Murderer: Who me?

[xelliebabex]

Oh dear.
For those who don’t know me I tend to write in a HEA type of style. No huge dramatics just stories with a bit of plot and a bit of sex. The very first story I wrote for this site or anything since I landed on the doorstep of lit in 2011, with a laptop in hand has been an ongoing saga through two series of 10 chapters each. It has, or so I thought, a very small fan base of a few dogged readers who emailed me to remind me it was time for a new chapter every so often.

The problem is, I killed of the main protagonist in the final chapter of the 2nd series and people who read my wild imaginings have gone a bit nuts. The comments range from “How could you?” to, “Why would you?” “I am so disappointed in you.” and “Wow that was depressing/sad/awful”. The feedback mail though is quite confronting as they have not held back in their disappointment in me and are not nearly as nice as they have been in the comments. Of the 15 comments and half a dozen feedback emails three have been semi-positive.

The question is do I submit an alternative ending due to the backlash to killing off the hero and change what I had thought I might do with the little heroine in the future? Or do I ride it out happy enough with what I wrote and risk alienating the small band of fans I had before this event? I am not a great writer my grammar sucks so it’s nice to have a few regular readers that can look past that.

Thoughts? Answers? Suggestions?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Do what YOU want to do.

 

[TxRad]

Oh dear.
For those who don’t know me I tend to write in a HEA type of style. No huge dramatics just stories with a bit of plot and a bit of sex. The very first story I wrote for this site or anything since I landed on the doorstep of lit in 2011, with a laptop in hand has been an ongoing saga through two series of 10 chapters each. It has, or so I thought, a very small fan base of a few dogged readers who emailed me to remind me it was time for a new chapter every so often.

The problem is, I killed of the main protagonist in the final chapter of the 2nd series and people who read my wild imaginings have gone a bit nuts. The comments range from “How could you?” to, “Why would you?” “I am so disappointed in you.” and “Wow that was depressing/sad/awful”. The feedback mail though is quite confronting as they have not held back in their disappointment in me and are not nearly as nice as they have been in the comments. Of the 15 comments and half a dozen feedback emails three have been semi-positive.

The question is do I submit an alternative ending due to the backlash to killing off the hero and change what I had thought I might do with the little heroine in the future? Or do I ride it out happy enough with what I wrote and risk alienating the small band of fans I had before this event? I am not a great writer my grammar sucks so it’s nice to have a few regular readers that can look past that.

Thoughts? Answers? Suggestions?

My one suggestion is to see what you can do with the little heroine. Maybe she gets revenge or she figures out a way to move on with someone else. I don't know how the protag died so you have to take it where it needs to go.

My other suggestion is to say fuck it and go on to something else. Write for yourself above all else, unless someone sticks a pile of cash under your nose.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My one suggestion is to see what you can do with the little heroine. Maybe she gets revenge or she figures out a way to move on with someone else. I don't know how the protag died so you have to take it where it needs to go.

My other suggestion is to say fuck it and go on to something else. Write for yourself above all else, unless someone sticks a pile of cash under your nose.

You need some lessons in brevity.

 

[TxRad]

You need some lessons in brevity.

You have your style and I have mine.

 

[xelliebabex]

Thanks guys but if I knew what i wanted to do i wouldn't have asked. I am now in two minds even though my original decision to kill him off was inspired by the same readers in chapter 6 who bayed for his blood lol.

Shot by pissed off enemy in an ambush, made it to hospital lingered for a bit then dies, all very tragic.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Thanks guys but if I knew what i wanted to do i wouldn't have asked. I am now in two minds even though my original decision to kill him off was inspired by the same readers in chapter 6 who bayed for his blood lol.

Shot by pissed off enemy in an ambush, made it to hospital lingered for a bit then dies, all very tragic.

Then do both and sleep on it.

 

[Handley_Page]

Thanks guys but if I knew what i wanted to do i wouldn't have asked. I am now in two minds even though my original decision to kill him off was inspired by the same readers in chapter 6 who bayed for his blood lol.

Shot by pissed off enemy in an ambush, made it to hospital lingered for a bit then dies, all very tragic.

If the great Conan Doyle can find a way to resurrect the main character, I'm sure that you can manage something like it.

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

Thanks guys but if I knew what i wanted to do i wouldn't have asked. I am now in two minds even though...


Being in 2 minds you can do both- you can do as you please...

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

For what it's worth - I think the ending was powerful. Bella can go ahead and start a new set of adventures. Once the first new chapter comes out, I doubt you'll lose your fans.

