Multiple Spouses/Partners

[bristolbabcock]

Good for you

I hope you and your husband and wife are well and happy, don't let jealousy or intolerance get into your way of enjoying your lives together, love each other and your children and remember that your type of relationship was normal many years ago in other countries, and probably is legal in some to this day.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

I hope you and your husband and wife are well and happy, don't let jealousy or intolerance get into your way of enjoying your lives together, love each other and your children and remember that your type of relationship was normal many years ago in other countries, and probably is legal in some to this day.

Thank you for your kind words and intelligence on the matter. It really does make a difference

 

[Pairaclities]

I actually am thinking more and more that this world would be a whole lot better place if men and women only stayed together for 5 years.
After that, people would hook up with another person for 5 years and so on.

A new meaning for The Great Rotation.

 

[twister947]

Beautiful.

My lover and I are drifting in the direction of polyandry...no idea where the road will take us.

 

[PuttingOutFires]

Rozalin,
I shall stand up and applaud you....Unfortunately our messed up Society seems to feel that they should dictate what is the norm and what isn't....what is right and what is wrong....While they themselves for the most part live unfulfilled and unsatisfactory lives.
It's the case of if......I'm unhappy then you should be unhappy. But you three have risen above this pettiness and created a loving and fulfilling world into which you shall raise your children.
It won't be easy since you will always be judged by someone else's standards, but if you persevere.....perhaps you can change they're opinions....roll the rock down the snow covered mountain and by the time it gets to the bottom it will be a huge snowball.
I lived a conventional life with a wonderful wife before cancer took her away from me much to early....but we raised 4 beautiful children.....all professionals now...and it's because they lived in a loving environment....that's the key ingredient.
I mention this because our youngest son is gay and had to endure much to get where he is at....His partner is wonderful and he's just another son for me to love. They are both very successful, but it is a daily struggle.....they thrive in the adversity.
I hope someday we can shed away our prejudices....but until then, enjoy your life and to hell with the rest.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Rozalin,
I shall stand up and applaud you....Unfortunately our messed up Society seems to feel that they should dictate what is the norm and what isn't....what is right and what is wrong....While they themselves for the most part live unfulfilled and unsatisfactory lives.
It's the case of if......I'm unhappy then you should be unhappy. But you three have risen above this pettiness and created a loving and fulfilling world into which you shall raise your children.
It won't be easy since you will always be judged by someone else's standards, but if you persevere.....perhaps you can change they're opinions....roll the rock down the snow covered mountain and by the time it gets to the bottom it will be a huge snowball.
...

What a pant-load.

 

[BotanyBoy]

It greatly increases the number if inlaws one will have.

Orphans only club problem solved.

I have witnessed two relationships of this kind - except with two husbands and one wife - and both blew up after a short while. So I'm quite sure that maintaining this type of arrangement isn't a trivial matter.

Good for you that you have found a way to make it work for you...

Really depends on the people man. Is someone in the group prone to blowing up and acting like a fucking 4 y/o all the time?? Or is everyone a fucking adult with a grip on what they got into and how to handle it?

More people = less autonomy.....that's like relationship LAW.

If everyone's got a grip, is rational and capable of dealing with "You can't get it your way all the fucking time, that's just not how this shit works."....I have seen that build into a concrete bunker of a family. But it takes a lot of planning, communication and compromise on EVERYONE's part. You can't just go about something like that haphazardly and expect anything short of a colossal failure.

Probably not massively widespread but a lot more commonplace than is generally believed, I reckon.

A lot of lifestyles are that way.

 

[Mick2150]

Polyamory - a realistic alternative ...

More and more people are reaching the conclusion that the 'cultural default', the dogma that so many of us grew up in and accepted on the assumption that there was no alternative, really isn't working any more.

With divorce rates above 50% - and that does not include those that are living in unhappy & unfulfilled relationships, nor those that are choosing to live a life of subterfuge & cheating in a relationship that lacks openness, honesty & transparency, discovering & exploring the option of Polyamory can be a huge relief.

In the past 10 years, discussion of the pro's & con's of a Poly lifestyle has gained substantial traction. Increasingly, and on an international basis, main stream media is now choosing to treat Polyamory as a serious subject, an honest alternative to the failing 'dream' of 'a white picket fence, until death do us part'.

But to be fair, Poly is not for everyone; in the same way that Monogamy clearly doesn't work for everyone. There is no right or wrong - it has to be the decision of each individual. However, to be able to reach a realistic conclusion that is right for 'me' personally, takes work. Given time & effort, it is possible to arrive at a realistic conclusion that a Poly life might be workable. It also helps if one chooses to address this very personal challenge with an open mind ....

Mr Google will help! If one is so inclined, do some research. There are all manner of resources. One that I use to keep up with how the Poly world is developing, is Polyamory in the Media - google it & it should come up near the top of your search.

