Multiple Spouses/Partners

[Noor]

Relationships are complicated. The ideal would be someone who encompasses a connection of mind, body and soul.
It's strange when you find a body and mind person who has not yet captured your soul and then another who captures your mind and soul but not yet your body. I say keep them both if you can
I think people jump away too quickly because some things take time with familiarity and every interaction is different even if one person remains the same.

 

[Plasmaball]

You guys are going to hell....

 

[Phelia]

Ehh... no.

Cool. Thank you for your thoughtful contribution.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Originally Posted by Phelia View Post

The really weird part is that we'll cheer on and glorify shows like The Bachelor ...

Ehh... no.

Exactly.

 

[lovetoread]

I'm down with joining a commune with Phelia.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

You guys are going to hell....

We'll see you there

 

[bronzeage]

It greatly increases the number if inlaws one will have.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

Relationships are complicated. The ideal would be someone who encompasses a connection of mind, body and soul.
It's strange when you find a body and mind person who has not yet captured your soul and then another who captures your mind and soul but not yet your body. I say keep them both if you can
I think people jump away too quickly because some things take time with familiarity and every interaction is different even if one person remains the same.

You are so correct on relationships are complicated, mine is no exception. How our relationship came to be is a very long complex story, one I'm currently writing about and hope to have published soon. It took a lot of good things as well as some bad things for us to have come this far. It certainly didn't happen overnight, more like the course of 15 years. I've known my wife since high school and I've been married to my husband for 12 years. We have been married together for 3 years. Considering how long most relationships last these days, I don't think we're doing too bad

When I get down to it, they both capture me completely, body, mind, and soul. Its just in diffferent ways that I cannot do without.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

You are so correct on relationships are complicated, mine is no exception. How our relationship came to be is a very long complex story, one I'm currently writing about and hope to have published soon. It took a lot of good things as well as some bad things for us to have come this far. It certainly didn't happen overnight, more like the course of 15 years. I've known my wife since high school and I've been married to my husband for 12 years. We have been married together for 3 years. Considering how long most relationships last these days, I don't think we're doing too bad

When I get down to it, they both capture me completely, body, mind, and soul. Its just in diffferent ways that I cannot do without.

These lifestyles and situations that lead into them, I think the best ones always happen organically and are sculpted over time. It's easy to create this world lickety-split in fantasy, but you can't write scripts for other human beings. Takes work, faith, time and love. And a whole lotta good sex!

Kudos for making it work for you. Also good on you for finding compatible people who want it with each other — finding the right peg pieces that fit the holes best is hard — and to make it work for them as much as you do for you. Don't hold anything back in that story now, make it juicy!

 

[Rozalin_0123]

These lifestyles and situations that lead into them, I think the best ones always happen organically and are sculpted over time. It's easy to create this world lickety-split in fantasy, but you can't write scripts for other human beings. Takes work, faith, time and love. And a whole lotta good sex!

Kudos for making it work for you. Also good on you for finding compatible people who want it with each other — finding the right peg pieces that fit the holes best is hard — and to make it work for them as much as you do for you. Don't hold anything back in that story now, make it juicy!

Thank you so much for your kind words and honesty

 

[Liar]

Polygamy is a logistics challenge. With a logarithmic difficulty curve.

And one person and it's three relationships. Add one more and it's six. If you got it figured out then kudos. Most people tend to be overwhelmed by only one.

 

[Saint Peter]

It sounds expensive.

 

[girlsmiley]

It greatly increases the number if inlaws one will have.

Imagine Christmas. OMG.

It sounds expensive.

And this.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

It greatly increases the number if inlaws one will have.

I could see it as a problem for some. In our case, I have no family. My mother died during childbirth and I was an only child. My father became an alcholic because of my mother's passing and eventually succumbed to liver cancer. My husband's family disowned him when they found out about the twins. They are die hard conservatives with absolutely no tolerance for anything. I feel bad for him but he says he's better off. My wife's family are the ones we socialize with. They have been great people ever since I've known them.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

It sounds expensive.

Not at all! Me and my husband work while she stays home with the kids. Two incomes + no daycare = profit.