On the other hand, my series CvsN was supposed to have two deaths, to bring it to a close. My beta readers gave me so much grief, I dumped the ending, which I admit was abrupt, and outlined a new one. I've not been inspired to continue the story, after wasting 2 chapters that went into the digital rubbish bin.

The difference being, I never had the readers angry at the protagonists who were to die, and the ending wasn't nearly as good.

I think you should leave it as it is, and keep moving ahead. I'm sure Bella has lots of new experiences in store, that will recapture your readers.

Good luck, whatever you do.

 

[lovecraft68]

Your stories are your babies, you raise them as you see fit.

If death is what the muse handed you, then go with it.

Understand all this backlash is a compliment. People would not be upset if you did not do a great job and get them invested.

Also keep in mind you don't get paid here. If you had a major book deal and the publisher was saying "Well, maybe you should end it this way:" and there's $$$ involved maybe you consider it, but compromising here is pointless.

I caught some flak in the opposite manner. My SWB series was a long depressing train wreck and everyone was prepared for it to end badly.

I "faked" the death of the two characters in a dream sequence(and had lied in my authors note saying last chapter to get them to totally buy it)

I did that to give the ending expected. Then in the next chapter it ended happily and I had several people telling me I "wussed out"

Can't please them all. Ever.

 

[StrangeLife]

J. K. Rowling killed off Dumbledore and Agatha Christie killed Hercule Poirot. Writers do that kind of thing sometimes if it fits the story.

Of course Sir Arthur Conan Doyle killed Sherlock Holmes and later caved in to pressure and revived him...

 

[xelliebabex]

For what it's worth - I think the ending was powerful. Bella can go ahead and start a new set of adventures. Once the first new chapter comes out, I doubt you'll lose your fans.

On the other hand, my series CvsN was supposed to have two deaths, to bring it to a close. My beta readers gave me so much grief, I dumped the ending, which I admit was abrupt, and outlined a new one. I've not been inspired to continue the story, after wasting 2 chapters that went into the digital rubbish bin.

The difference being, I never had the readers angry at the protagonists who were to die, and the ending wasn't nearly as good.

I think you should leave it as it is, and keep moving ahead. I'm sure Bella has lots of new experiences in store, that will recapture your readers.

Good luck, whatever you do.

Thank you so much for reading the final chapter and the nice things you said. So much appreciated. I worry that if I try to invest my limited writing time in rewriting it that i will be banging my head against a wall as i already in my mind said goodbye to him. But its hard to take so many commentators that clearly state how disappointed in me they were, like this one:

"A rewrite is required
I really think you need to rethink your ending. This ending has made me feel like I wasted my time getting to know these characters and their relationship as it went nowhere. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in this story. At the very least if he was going to die the women he truly loved should have been at his side.
If time was needed to do justice to this story you should have taken it. It feels like you pulled the plug because you couldn't be bothered anymore, and left followers of this story high and dry."

Your stories are your babies, you raise them as you see fit.

If death is what the muse handed you, then go with it.

Understand all this backlash is a compliment. People would not be upset if you did not do a great job and get them invested.

Also keep in mind you don't get paid here. If you had a major book deal and the publisher was saying "Well, maybe you should end it this way:" and there's $$$ involved maybe you consider it, but compromising here is pointless.

I caught some flak in the opposite manner. My SWB series was a long depressing train wreck and everyone was prepared for it to end badly.

I "faked" the death of the two characters in a dream sequence(and had lied in my authors note saying last chapter to get them to totally buy it)

I did that to give the ending expected. Then in the next chapter it ended happily and I had several people telling me I "wussed out"

Can't please them all. Ever.

Thank you LC I had consoled myself with the readers being invested after the first few comments and emails and its nice to know they were invested and I suppose that's where my problem lies. Its that i don't want to lose the few readers i have by alienating them with one chapter that was badly received.

The flip side of that is that I tend to be a bit of a wuss and let myself get steamrolled into things. I worry that an alternate ending just wouldn't take this story where i saw it going when and if i continue it down the track a bit.

 

[xelliebabex]

If the great Conan Doyle can find a way to resurrect the main character, I'm sure that you can manage something like it.

J. K. Rowling killed off Dumbledore and Agatha Christie killed Hercule Poirot. Writers do that kind of thing sometimes if it fits the story.

Of course Sir Arthur Conan Doyle killed Sherlock Holmes and later caved in to pressure and revived him...

Its not if I could revive him or in this case not have him die at all but recover, its whether I should, Sherlock my character wasn't. lol.

