Sparky Kronkite
Spam Eater Extraordinare'
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2000
- Posts
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So, this is what I was thinking of….. it’s for ALL mutual partnerships of any kind – but tailored toward loving couples – as you will see.
As a couple, ‘doing things together’….. mutually sharing in a passion….. or developing a new passion for which, both of you can share – can seem to be an important matter.
A mutual hobby, a mutual passion, a mutual interest – is a desire for many ‘halves of couples.’ But when it comes to ‘making it happen as a couple,’ it can be a tricky thing.
This ‘mutual sharing’ could be in the form of a ‘pre-existing’ hobby or passion. Something that one half of the couple has already done and enjoyed - and they would bring the other half of the couple into it, to join in the fun.
This could work, sure – but it’s is a long shot. For an ‘experienced’ couple – one that’s lived with each other for a while and therefore shared in many past experiences – they would have already gone over this ground – and if there were interests there before – then they probably would have taken off and worked - already.
Or from the other direction, and this happens a bit - one half of the couple could, ‘through love’ – ‘become interested’ in an already established interest or hobby of the other half – but this too is an iffy proposition.
Why? Why are both these scenarios iffy?
Because the possibility of unequal (unbalanced) enthusiasm is great. One person could easily be more enthused than the other – and this can cause problems. So, one partner can be easily annoyed at the other – and, on ‘both sides’ of the enthusiasm equilibrium.
Examples are many. Too many to list. It could be anything. Any subject, any interest.
In the end – a ‘less enthused’ – an ‘unequal balance of desire and enthusiasm’ – could actually harm a partnership. Why?
The more enthused partner is annoyed that the other partner is less enthused – or from the other perspective, more enthused. The more enthused partner becomes disheartened in the other because they seem to, ‘drag down their own enthusiasm.’ In fact – the possibility – that both partners could ‘drop’ the interest, due to lack of enthusiasm is very possible. Essentially, this would be the ‘mutual destruction’ of any enthusiasm, on any subject, due to inequality in applying such enthusiasm and attempting to ‘force’ them into some sort of reality. Which in actuality, turns out to be a false reality.
So what do couple’s do? More importantly – what’s a couple to do - together? And most importantly of all – what’s a couple’s to do together – that can ‘bond their love and bring them together the most?’ Improving their love bond.
One at a time…..
What a couple should do ‘first and foremost’ is ‘realize and commit.’ Realize that they won’t have the same interests all the time – if ever - with the same degrees of passion. They really need to understand that concept. Then ‘they need to commit.’ Commit to each other ‘beyond’ the petty, trivial needs in each ‘individuals’ life – and ‘realize and commit’ to the knowledge that any two people are different, with different life needs – which most often manifest as hobbies, desires, interests, etc.. In other words ‘the need/desire’ for ‘shared hobbies, interests or passions,’ though great, if you can find them – is in fact trivial to the realities of what makes one happy in a ‘coupled’ life. This is of the utmost importance.
But, for couples out there - what can they do together? Well, many general ‘life things’ and maybe, just maybe – some more specific things. Generally – they can share life. Life-sharing. Life and whatever it brings. Here again it’s a ‘commitment to share’ – to share in life – ‘no matter where’ - that shared life takes you.
And, the ‘utmost important things in life to share’ as a couple – are of course the most wonderful of ‘life experiences’ – making a new life together for example. The birth and rearing of a child. Home-building for new a family. Sharing in the co-mingling of both partnered party’s families and extended families. And what is interesting here – at the core of all this – family and creating a family and sharing in it’s nurturing stuff - from beginning to end – is….. sex. And this is very important – a couple can share in their enthusiasm of ‘their own’ sex life. Sex is made for a committed couple, it’s ‘their own, little personal, fun thing,’ to share in.
Now, the rules of shared enthusiasm – as suggested above – apply to all this stuff. All this family stuff and child rearing and the sex too? The same deal applies. If one partner is less than enthusiastic than the other – or for that matter one is, ‘more enthusiastic’ than the other, than difficulties can become apparent. Annoyances will happen.
The trick is to ‘realize and commit’ beyond those trivial (yes, trivial) annoyances.
And in the end - there are only a few things a life-partnered couple can do when these petty annoyances rear their ugly heads…..
‘Discuss’ those annoyances. ‘Experiment’ to correct the annoyance of if possible. That is, if one (a couple) can be life-flexible enough to do this. ‘Attempt’ to correct it – ‘knowing it may never be corrected to your satisfaction.’ Simply - ‘couple-trying’ - to bring the enthusiasm levels to some sort of a relative equality. All this may take time of course. And it may fail too. It may never, ever happen. One partner simply may never be able to, for whatever reason, come to a relative equality on any given matter.
