Must be Tough, if You're a Republican That Likes to Suck Cock

[Seattle Zack]

Republican Idaho Legislator Arrested in a Minnesota Airport Men's Room for Soliciting Homosexual Sex.

(Could you even make up a headline like that?)

"I AM NOT GAY"
--Larry Craig, R-Idaho.

“While I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct in the Minneapolis Airport or anywhere else, I chose to plead guilty to a lesser charge in hopes of making it go away.”

Whatever, dude. My favorite, though, nevermind Foley sniffing aroung at the underage interns, has to be Republican Bob Allen from Florida. His defense? He offered a black undercover cop oral sex (and $20) because he was afraid for his life. Apparently, that's the way to defuse the brothers from their murderous rampages. Offer to suck their big black dicks:

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park." Allen said he feared he was "about to be a statistic" and resorted to the aforementioned subterfuge to escape with his life.

Well, I'll remember that next time I'm at a rest stop. Just offer a big black guy $20 to suck his cock. Problem solved.

 

[Liar]

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park." Allen said he feared he was "about to be a statistic" and resorted to the aforementioned subterfuge to escape with his life.

Yes, because implying that the random stocky and intimidating dude out there is a gay man-whore, and a cheap one at that, seems like a brilliant strategy.

 

[Lisa Denton]

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park." Allen said he feared he was "about to be a statistic" and resorted to the aforementioned subterfuge to escape with his life.

I am surprised at you Seattle Zack, you are trying to smear this guys without giving his complete defense.

"Representative Bob Allen, a Republican in the Florida House of Representatives, blamed the weather and his fear of black men for offering $20 to perform oral sex on a man in a public park. The man turned out to be an undercover police officer, who promptly arrested Allen."

Now, you can clearly see from the above quote that there is more to his defense, while he didn't elaborate, but maybe it was a cloudy day or something.

Anyways, you can clearly see that he was scared.

"Allen entered the restroom twice cruising, peeped over the stall wall at the officer and then pushed open the door to join the officer to proposition him"

Isn't this how you keep from getting robbed in restrooms? Well, maybe guys restrooms are different.

Anyways, he is at least honest.

"City of Residence:
Merritt Island
Occupation: Economic Development/Education
Spouse: Beth Elaine Allen
Child(ren): Tia
Education: Valencia Community College, A.A.
Religious Affiliation: Protestant
Recreational Interest: water sports"

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Is anyone surprised at all the gay Republicans?

I mean, they get tons of practice getting their knees dirty before rich corporate campaign contributors...

 

[Guest]

What I am surprised at is how core members of the party actually believe the spin.

No, I'm not gay. No, I didn't solicit sex! I'm not gay!!!!

Wahhhhhh!

 

[Guest]

Okay - hubby just came up with a great line.

Boy, those Republicans will do anything to get votes!

Yeah, yeah, I know.

 

[Guest]

I forget the comedian who's line this is, but he asked,

"Do Gay and Black Republicans have any idea what their party stands for?"

 

[jomar]

The guy's had 20 or so years publicly denying he's gay, go Libertarian already for crying out loud!

 

[Pure]

yep, tough to be a gay republican. i think there are many. the ones in Congress would be hypocrites.

 

[jomar]

Or, as my kids would say: Idaho? No, Youdaho!

 

[Carnevil9]

Too bad that Larry Craig isn't a Democrat. Jesse Jackson would be marching in the streets to support his civil rights already.

 

[Belegon]

Too bad that Larry Craig isn't a Democrat. Jesse Jackson would be marching in the streets to support his civil rights already.

...and Democrats that actually want to win elections would support that why?

Jesse Jackson is more hindrance than help these days. Keep him and Rev. Sharpton FAR AWAY from Barack Obama, please.

 

[shereads]

"Jiminy God!"

~ Alleged mating cry of Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho)

How do we know that Republican Senator Larry Craig is guiilty? The same way we've always known that Elvis did not fake his death-by-overdose-while-sitting-on-the-toilet: nobody would make that up. Litsters know better than most people that if you're going to invent a 3-minute erotic encounter in the airport bathroom with Republican Senator Larry Craig, your account will climax with him yelling, "I'm cummminnnggg!"

Not Jiminy God. That's "what Snuffleupagus says after sex," notes a poster at Wonkette. Way to invite a one-bomb!

No, the question is not whether Craig is guilty of the crime for which he now wishes to retract his guilty plea (because he thought it was the same as pleading no contest; his busy Senate schedule evidently doesn't put Craig in contact with many lawyers), but whether it's time to debate the meaning of hypocrisy. As we so often do, when a God-fearing, pervert-hating anti-queer Republican is caught with his pants down.

I say Senator Craig (R-Idaho) is an even bigger hypocrite than (fill in name of Republican here) whose (check one: adulterous affairs, sex with prostitutes, solicitation of 16-year-old boys, sex with transvestite in conjunction with purchase of crystal meth, sex with the lights on and the woman on top, or habit of tossing back Oxycontin like beer nuts) was a direct contradiction of his public condemnation of (check one: gay marriage, Bill Clinton, drug addicts, gay hate-crimes bill, Bill Clinton, effeminate Tele-Tubbies).

Discuss.

-------

Collectors of right-wing Republican bathroom-sex addicts will definitely wish to bone-up on state sen. Bob Allen (R-FLA).

In fairness, Allen had a believable excuse: the stranger he approached with an offer of fellatio and $20 was a big scary black man.

Zack: I sense from your post that you think Allen's defense is bogus. You might have more compassion if you were familiar with our state. Any Florida Republican would have been frightened! If Allen had just shot the fellow, he wouldn't be in nearly this much trouble.

