My 1st Story

[B4Big_B]

Hi Friends
I have posted my first story "Breaking News".

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=386953

Please read it and comment. Your comments will be an appreciation for me.

Many Thanks

B4Big_B

 

[JackLuis]

Hi Friends
I have posted my first story "Breaking News".

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=386953

Please read it and comment. Your comments will be an appreciation for me.

Many Thanks

B4Big_B

__________________________
Showed some promise but the motivations of the characters was not fully developed and I doubted they would react like they did in the story. Dicbeliefe will only streach so far.
Jack

 

[JackLuis]

Not Bloody Likely, but close, Try again

Hi Friends
I have posted my first story "Breaking News".

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=386953

Please read it and comment. Your comments will be an appreciation for me.

Many Thanks

B4Big_B

__________________________
Showed some promise but the motivations of the characters was not fully developed and I doubted they would react like they did in the story. Disbelief will only streach so far.
Jack

 

[JackLuis]

ooops hit the send key twice

Had frauden slip

 

[Submissioness]

Had frauden slip

Um, that's Freudian Slip. As in Sigmund Freud the psychologist. And I think you used it wrong, too.


"A Freudian slip, or parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is believed to be caused by the subconscious mind.

Some errors, such as a man accidentally calling his wife by the name of another woman, seem to represent relatively clear cases of Freudian slips. In other cases, the error might appear to be trivial or bizarre, but may show some deeper meaning on analysis." - Wikipedia.

 

[Lee Chambers]

I would suggest finding an editor who can help you with your stories. There were several problems with grammar that I read.

As for the story itself, I didn't find it very believable or entertaining. It was actually kind of depressing. If you're going to write a story along the lines of a wife cheating on her husband or sleeping with another man because it turns her husband on try making it more sexy and less depressing. The whole blackmail angle was not very appealing either.

Good luck with the next story.