Multiple partners

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: True Des,...

I haven't gotten to know you very well, but the pain in your posts truly cut to the bone. I agree with others before me - this quote says a lot.

And I do hope that all eventually works out well for you. You seem like a decent man.

I appreaciate the kind words
I truly do

I just wish they were from a RT person that knows me

Howevr no matter how you got it trust is so intense in BDSM D/s and this is where my pain is now .... Rachel has informed me that she is backing away and that she has not been honest for a couple of months etc. ..... so my trust was misplaced ....

Plus ... I have to question the trust I have in myself ...

 

[Richard49]

Re: Resources

There are two wonderful books on the subject.

Polymory; The New Love Without Limits by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol

And The Ethical Slut; A Guide to infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt

They are great for anyone who is thinking about extending their sexual relationships or those who are curous about how it can work.

Enjoy!

Ebony

In addition I would recommend all books by Robert Rimmer

 

[CarolineOh]

Re: Re: Re: Re: True Des,...

If you want to talk email me or yahoo im me oh ya .. i got ICQ also though am usually invisble there

Richard, that you would extend yourself to offer a kind ear to Des when you are hurting yourself says so much about the quality of your character. You are a good, kind man. I hope you have much sunnier days ahead of you.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: True Des,...

Richard, that you would extend yourself to offer a kind ear to Des when you are hurting yourself says so much about the quality of your character. You are a good, kind man. I hope you have much sunnier days ahead of you.

Thank you CarolineOh

This compliments do feel good
however .. I really wish someone in RT RL would say them .... I do not mean that it has to be Rachel but anyone.....

Anyway >>> I am always availeble to anyone in the lifestyle that needs a shoulder or my opinion or expernce or whatever ... hey if we can not be here for each other .. who will be

 

[subtledecadence]

A difficult question...

I am bisexual. My Dominant and I discussed this before the relationship became serious, and though He has stated many times He would not mind my having a "female friend" on my own, to this date I've not been able to bring myself to be w/ anyone other then Him.
This has been something that is VERY difficult for me. While it is a great gift He has given me, I am not sure if I will ever be able to make use of it.
W/we have also discussed the possibility of bringing a female into O/our bedroom. NOT O/our relationship. Just a friend who occassionaly shares in O/our sex life. That is something that I actually feel more secure with at this point with U/us. It is difficult to explain...
Hmph, you see, even though He has given His permission, I find it hard to exclude Him from any aspect of my life. I feel that with Him being there, a part of it all, I would be including Him in another part of me. (I hope that makes some sense...it is THE best I can do ~laughs~)

subtledecadence

 

[MzChrista]

i want to thank everyone that answered my questions about contracts, and something was brought up in one of the responses that brings me to another question. Multiple partners. And i had briefly heard before of serial monogamy. i am not interested in either of these for my own D/s relationship. i am not cut out for it, personality or emotionally wise. But there are many, as James says here in this comment, that are.

(This is only part of the response by James Blandings, the rest is not relevant to this question)



my question is simply this...why? Why does one need or want multiple partners? This again is open to all...Dom/mes, switches, subs...

belle

I dont want to sound smartassy but to me the answer is just Because They Can.
I dont mean to put down people who want a lifelong one for one thing, its wonderful for them that want that, but some are just wired different. Myself I am not in a place I want it but I might later on down the road. But for now I got someone I am dating who might become more and I got a few play partners just for fun and shes been told I am keeping them no matter what its a condition to being with me.
And most people I think if they thought they could have it that they could basicly be free to have multiples would at least consider it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Multiple partners

I dont want to sound smartassy but to me the answer is just Because They Can.
I dont mean to put down people who want a lifelong one for one thing, its wonderful for them that want that, but some are just wired different. Myself I am not in a place I want it but I might later on down the road. But for now I got someone I am dating who might become more and I got a few play partners just for fun and shes been told I am keeping them no matter what its a condition to being with me.
And most people I think if they thought they could have it that they could basicly be free to have multiples would at least consider it.

I agree MzC. I make it very plain to my friends that I want my freedom, and I have no problem if they want theirs too. It alleviates a lot of lying, trying to conceal other relationships.

Eb

 

[DenverFunguy]

Some of us do like one person at a time in real life. But knowing that people change and move on. I also am not going to fall apart whe we as people often do move on. I love for the moment and give it my all but I am glad for the moment and when it is time for her or me to move on I am ready for the next fantastic adventure. I still love the lost of the past but learn from it grow and give to the next not hide from the pain of lost love. If it hurts then I know it was worth the pain. For pain from a lost love even just physical attraction is better than no attachment at all.

~smile~ EB, You were one that i was truly hoping would answer. i am fascinated by the different relationships that You speak of having. i admire You. And You are correct that not everyone is meant for just one relationship at a time...and i was just interested to know others opinions of why they are or aren't...

