Mustard on a turkey sandwich

[SimonDoom]

I've had two readers criticize one of my stories because the main character put mustard on a turkey sandwich. Now, to be fair to both of these readers, they were otherwise kind to my story and said nice things about it, and I'm very appreciative of their remarks. Even so, I'm alternately amused and bemused by the comment and by other comments like these that I've received from time to time about a feature of the story I would never have thought a reader would notice.

Have you received similar kinds of comments? What's your reaction when you get them?

The nice thing is it shows they are paying attention.

And, P.S., I will defend putting mustard on almost anything, except maybe a peanut butter sandwich.

 

[TadOverdon]

https://i.imgur.com/QXsBHHe.png

 

[SimonDoom]

https://i.imgur.com/QXsBHHe.png

Some things are a matter of taste. Others are mortal sins.

I think we're in agreement.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I've always put mustard on a turkey sandwich. In fact I put mustard on every sandwich except as you noted PB&J.

Now my wife only put mayo on a turkey sandwich, but she was from Kentucky.

And I put mayo and mustard on my turkey sandwich and on a ham sandwich and a chicken sandwich, and a roast beef sandwich and a pork sandwich. And cheese on all of them. Swiss or pepper jack.

Oh one other sandwich I don't put mustard or mayo on, a grilled cheese sandwich.

 

[TxRad]

Mustard on most sandwiches, no problem. Mustard for tater tots and french fries. Mustard in potato salad. Mayo and potato chunks just screw up tater salad.

Comments seem to fall along a line according to category. Most are bonehead mistakes made by yours truly. Some call my stories too long, so I write a short one and get the opposite comment.

I love the ones that tell me to get my stories edited but the crickets chirp when I tell them to go for it and send me a copy when they are through. Ya get what ya pay for.

Comments are what comments are. YMMV.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Mustard on turkey is great. Mustard and cranberry sauce is good too.

I had a guy downvote my first story because of my username. Apparently kumquats are too sour to eat. Which is true but candied ones or kumquat marmalade are wonderful.

Also had a nice story about enjoying the English countryside. Had a guy complain about how it's a clear fantasy as you have to watch out for poison ivy, poison oak, chiggers, mosquitoes and ther things - none of which exist in England... (OK, we get the odd mosquito nowadays,but not flocks of them)

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Forgot to say - needs to be good mustard. Dijon for my personal preference.

It may have changed, but used to be American mustard was that stuff you put on hot dogs with a big fat squirt as fat as toothpaste. English mustard may look equally bright yellow but you only want a smear.

It would be cruel to give a squirty bottle of mustard to a visiting American...
Especially if you've just introduced them to Marmite.

 

[yowser]

The comments are often quite remarkable, many times it feels like you just got the first thing that popped into the head of a reader (and the insight is often - breathtaking.)

One of my few bondage/bdsm stories (which you would think meant readers with higher thresholds for extreme events) elicited this (a falcon was involved):

Leave out animals - Warn us that the story involves animals.

You never know what you need to worry about.

 

[MrPixel]

Plain ol' yellow mustard all the way for me, save the exceptions others have noted. When I used to eat hamburgers the "no mayo, add mustard" instructions flummoxed more than a few fast-food order clerks and grill operators running on autopilot. Even got into a heated argument once with a McDonalds manager refusing the request since I was asking them to violate the strict corporate formula. That was pre-Quarter Pounder days. (I walked, BTW - 40 years and counting. )

Never warmed-up to Dijon and so on; I don't really care for horseradish. Like Tx, mustard for all the potato things, 'cept baked, which is butter only... and lots o' pepper.

Somewhere around here I have my DDS degree from Poupon U. (DDS = Doctor of Diddley-Squat).

 

[Winter_Fare]

Mustard is for pussies. Horseradish aaaall the time.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I've had two readers criticize one of my stories because the main character put mustard on a turkey sandwich. Now, to be fair to both of these readers, they were otherwise kind to my story and said nice things about it, and I'm very appreciative of their remarks. Even so, I'm alternately amused and bemused by the comment and by other comments like these that I've received from time to time about a feature of the story I would never have thought a reader would notice.

Have you received similar kinds of comments? What's your reaction when you get them?

The nice thing is it shows they are paying attention.

And, P.S., I will defend putting mustard on almost anything, except maybe a peanut butter sandwich.

You may recall that I stirred up some discussion when the Gold Dollar Girls had melted cheddar on their apple pie.