And that’s when the - ‘realize and commit’ rule - comes so importantly back into play. It’s the single most important rule for couples to abide by – and ‘happily’ survive.
As a couple, ‘doing things together’….. mutually sharing in a passion….. or developing a new passion for which, both of you can share – can seem to be an important matter.
A mutual hobby, a mutual passion, a mutual interest – is a desire for many ‘halves of couples.’ But when it comes to ‘making it happen as a couple,’ it can be a tricky thing.
This ‘mutual sharing’ could be in the form of a ‘pre-existing’ hobby or passion. Something that one half of the couple has already done and enjoyed - and they would bring the other half of the couple into it, to join in the fun.
This could work, sure – but it’s is a long shot. For an ‘experienced’ couple – one that’s lived with each other for a while and therefore shared in many past experiences – they would have already gone over this ground – and if there were interests there before – then they probably would have taken off and worked - already.
Or from the other direction, and this happens a bit - one half of the couple could, ‘through love’ – ‘become interested’ in an already established interest or hobby of the other half – but this too is an iffy proposition.
Why? Why are both these scenarios iffy?
Because the possibility of unequal (unbalanced) enthusiasm is great. One person could easily be more enthused than the other – and this can cause problems. So, one partner can be easily annoyed at the other – and, on ‘both sides’ of the enthusiasm equilibrium.
Examples are many. Too many to list. It could be anything. Any subject, any interest.
In the end – a ‘less enthused’ – an ‘unequal balance of desire and enthusiasm’ – could actually harm a partnership. Why?
The more enthused partner is annoyed that the other partner is less enthused – or from the other perspective, more enthused. The more enthused partner becomes disheartened in the other because they seem to, ‘drag down their own enthusiasm.’ In fact – the possibility – that both partners could ‘drop’ the interest, due to lack of enthusiasm is very possible. Essentially, this would be the ‘mutual destruction’ of any enthusiasm, on any subject, due to inequality in applying such enthusiasm and attempting to ‘force’ them into some sort of reality. Which in actuality, turns out to be a false reality.
So what do couple’s do? More importantly – what’s a couple to do - together? And most importantly of all – what’s a couple’s to do together – that can ‘bond their love and bring them together the most?’ Improving their love bond.
One at a time…..
What a couple should do ‘first and foremost’ is ‘realize and commit.’ Realize that they won’t have the same interests all the time – if ever - with the same degrees of passion. They really need to understand that concept. Then ‘they need to commit.’ Commit to each other ‘beyond’ the petty, trivial needs in each ‘individuals’ life – and ‘realize and commit’ to the knowledge that any two people are different, with different life needs – which most often manifest as hobbies, desires, interests, etc.. In other words ‘the need/desire’ for ‘shared hobbies, interests or passions,’ though great, if you can find them – is in fact trivial to the realities of what makes one happy in a ‘coupled’ life. This is of the utmost importance.
But, for couples out there - what can they do together? Well, many general ‘life things’ and maybe, just maybe – some more specific things. Generally – they can share life. Life-sharing. Life and whatever it brings. Here again it’s a ‘commitment to share’ – to share in life – ‘no matter where’ - that shared life takes you.
And, the ‘utmost important things in life to share’ as a couple – are of course the most wonderful of ‘life experiences’ – making a new life together for example. The birth and rearing of a child. Home-building for new a family. Sharing in the co-mingling of both partnered party’s families and extended families. And what is interesting here – at the core of all this – family and creating a family and sharing in it’s nurturing stuff - from beginning to end – is….. sex. And this is very important – a couple can share in their enthusiasm of ‘their own’ sex life. Sex is made for a committed couple, it’s ‘their own, little personal, fun thing,’ to share in.
Now, the rules of shared enthusiasm – as suggested above – apply to all this stuff. All this family stuff and child rearing and the sex too? The same deal applies. If one partner is less than enthusiastic than the other – or for that matter one is, ‘more enthusiastic’ than the other, than difficulties can become apparent. Annoyances will happen.
The trick is to ‘realize and commit’ beyond those trivial (yes, trivial) annoyances.
And in the end - there are only a few things a life-partnered couple can do when these petty annoyances rear their ugly heads…..
‘Discuss’ those annoyances. ‘Experiment’ to correct the annoyance of if possible. That is, if one (a couple) can be life-flexible enough to do this. ‘Attempt’ to correct it – ‘knowing it may never be corrected to your satisfaction.’ Simply - ‘couple-trying’ - to bring the enthusiasm levels to some sort of a relative equality. All this may take time of course. And it may fail too. It may never, ever happen. One partner simply may never be able to, for whatever reason, come to a relative equality on any given matter.
And that’s when the - ‘realize and commit’ rule - comes so importantly back into play. It’s the single most important rule for couples to abide by – and ‘happily’ survive.