But i thank You for Your thoughts...(You do know You're one of my crushes, right? <giggles>)

belle

 

[SuccubusScribe]

Complications & jealousy

Hello all. Its been a long time since ive been online here. I need help and advise and perhaps a good spanking lol.

First, I need to admit that im married. Its less than satisfactory and I only stay for the sake of my kids. If it weren't for my kids, id have left a long time ago.

My story begins with the fact that up untill a few months ago, I hadn't had any pleasure with a man for 5 years. My spouse has mounted me, yes, a hand full of times per year and their is no pleasure, no kissing, no foreplay, no toys, no nothing. When he want it, he takes it, and I just close my eyes for a min and poof he is done... So, that being said, I decided that I needed my needs met and I needed to have an affair. I found a Dom at work, by chance, and we began having an affair. It was glorious. I was soo happy for the first time in a long time and my Dom knew just what I needed and how I needed it...

Then, out of nowhere, a few weeks ago, I showed up at his house for a session and their in his closet was another womans panties and toiletries. I was filled with bitter jealousy. (Now, I must say that ive had good and bad experiences with polyamourus relationships and infact one of my best relationships was being owned by a husband and wife couple.) Anyway, ever since that day ive been heartbroken. I Never saw the girl and had no idea what was going on. Apparently, sometime after the affair started, my Dom got a girlfriend and now she is living with him :-(

My Dom doesn't seem to understand what my deal is because his girlfriend does not mind him continuing his affair with me, and is also open to having a 3way with me, if I want to... So far, I have refused to even meet her. I'm mad and hurt and filled with insecurity and im jealous as hell! I know I have no right to be so jealous when im married and all, but still... I had no warning, no chance to think or talk about the possibility...

*sigh* I don't want to loose my Dom and go back to living a half life, a life without pleasure... Im afraid that my insecurities and my jealousy is going to ruin this chance I have. He has already given me a stern warning that my behavior is unattractive and out of control and that it will not be tolerated... :*(

How do I let it go? How can I stay? I Dont know what he expects of me and he does not want to talk about it with me at all anymore. I dont know how I am to both be well in my mind and heart and please my Dom? I feel soo lost...

 

[DenverFunguy]

We have total control of little in life, and nothing that has to do with others thoughts. What we do have total control over is our own thoughts, and how we deal with what happens in this time we call life. How you deal with what has happend to you is 100% up to you. You can as you say harbor your jealousy and keep the hurt, keep the anger, and loose the best sex you have had in years. Or you can learn that the jealousy hurt and anger are not what makes you happy and turned on, and do something for yourself that will be wonderful.
What you think about, desire and decide you want you will have. It is totally up to you.

I know it may sound way to simple. But it is just that simple.

Best wishes always.

Mike

Hello all. Its been a long time since ive been online here. I need help and advise and perhaps a good spanking lol.

First, I need to admit that im married. Its less than satisfactory and I only stay for the sake of my kids. If it weren't for my kids, id have left a long time ago.

My story begins with the fact that up untill a few months ago, I hadn't had any pleasure with a man for 5 years. My spouse has mounted me, yes, a hand full of times per year and their is no pleasure, no kissing, no foreplay, no toys, no nothing. When he want it, he takes it, and I just close my eyes for a min and poof he is done... So, that being said, I decided that I needed my needs met and I needed to have an affair. I found a Dom at work, by chance, and we began having an affair. It was glorious. I was soo happy for the first time in a long time and my Dom knew just what I needed and how I needed it...

Then, out of nowhere, a few weeks ago, I showed up at his house for a session and their in his closet was another womans panties and toiletries. I was filled with bitter jealousy. (Now, I must say that ive had good and bad experiences with polyamourus relationships and infact one of my best relationships was being owned by a husband and wife couple.) Anyway, ever since that day ive been heartbroken. I Never saw the girl and had no idea what was going on. Apparently, sometime after the affair started, my Dom got a girlfriend and now she is living with him :-(

My Dom doesn't seem to understand what my deal is because his girlfriend does not mind him continuing his affair with me, and is also open to having a 3way with me, if I want to... So far, I have refused to even meet her. I'm mad and hurt and filled with insecurity and im jealous as hell! I know I have no right to be so jealous when im married and all, but still... I had no warning, no chance to think or talk about the possibility...

*sigh* I don't want to loose my Dom and go back to living a half life, a life without pleasure... Im afraid that my insecurities and my jealousy is going to ruin this chance I have. He has already given me a stern warning that my behavior is unattractive and out of control and that it will not be tolerated... :*(

How do I let it go? How can I stay? I Dont know what he expects of me and he does not want to talk about it with me at all anymore. I dont know how I am to both be well in my mind and heart and please my Dom? I feel soo lost...