I certainly applaud you, Roz for starting this thread and sharing what is working for you and your family - so happy to hear about the twins! BTW, happy to PM if you are interested; however, you should realise you will be in touch with a 70+ year old, great grandfather!!

 

[Rozalin_0123]

"Don't you guys ever feel jealous?" Is the most common thing I'm asked. We don't have jealousy issues. Never have. We believe that the key to any relationship, weither it be mono or poly, is honesty. It is the very foundation that any relationship is built upon. With honesty comes communication, how can you be fully honest while not communicating how you feel? A lot of people are afraid to be completely honest in their relationship because they fear consequence. Even I was guilty of this when I came out to my husband about being bi-sexual. I was afraid he would leave me. Thankfully he didn't. I've talked to at least two women from Lit since writing my story that didn't have such a positive outcome. Their husbands left them, even though they never once cheated on them, their husbands felt their marriage was a fraud. My heart goes out to those women and to those who still struggle with having the courage to come out and be who they really are.

Thank you everyone who has shown their support in this thread as well as for reading my story. If you haven't read it yet, there is a link in my bio.

 

[dg]

Dear Rozalin,

I read your original post and sympathize with your inability to conceive with your husband. As your wife has been successfully impregnated I would suggest that you try a creamy scissor. This is a maneuver in which after your husband ejaculates inside of your wife she presses her vagina against yours with a downwards angle allowing the semen to flow into you. You may have a chemical imbalance causing the sperm not to take to your lady tubes, but this could alleviate the problem.

 

[Noor]

Dear Rozalin,

I read your original post and sympathize with your inability to conceive with your husband. As your wife has been successfully impregnated I would suggest that you try a creamy scissor. This is a maneuver in which after your husband ejaculates inside of your wife she presses her vagina against yours with a downwards angle allowing the semen to flow into you. You may have a chemical imbalance causing the sperm not to take to your lady tubes, but this could alleviate the problem.

I am not understanding how that would help, could you please explain?

 

[BotanyBoy]

I am not understanding how that would help, could you please explain?

http://www.datgif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/sloth-only-dreams-now.gif

 

[girlsmiley]

Dear Rozalin,

I read your original post and sympathize with your inability to conceive with your husband. As your wife has been successfully impregnated I would suggest that you try a creamy scissor. This is a maneuver in which after your husband ejaculates inside of your wife she presses her vagina against yours with a downwards angle allowing the semen to flow into you. You may have a chemical imbalance causing the sperm not to take to your lady tubes, but this could alleviate the problem.

Bro, do you even science?

 

[girlsmiley]

Roz, I'm happy for you.

 

[werdsmith]

It sounds like you are doing just fine without anyone's approval. Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[dg]

I am not understanding how that would help, could you please explain?

So it works like this. Inside of a vagina is a chemical that sperm are both attracted to and sustain themselves on. If this chemical doesn't exist in the proper balance and appeal to the sperm properly they will reject it and immediately die. Once the sperm are coated in the chemical they are ok with a slightly inferior version. This is similar to how as a night goes on you find yourself more and more ok with drinking Bud Light.

So because her wife was able to get pregnant by her husband it indicates that the inside of her vagina has the proper type of this chemical for her husbands sperm. All she has to do is get them coated in it and then have the sperm go inside of her where it will attack her egg with a vengeance.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

So it works like this. Inside of a vagina is a chemical that sperm are both attracted to and sustain themselves on. If this chemical doesn't exist in the proper balance and appeal to the sperm properly they will reject it and immediately die. Once the sperm are coated in the chemical they are ok with a slightly inferior version. This is similar to how as a night goes on you find yourself more and more ok with drinking Bud Light.

So because her wife was able to get pregnant by her husband it indicates that the inside of her vagina has the proper type of this chemical for her husbands sperm. All she has to do is get them coated in it and then have the sperm go inside of her where it will attack her egg with a vengeance.

While I appreciate your insight and willingness to help on the subject, I don't see that helping with my condition. I have PCOS and in my case, I don't ovulate. You can find all sorts of information here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome

The main problem with this condition is that its symptoms vary so much from woman to woman that it is hard to come up with any kind of treatment. I'm happy with my life so I figure, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I have no regrets.

 

[3somewife]

My husband and I live the poly life style. Right now we are searching a third for our triad. My husband is bi I am not. Searching for the right person is difficult. Most guys we meet just want sex with me and try to get me alone with them, its frustrating trying to find someone who understands what we are looking for. I don't openly talk about our lifestyle, but I don't hide it either. We have tried to conceives as well, but I have pcos and diabetes. I was diagnosed in my early 20's. I am 38 now. I too feel like if it happens it happens.

 

[Skiddles2014]

What's next?

Marrying your poodle?

 

[pete]

I am a 33 year old female who lives a particular taboo livestyle. I have two spouses, a husband and a wife. We live together, share our bed together, and we are completely happy with each other. From a legal standpoint, I'm only married to my husband, but we had a ceremony performed in which the three of us were married together. Means nothing on paper, but to us it's everything.