Thank you both for the suggestions though

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Thank you so much for reading the final chapter and the nice things you said. So much appreciated. I worry that if I try to invest my limited writing time in rewriting it that i will be banging my head against a wall as i already in my mind said goodbye to him. But its hard to take so many commentators that clearly state how disappointed in me they were, like this one:

"A rewrite is required
I really think you need to rethink your ending. This ending has made me feel like I wasted my time getting to know these characters and their relationship as it went nowhere. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm very disappointed in this story. At the very least if he was going to die the women he truly loved should have been at his side.
If time was needed to do justice to this story you should have taken it. It feels like you pulled the plug because you couldn't be bothered anymore, and left followers of this story high and dry."





Thank you LC I had consoled myself with the readers being invested after the first few comments and emails and its nice to know they were invested and I suppose that's where my problem lies. Its that i don't want to lose the few readers i have by alienating them with one chapter that was badly received.

The flip side of that is that I tend to be a bit of a wuss and let myself get steamrolled into things. I worry that an alternate ending just wouldn't take this story where i saw it going when and if i continue it down the track a bit.

Shit or get off the pot.

 

[xelliebabex]

Shit or get off the pot.

Love you too JBJ

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Love you too JBJ

Look! You can do both. Dickens did it with Great Expectations.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

As for changing the ending of your story Xellie, I'll echo what other's said about being true to your muse and add this: I've made "mistakes" in my stories. I've chased down pathways that had me wondering "Where the fuck am I?" If you consider those readers as "beta" readers, does it give you a different, better, stronger ending? If so, write that and be happy that Literotica allows editing after posting.

 

[MSTarot]

I have a story where I get terrible comments about the beginning. They want me to change it because I killed off so much of the family at the very start. That was the point of me doing it. It was meant to have a tragic start to get the reader to empathize with the main character.


depressing
05/29/12 By: Anonymous
i stopped half way down the first page why continue after the writer kills off the parents, sister and girlfriend. you just wasted your time our time and the sites space this belongs in the NONEROTIC area. if i wanted to get depressed i would watch the news, read the paper or watch a reality show.


And that's one of the better ones. I've been called every name in the book but those don't get to stay. I will not be cussed in my own comments.

The story currently has a 4.50 score so I'm not going to change a thing.

What you have to ask yourself is this.

Are 'you' happy with the story? With it's ending (or in my case the beginning) as you wrote it?

Are 'you' okay with the score?

Can 'you' live with comments like the ones your getting for years to come? I still get some on this story about every two months give or take.

The readers will read the story, love every bit of it, then beg for more. When they see that kind of ending they go "Damn it it's over! But I wanted more!"

Like LC said they are paying you a compliment when they take the time to make those comments.



by Anon;
pure stupidity. what in the hell made you think this would be erotic? GARBAGE!!! unless your blind and can't read it.




Just what compliment I was being payed here though I don't know.


MST

 

[3113]

Don't Throw Characters Away

I'll be one of the first here to go against the support tide of "it's your muse..." Yes, it's your baby, yes, and you can raise it as you see fit. But when we look around at how people are rising their babies, what do we usually say? "They raised them as they saw fit?" OR "Why didn't they think about what was best for the child?"

See, that's where the "it's your muse" rah-rah-rah! doesn't ring true for me. My mantra isn't "it's my muse." My mantra is "what's best for the story?" And frankly, we writers sometimes get it wrong. Especially on a site like this where we rush to write it all up and post. We write. We post. And then we get the fall-out and maybe the readers are wrong. But if they were, as you say, why would you be conflicted? Why would they be so overwhelmingly in agreement that they're let down? Not "moved to tears of sadness" but disappointed in the writer? Dumbledore was hard for Harry readers, but he lasted through something like six books and I don't think readers felt they'd wasted their time. Nor Hercule Pirot given how many murders he solved. Did your hero last long enough? Did he die well enough?

That's an important factor. Dying well. Do you remember Star Trek: Next Gen when they murdered off Tasha Yar? Fans were hugely upset. Not because she died, but because she died so poorly and badly. The writers wanted to get across some sort of "everyone dies meaninglessly" message. But viewers felt cheated. And they were. Readers are giving you something precious--their time and love for your writing. Don't cheat the readers. It doesn't do right by them or your story. Or your muse come to that.

And in the end, what did Star Trek do? They did an alternate universe where she could die well. Not live, just die well. And guess what? That satisfied everyone. Even the character

You and the reader have a contract. And the reader feels you broke that. So. Let's consider for a moment that the readers may be right. And if so, why not give them a twist and make them feel better about the time they gave your story? Your hero wasn't really killed. It was a set up to make him seem like he was killed and he's gone into hiding. Or, hell, do what Soaps do in such cases. Bring in his long-lost twin brother. Readers aren't always right and rarely want characters to die. But writers aren't always right either, and often kill off characters for bad reasons (like Sherlock Holmes there). The question isn't what your muse says or your readers, but what's right for the story.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Readers? Go fuck yourselves.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've been reading comic books for over 35 years. Comics have taught me that it does not matter how convincing a death is, someone can be brought back with a believable reason why.