 

[SimonDoom]

Mustard is for pussies. Horseradish aaaall the time.

I'm a fan of both. Horseradish mustard is excellent.

 

[KeithD]

My reaction to such minutia comments on a story usually runs along the line of "Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln," or "Would you like to contribute to the Lakota relief fund, Mrs. Custer?"

 

[jehoram]

Forgot to say - needs to be good mustard. Dijon for my personal preference.

It may have changed, but used to be American mustard was that stuff you put on hot dogs with a big fat squirt as fat as toothpaste. English mustard may look equally bright yellow but you only want a smear.

Same with Chinese mustard.

And then there's honey mustard, and brown mustard, and god knows what other kinds of mustard. And what kind of turkey are we talking about? White meat or dark meat?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Horseradish is good - my grandpa grew his own and gave my dad a couple plants, so it was always freshly grated and zingy.

Still not as hot as mustard powder.

 

[MrPixel]

Say what you will, I still don't care for horseradish.

 

[SimonDoom]

Say what you will, I still don't care for horseradish.

Works for me. There's more for those of us who do!

 

[LexxRuthless]

Well, it's not mustard on a turkey sandwich, but my very first submission on this site immediately got those sorts of "check your facts" comments. Bear in mind, this was a farcical tale about a young man who goes into a coma and wakes up with a prodigiously large dick -- and he's getting a blowjob from a nurse that brings him out of that coma. Immediately I got comments that "he would have had a catheter" and "nursing scrubs don't have buttons."

Okay, that second one made me facepalm, because my wife has a bunch of scrubs. Still, it was a surprise to me. I rarely paid attention to comments when I read other people's stories. Since that first submission, I have probably gotten two or three comments on half my stories that I would characterize as "nit-picking." Generally, other readers respond to those comments, so I know it's not just me feeling defensive. And, to be perfectly fair, most comments I get are positive reviews.

 

[yowser]

If all the 'nit-picking' comments went away, the total would diminish by a third. There'd be nothing left for a reader to do.

 

[MrPixel]

A roast beef sandwich(from Lion's Choice for the locals) with some horseradish and a little bbq sauce, perfection!
Growing up I thought Lion's Choice was lion meat. Luckily as I got older I figured out it was roast beef, not lion. Lion's Choice is so much better than Arby's. We haven't eaten at Arby's since my daughter found a piece of chewed up gum in her beef and cheddar. It wasn't a fatty piece of meat, it was stretchy...just thinking about it makes me throw up into my mouth a bit.

BBQ sauce was my preference at Lion's Choice. But alas, no more beef or pork for me. Allergic now. Turkey and chicken are the order of the day, and mustard on either! So I'll repeat:

My eew... gross... fast-food moment was finding a fingernail in my iced tea. One of many reasons I avoid drive-thru.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Dijon mustard goes on a turkey breast sandwich, certainly. For that matter so does a little hoisin sauce, applied sparingly. And I'll eat pineapple on pizza, too.

Meanwhile, there's soulless monsters out there who dip their fries in mayo. Well, better then them me.

Then again, I'd eat a rock if I was hungry enough.

Spicy mustard goes with turkey. Yellow mustard can eat a dick.

 

[MrPixel]

I would probably cry if I couldn't have beef or pork. ...

What's funny is I don't miss it that much. I used to enjoy a pub-style hamburger on occasion, but it didn't "drive" me even then. Now I will definitely miss In-and-Out on our next trip West. "Double Double" no more.

What I do miss is pepperoni pizza (but NOT that Imo's $#!+. Sorry.). Yeah, the nutrition nuts rail at pepperoni and other über-processed pork, but as long as you're not doing it but occasionally, what's the harm? I've made up for it with bell and banana peppers on my pizzas. Slightly different, but yum!

 

[JuanSeiszFitzHall]

https://i.imgur.com/QXsBHHe.png

If I recall correctly (and that's a big if), it was either Mort Sahl or Lenny Bruce who said, the way you know you're in Phoenix is, when you order a corned beef sandwich, it is served on white bread with mayo.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm pleasantly amused to have received so many responses to a thread about sandwiches on an erotic story site. This place never ceases to be entertaining.

So, slightly off topic: favorite sandwich?

It's a tough call, but I'm going to go with a reuben, followed by a Philly cheese steak.

 

[KeithD]

A Monte Christo sandwich.