A little over a year ago, my wife gave birth to a set of twins, a boy and a girl. My husband and I tried for years to conceive but I never could. Doctors diagnosed me with PCOS when I was 22. I love them as my own children, because to me they are.

I originally came to Lit because of all the people who think outside the box when it comes to sex. It's been a nice escape from a world that not only hates on you for being bi-sexual, but also because of having two lovers. "That's not love, that's lust" they say, who the fuck are you to tell me how I feel? I dread the days when my kids get older, having to grow up in a intolerant world. Thankfully, they have 3 loving parents that will do everything to see that live a happy, healthy, and meaningful life.

Despite Lit's community having a broad range of sexual perferences, I find it odd that a lot of the time when I mention I have multiple spouses while chatting with someone the conversation stops right there. On a site where incest, bdsm, furrys, and homosexuality are the norm, why is polygamy such a deal breaker?

So I started this thread in the hopes of maybe finding others who live this sort of lifestyle. Not necessarily exactly the same as me, but mostly multiple partners where everyone knows about each other and are perfectly happy with it.

poly's cool with me.
sometimes i wish the wife was open to the idea. but then again sometimes i feel like i don't have enough alone time with my own thoughts, so i guess 1 partner at a time is all i can handle! heh

 

[xrxomcyd]

"Don't you guys ever feel jealous?" Is the most common thing I'm asked. We don't have jealousy issues. Never have. We believe that the key to any relationship, weither it be mono or poly, is honesty. It is the very foundation that any relationship is built upon. With honesty comes communication, how can you be fully honest while not communicating how you feel? A lot of people are afraid to be completely honest in their relationship because they fear consequence. Even I was guilty of this when I came out to my husband about being bi-sexual. I was afraid he would leave me. Thankfully he didn't. I've talked to at least two women from Lit since writing my story that didn't have such a positive outcome. Their husbands left them, even though they never once cheated on them, their husbands felt their marriage was a fraud. My heart goes out to those women and to those who still struggle with having the courage to come out and be who they really are.

Thank you everyone who has shown their support in this thread as well as for reading my story. If you haven't read it yet, there is a link in my bio.

I have never understood jealousy, for me it smacked of possession. In my first relationship, I made it clear to my girlfriend that in the phrase "my girlfriend", the "my" was a referential and relational pronoun, but not "possessive" pronoun. I was not thinking poly at all those days, but in retrospect if she had had a desire for that kind of relationship (bisexual or not), I believe I would have supported it. I certainly would now.

The key, as you say, is honesty. Honesty with others, and honesty with yourself. As long as you have that, I do not see why such mutually-consented and loving relationships cannot be beautiful; indeed, I certainly find that they are. Your story has been the most beautiful love story I have read in a while. I am so glad it is true, and that you chose to share it. I certainly hope you and those like you find more and more support and acceptance as the years go on, and I certainly have your back. Thank you again for sharing.

 

[StrangeLife]

Really depends on the people man. Is someone in the group prone to blowing up and acting like a fucking 4 y/o all the time?? Or is everyone a fucking adult with a grip on what they got into and how to handle it?

More people = less autonomy.....that's like relationship LAW.

If everyone's got a grip, is rational and capable of dealing with "You can't get it your way all the fucking time, that's just not how this shit works."....I have seen that build into a concrete bunker of a family. But it takes a lot of planning, communication and compromise on EVERYONE's part. You can't just go about something like that haphazardly and expect anything short of a colossal failure.



A lot of lifestyles are that way.

The problem is, that striking a perfect balance all the time is almost impossible. Sooner or later you will face a "Sophies choice" where one partner is bound to be hurt because of the other one. Consequently most poly-families I've encountered had a set of "primary partners" - usually the two that was legally married - who had veto-right and whose relationship took preference in the even of a crisis.

Genuine poly-relationships are very rare I think...

 

[GimpyIntellect]

What happens if, god forbid, everyone wants to go their own way? You have no legal rights to ever see the kids?

You're on the outside looking in.

That's a scary thought.

I wish you the best. I've got no problem with it.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

What happens if, god forbid, everyone wants to go their own way? You have no legal rights to ever see the kids?

You're on the outside looking in.

That's a scary thought.

I wish you the best. I've got no problem with it.

Believe me it has ran through my mind more than a few times. I've let them both know that it is my biggest fear in all of this. At then end of the discussion we agreed that in the event such a thing came to pass that no one would be left out of our kid's life because it wouldn't be fair the them. We love the kids and agreed that we could put any differences aside for their sake.

I don't see it happening but I'm not so gullible that I don't see it as a possibility. That's why I do everything in my power to keep everyone happy and maintain an open an honest marriage.

 

[maxwellhouse12]

I loved your story……The fact that you are where you are today is a testament to your fortitude. Everything that each of you has been through together and separately has lead you to where you are today. I applaud each of you and wish you all the best moving forward. I hope everything works out for the best. I love when the masses can be proven wrong!