 

[*HeadlessBarbie]

Two is company, Three is a crowd.

 

[kilkennycpl]

Why do you need a bunch of strangers to validate your lifestyle? as long as you all are happy whats the difference

 

[Debbie]

I don't have a problem with your lifestyle at all. As long as it is a healthy and happy relationship then that is what is important.


I do understand why some feel uncomfortable because they don't agree with this sort of lifestyle or are misinformed.

There is also a lot of negativity about polygamy cults and I think that is another reason why people are concerned or wary.

If I wasn't geared to be a monogamist I would have loved to have been a part of this sort of arrangement and raise children this way. With a lot of love and family support.

 

[StrangeLife]

I have witnessed two relationships of this kind - except with two husbands and one wife - and both blew up after a short while. So I'm quite sure that maintaining this type of arrangement isn't a trivial matter.

Good for you that you have found a way to make it work for you...

 

[IrezumiKiss]

It would be interesting to know how many fully functioning, healthy and long-term triads, quads and quints (or more, if possible) are currently going on in one's city or town. Not just for sex or play, but those serious, deep-dish, nitty-gritty relationships.

Probably not massively widespread but a lot more commonplace than is generally believed, I reckon. I remember reading news of a longtime commune here in NYC based in Staten Island some years back...I think some of the established senior members got down with each other for a spell and also tried to get some of the accepted incoming into it as well...but sometimes that didn't really gel and made some problems, which led to them getting written up. Wish I could remember the exact article and specifics of the commune.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Every generation devoutly believes it REALLY knows.

Yet traditions and conventional wisdom persist across endless centuries. There's nothing new under the Sun.

 

[muycurioso]

if you are happy

then what else matters?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I am a 33 year old female who lives a particular taboo livestyle. I have two spouses, a husband and a wife. We live together, share our bed together, and we are completely happy with each other. From a legal standpoint, I'm only married to my husband, but we had a ceremony performed in which the three of us were married together. Means nothing on paper, but to us it's everything.

A little over a year ago, my wife gave birth to a set of twins, a boy and a girl. My husband and I tried for years to conceive but I never could. Doctors diagnosed me with PCOS when I was 22. I love them as my own children, because to me they are.

I originally came to Lit because of all the people who think outside the box when it comes to sex. It's been a nice escape from a world that not only hates on you for being bi-sexual, but also because of having two lovers. "That's not love, that's lust" they say, who the fuck are you to tell me how I feel? I dread the days when my kids get older, having to grow up in a intolerant world. Thankfully, they have 3 loving parents that will do everything to see that live a happy, healthy, and meaningful life.

Despite Lit's community having a broad range of sexual perferences, I find it odd that a lot of the time when I mention I have multiple spouses while chatting with someone the conversation stops right there. On a site where incest, bdsm, furrys, and homosexuality are the norm, why is polygamy such a deal breaker?

So I started this thread in the hopes of maybe finding others who live this sort of lifestyle. Not necessarily exactly the same as me, but mostly multiple partners where everyone knows about each other and are perfectly happy with it.

I think that the only thing that matters is love and if the three of you want to be married, you should be married.

Putting a number on the number of partners in a marriage flies in the face of recorded human history and tradition. Too bad the gay community has ruined it for everybody by insisting that it be only two people.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

It would be interesting to know how many fully functioning, healthy and long-term triads, quads and quints (or more, if possible) are currently going on in one's city or town. Not just for sex or play, but those serious, deep-dish, nitty-gritty relationships.

Probably not massively widespread but a lot more commonplace than is generally believed, I reckon. I remember reading news of a longtime commune here in NYC based in Staten Island some years back...I think some of the established senior members got down with each other for a spell and also tried to get some of the accepted incoming into it as well...but sometimes that didn't really gel and made some problems, which led to them getting written up. Wish I could remember the exact article and specifics of the commune.

The most common of these types of relationships is probably in the form of Fundimentalist Mormons. These types of arrangments however are always one man and several wives. The wives refer to one another as "sister wives" and never have sexual encounters with each other. It is common practice not to disclose this type of relationship because of the possiblity of being charged with bigamy.