How different America might be today, if Allen (R-FLA) had been around to influence the turbulent years of the Civil Rights Movement. If only all those angry white men had confronted their innate fear of black men by offering to fellate them instead of lynching them.

Sure, the body count would have gone up. But Mississippi Burning would have been the funniest movie ever!

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Too bad that Larry Craig isn't a Democrat. Jesse Jackson would be marching in the streets to support his civil rights already.

I would be, too. I want Larry Craig to stay in office until the end of his term.

Because his own voting base would stay home while the liberals got out the friggin vote by the truckload.

If I were running against him, I would seriously avoid ads attacking his criminal behavior. Why bother? Let his voting base abandon him, that's damage enough.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Give the guy a break. Obviously you didn't understand his statement of defense: "I have a wide stance."

In other words, he was so full of shit he had to spread his legs to get it out. As for trying to feel the Federal Guy up while searching for a dropped piece of toilet paper. That goes without saying.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

How different America might be today, if Allen (R-FLA) had been around to influence the turbulent years of the Civil Rights Movement. If only all those angry white men had confronted their innate fear of black men by offering to fellate them instead of lynching them.

Sure, the body count would have gone up. But Mississippi Burning would have been the funniest movie ever!

Falcon Studios presents: Mississippi Burning Desire.

 

[MercyMia]

Give the guy a break. Obviously you didn't understand his statement of defense: "I have a wide stance."

In other words, he was so full of shit he had to spread his legs to get it out. As for trying to feel the Federal Guy up while searching for a dropped piece of toilet paper. That goes without saying.

I laughed so hard my dog woke up

Craig must be an environmentalist. He was waving his hand under the partition between the two toilets. Maybe he didn't want to use another sheet of paper towel.

 

[3113]

Public Restroom Mysteries Revealed!

"Allen entered the restroom twice cruising, peeped over the stall wall at the officer and then pushed open the door to join the officer to proposition him"

Isn't this how you keep from getting robbed in restrooms? Well, maybe guys restrooms are different.

Well, now I have to know!

Gentlemen, I know I may be asking you to reveal long-held male secrets, but it's for the public good that we know more about these things. Otherwise, we're going to think all these white men are lying and they really are gay!

So far, on my own, I've deduced the following: "cruise twice" translates to: "I'm a weak white man. Don't hurt me" and offering $20 to suck a cock means: "I acknowledge your superior power, there is no need to kill me". I'm still confused by this latest though: running your fingers along the top (bottom?) of the stall?

Men, can you PLEASE give us some insight into the subtle mysteries of male public restrooms? What other signals can we expect to see from white conservative males to scary black males in public restrooms? Ones that indicate not "gayness" but complex male thinking and deep, important, silent communication that only occurs between guys?

We, who want to believe that these men were not just "gay" really want to understand this!

 

[jomar]

Men's bathrooms have urinals - things men pee into while standing up and not aiming. Before ads and newspaper pages on the wall in front of you you had to look at a blank wall and pretend you were thinking about sports. But if you look down at another guys *thing* while you're peeing, why, it doesn't mean your gay. Or interested in him sexually at all. It simply means you had an involuntary muscular twitch while thinking about the upcoming season. Only if it is a big black man standing next to you do you offer $20 and a BJ for reasons mentioned elsewhere.

I don't know about the hand thing. Perhaps it's colloquial.

 

[Belegon]

I personally wish to thank the Distinguished Gentleman from Idaho for demonstrating to the rest of us the heretofore secret signs.

Now I know... not sure when I'll have the desire, but it is always good to have more knowledge.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I personally wish to thank the Distinguished Gentleman from Idaho for demonstrating to the rest of us the heretofore secret signs.

Now I know... not sure when I'll have the desire, but it is always good to have more knowledge.

I never knew the secret sign of waving your hand under the stall divider thingie either.

So ............................... what is the new UNSECRET hand sign for "I ran out of toilet tissue over here"????????????

I agree Bel, while its nice to know these things, maybe its only republicans who go looking for sex in bathrooms, maybe some kind of political thing, or republican guy thing. I can tell you for a fact that in a womens restroom, even a republican hand waving under the stall wants you to put some tissue in it.

 

[Guest]

I personally wish to thank the Distinguished Gentleman from Idaho for demonstrating to the rest of us the heretofore secret signs.

Now I know... not sure when I'll have the desire, but it is always good to have more knowledge.

I'm so confused about these secret hand signals.

Are any of these, perchance, the appropriate gestures to make in such a situation?

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignals.jpg


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsqueen.jpg


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsfinger.jpg


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsbuddy.jpg

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsscary.jpg

 

[rgraham666]

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsscary.jpg

Pat. You haven't been been eating your prunes, have you?

 

[3113]

I'm so confused about these secret hand signals.

Are any of these, perchance, the appropriate gestures to make in such a situation?

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignals.jpg


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsqueen.jpg


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/handsignalsfinger.jpg
*Sigh!* These three are *LESBIAN* signs! You should know that. You're only going to see them in the girl's bathroom!

I think the guys are still holding back on us in regards to male, republican public restroom hand-signals. Come on guys! We won't tell! Show us a few signals and tell us what they mean. You don't want us thinking these guys were really gay, do you?

 

[rgraham666]

I think the guys are still holding back on us in regards to male, republican public restroom hand-signals. Come on guys! We won't tell! Show us a few signals and tell us what they mean. You don't want us thinking these guys were really gay, do you?

Sorry. Can't help you. I'm not a Republican. Not much of a guy either. Trying for man, but I have a ways to go.

Sigh. Story of my life. Always betwixt and between.