's what happens. The reason this is an issue is my boy who usually loves school is suddenly not wanting to go because of this.

 

[girlsmiley]

Tough one.

Just tell him that everything's going to be alright.

She's a hard road.

 

[girlsmiley]

Get his dad to talk to him.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

My son has aspergers, he is 10 and in mainstream school. For the most part he is fine and manages well but there are kids who realise he has a somewhat kinked view on life. Now, a lot of them find his views fun and go with the flow but there can be problems at times, particularly with older kids.

All we can do is make sure the school knows, make sure he knows daily that not everyone id his friend and reinforce staying away from the bullies.

Even though our child is on the autistic spectrum, we also have to accept that he needs to learn to deal with the cold, hard, cruel world. Kids, whether we like to say it or not, are horribly cruel little buggers and will take advantage of any weekness they can find.

Make sure the school is doing its job, lots of love for your boy, be as blunt as you can (it sinks in better, especially with very literal autistic kids) and keep on being the good caring parent/s

Good luck xx

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I worked with SED kids for years, what really works well is to stick a pair of girls panties in his back pocket, and when another kid gives him shit, pull the panties down over the other kids head. I learned this from my son when he was in middle school. He has 3 sisters so panties weren't a problem.

Yes, the principal was upset, yes I had to go to school ONCE, and yes the problem stopped. Kids hate surprises, cuz what theyre doing is testing the social scripts they've discovered. Panties around their ears aint in the script.

Another kewl trick I observed was when I was a kid. The big boys tormented the small boys trying to pee, until one day a lil guy pissed all over the kid holding him. That was the end of that bullshit. It wasn't in the script. The little boy was supposed to cry not hose the bigger kid.

 

[unregistered]

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Thanks Lady Fiona. You've given me a lot to consider.

James, I understand the theory, but don't think him walking around with girls undies is going to help him.

Vetteman, even if he would sit quietly for a hair cut, I wouldn't push it on him. I don't want to encourage bending to peer pressure or changing for other people.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Get him a haircut.

JARHEAD HATER!

 

[unregistered]

 

[tactful]

I've posted this in other forums but I'm looking for a variety of opinions.

My 8 yr old son is being picked on for his long hair. He's being called a girl and being told he can't play with the other NT boys. He's in a class of 7 ASD kids, so it's only at lunchtime that he is being ostracised. I'm in regular communication with his principal so I know the issue will be dealt with soon enough.

The bit I'm having trouble with is, I want to figure out a way to explain to my boy that not everyone will like him and that that's ok. I want to teach him to focus on the people he likes and that like him and not worry about everyone else.

Contact "Rent-a-Hells Angel" or "Rent-a-Lawyer", both are a few bucks, but the problem goes away, pretty fast.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Well now, I'd hate to upset that little democracy. Kid needs discipline, tell him to get tough. Have his dad teach him how to kick ass. If you know he's getting his ass kicked because he's got long hair, protect him and get him a haircut. Next thing you know he's not going to want to go to school.

No where did I say he was getting his arse kicked. As for discipline, he gets plenty of that, thank you very much.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Contact "Rent-a-Hells Angel" or "Rent-a-Lawyer", both are a few bucks, but the problem goes away, pretty fast.

*chuckles* yeah... Nah.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Well now, I'd hate to upset that little democracy. Kid needs discipline, tell him to get tough. Have his dad teach him how to kick ass. If you know he's getting his ass kicked because he's got long hair, protect him and get him a haircut. Next thing you know he's not going to want to go to school.

LOL Vette, as much as I love your directness, it doesnt work on autistic kids in the main, and when it does, it works to the opposite extreme. We learnt that the hard way, took him to karate, next thing I know I have the school calling me because our 8 yr old son thinks hes Bruce bloody Lee!!! You can discipline but you kinda have to go around the bushes to get to the park, cant just walk the path.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

Contact "Rent-a-Hells Angel" or "Rent-a-Lawyer", both are a few bucks, but the problem goes away, pretty fast.

*chuckles* yeah... Nah.

Have him tell them "Up their noses w/rubber hoses".

 

[dolf]

are here any popular sport/music/tv stars with long hair that the kids like? if he can say ''yeah, just like _____!'' when they point out his long hair it might help. I know that the kids shut up about one boy wearing speedos when I pointed out that david beckham wears them.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

are here any popular sport/music/tv stars with long hair that the kids like? if he can say ''yeah, just like _____!'' when they point out his long hair it might help. I know that the kids shut up about one boy wearing speedos when I pointed out that david beckham wears them.

Wise wurdz from the dolf lady again

 

[Tryharder62]

I just wondered if he really liked his hair long or he didn't like to get his hair cut? If he has no feeling one way or another about his hair it might be worth it to talk to other parents who have children who have this and see how they get their child's hair cut. Only a suggestion. I hope you have support. I have not walked even a second in your shoes so I am only offering a suggestion.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

I've posted this in other forums but I'm looking for a variety of opinions.

My 8 yr old son is being picked on for his long hair. He's being called a girl and being told he can't play with the other NT boys. He's in a class of 7 ASD kids, so it's only at lunchtime that he is being ostracised. I'm in regular communication with his principal so I know the issue will be dealt with soon enough.

The bit I'm having trouble with is, I want to figure out a way to explain to my boy that not everyone will like him and that that's ok. I want to teach him to focus on the people he likes and that like him and not worry about everyone else.

Your son being autistic, I honestly don't know what advice to give you. Kids aren't born w/a set of instructions and each is different. Having raised 3 kids of my own, 2 boys and a girl, I struggled w/the right things to say to each of them when this type situation occurred. Being bullied by others was never a real problem for them. I do know that being a Dad who spent every free moment w/them makes me their most singular positive influence. Somehow, in those moments of uncertainty when I wanted to cry w/them and heal their tender little hearts, the right words came to me. And the right words will come to you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Well now, I'd hate to upset that little democracy. Kid needs discipline, tell him to get tough. Have his dad teach him how to kick ass. If you know he's getting his ass kicked because he's got long hair, protect him and get him a haircut. Next thing you know he's not going to want to go to school.

He doesn't have a father.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Your son being autistic, I honestly don't know what advice to give you. Kids aren't born w/a set of instructions and each is different. Having raised 3 kids of my own, 2 boys and a girl, I struggled w/the right things to say to each of them when this type situation occurred. Being bullied by others was never a real problem for them. I do know that being a Dad who spent every free moment w/them makes me their most singular positive influence. Somehow, in those moments of uncertainty when I wanted to cry w/them and heal their tender little hearts, the right words came to me. And the right words will come to you.

Jesus Christ! You make me wanna puke. Are you and mom locked in a contest to be the pussy?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Have him tell them "Up their noses w/rubber hoses".

How PC. A wop, a nigga, a jew, and a shortariican.

 

[dolf]

^^more issues than a clap clinic waiting room.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Goddamned women fuck boys up beyond fixing. When I married my wife my son still pissed his pants, and he was 3. So I took him in the bathroom and showed him how guys pee. NOW YOU TRY IT! ALL RIGHT! End of pissing problem.

And they try and fuck with them all the time. When he was headed to the Gulf War he wanted to talk to me about Vietnam. His mom had a shit fit, and I said to her, JUST WHAT IN FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO CONTRIBUTE TO WAR EXPERIENCES?

When he got married I told her, BUTT OUT AND BACK BOTH OF THEM. DONT CHOOSE SIDES IN THEIR BULLSHIT.