My 2nd story about a secretary seducing her boss...

[markphilip]

For those who might be interested, I've just written my 2nd story:

https://www.literotica.com/s/deborah-gets-her-man

Its about a secretary called Deborah, who hatches a plan to seduce her older boss.

Its written from Deborah's perspective and follows my first ever story, also written about the same couple, that some of you may have read:

https://www.literotica.com/s/working-late-at-the-office-6

Anyway, I know I still have a lot to learn as regards my storytelling, but hope you are able to forgive any rookie errors it might contain and enjoy it!

 

[DarkCobra]

Nice, do you plan on continuing the story?

 

[markphilip]

Thanks, DarkCobra, glad you enjoyed it.

I've nothing written yet, but if it doesn't get slated too bad, was thinking about doing one more chapter in their affair, this time from John's perspective.

 

[JLCC]

Having read both, the concept is interesting, but the telling of the story falls flat for me.

The one commenter mentioned mixing tenses and that is a very valid point.

This might be just me. I find the brevity makes for a dissastisfying read. It would seem that "Deborah Gets Her Man" is a fictional retelling (assuming you don't know her story). As a reader, I would have been interested in more development. Deborah obviously had been thinking about this for awhile and probably tested the waters before jumping into action. There's no tension or conflict.