And if the reason is not believable its still okay, because the emotional attachment to the character will allow your readers to forgive your unrealistic explanation, they're just happy their favorite is back

But the question here is should someone bring someone back by reader request?

Yes, if you look back on your own and say "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have done that, then that's fine. You're still controlling your story"

But to go the route of "People are upset" and change things doesn't fly for me.

I am one of those people who truly believe that my story writes itself through me. I am but a vehicle for either a "muse" or just my subconscious creative talent. How it ends is how it ends. No regrets.

Caving to yourself is one thing. Caving to people (on a FREE) site is another.

Its nice to get good feedback and approval, but how much do we really need it? Enough to compromise our stories?

If that's the case, then start doing reader polls in your story.

If you think Joe should live text Joe Live....

If you think Joe should stay with Jen and not Nancy text....

 

[DG Hear]

I have written a few stories with alternate endings and the some readers do not seem to like it. It's your story and it should end the way you conceived it.

The reason I wrote alternate endings was because; first, I was new and not sure what I wanted to do after reciving pressure from readers. The second reason is I wasn't happy with the way I ended the story so I gave it an alternate ending.

It's your story, you need to please yourself first.
Hope tis helps.
DG Hear

 

[3113]

Is that a Muse in your head, or are you just too lazy to rewrite?

But the question here is should someone bring someone back by reader request?

No, the question is, "Are the readers right?" We'll agree that readers should not dictate where a story goes--but a writer shouldn't ignore all feedback as if readers are always wrong and "dictating" to them. Writing is not a democracy, but it is a contract between reader and writer. That contract being, "Read my stuff, I won't disappoint you."

Yes, if you look back on your own and say "Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have done that, then that's fine. You're still controlling your story"

Agreed.

But to go the route of "People are upset" and change things doesn't fly for me.

Depends on what they're upset about. Upset about a character dying is one thing. Upset because the writer wasted their time (threw away the character for no good reason) is another.

I am but a vehicle for either a "muse" or just my subconscious creative talent. How it ends is how it ends. No regrets.

Which is fine if you're also ready to have no readers. Which, I'm sure you are because you're that kind of maverick. Of course, on a free site you'll always get readers so, as you say, who cares? Why cave? Maybe because one day that free work (or some other of yours) will be published and you want your readers to follow you into that pay-for-it world? That's what happened to my stuff here. If readers here don't trust you, they won't follow you. And in an internet world, the word will get around of whether you ought to be read or not.

But here's the point: I've seen too many writers who say "I am a vehicle for my muse" and what it really means is that they're convinced every decision is "genius" and not to be reconsidered or touched. And you know Lovecraft--you KNOW that's problematic. I'm sure you've read enough comics where the writer was so popular that he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. So you must know that writers who get to do exactly what they want, no editors, no feedback, don't always create works of genius--or avoid doing something dreadful.

Sometimes, yes. But too often, no. Too often what we learn is, "gosh, this guy really needs an editor...." or even, "this guy need to listen to his fans." Which is why, IMHO, We really need to be careful with that belief that "My muse knows best"--because too often it's used as an excuse to avoid changing what we know should be changed but are too lazy to change (too much work), or admitting that we made a really bad mistake.

 

[lovecraft68]

I had no readers.

I wrote a brother/sister incest series. You know incest? My last brother sister one shot got 1700 votes. Darknicaid's contest entry has 2k we're talking a big audience here.

My chapters were lucky to see 100 votes. Know why?

My baby, my way. The series was a BDSM crossover that featured sexual abuse, child abuse, drug abuse, mental illness, and a lot of violence.

Every time I would look at the lists I would see every other Bro/sis story with five times or more the votes and comments I had.

Should I have stopped? Should I have re envisioned the series, backed off my vision?

Nope, just kept going and maybe I only had a 100 votes and 20 or so comments, but my fans were fiercely loyal and my private feedback was fantastic including many people saying they forgot the series was incest because I had them so invested in the characters

So end of the day my series "flopped" audience why because I dared to be different and not serve up the same bubble gum "sis was hot, why not" crap.

Hell I had to remove the 5 part finale after lit banned 2 of the chapters for sheer violence.

I wrote it my way and some loved it most hated it. I slept just fine and at the end was happy with the series as it stood.

Good and popular usually do not go hand and hand. Look no firther than 50 shades of gray and justin bieber.