most embarrassing piece of writing

[she_is_my_addiction]

We all have them. Among all our wonderful blurbs, short stories, and essays, there's always the one piece we thought was absolutely wonderful at the time....Pulitzer Prize winning, even! It really turned out to be shit though.

What's yours? Maybe you have more than one.

If you're feeling really brave, post a snippet here.

I wrote a terrible, comedic parody of Wuthering Heights when I was 15 or 16. I thought I was clever. I even tried to do some kind of strange Brit dialect in my writing as well.

*cringe*

 

[Trinique_Fire]

hmmmmm

 

[arienette]

Most of my old writing is embarassing, so I deleted it all and only have what I actually think is okay or above okay up anywhere.

 

[FallingToFly]

Well, when it posts, I'll put up the link... of the stuff I currently have available... Falling. All 40 chapters of it.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

hmmmmm

oh you had soooo much to say about this one, didn't you?

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Another piece I wrote was this moronic monster story of a dream creature that killed children while they were sleeping. It wasn't bloody or gross...just sort of an explanation for why kids die quietly in their sleep. It wasn't bad so much as just unorganized and thrown together. Still though...

 

[Aurora Black]

My "Guardian Angel" and "Last Dance" series. The chapters are posted at Lit.

Wrote the latter when I was 17 and wanted to try writing a "hard-hitting crime drama," but I wound up with a howler.

"Guardian Angel" was written when I was 20, and it was my first attempt for the Romance genre. How's that for foreshadowing?

 

[sugared]

I have a poem I wrote , drunk , when I was more of a noob here, and posted it. The worst thing I have written ever, out there for all to see. Now I'm too chicken shit to put up my good stuff.

 

[FallingToFly]

Sugared, I know ninety percent of my stuff bites, which is why I put it on Lit. If the trolls find it and shred it, I get to rethink the idea. If the AHers find it and gush, I know I've almost got it right. And if it's ignored, I know I need to rewrite.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

I wrote my very first screenplay in seventh grade. It was an English class assignment after we had read Twelve Angry Men. At the time I thought it was great, and it probably was a damn good attempt (style-wise, etc) for a seventh grader to crank out. It was a good sixty pages and was about these four kids whose parents died and the oldest brother and sister helped raise the younger two. The two oldest hated each other and the youngest was mentally challenged.

I don't know what the hell I was on.

 

[Guest]

Almost every poem I've ever written has a high cringe factor. Honestly, the fiction I wrote in my younger years doens't embarrass me, as long as I get to say I wrote it when I was such-and-so years old.

But the poetry? The poetry has a shame factor. I wrote it and I keep it because I wrote it, but I show it only when begged, and when the person reading it is sworn not to laugh, gag, roll their eyes or snigger under their breath.

 

[Aurora Black]

Almost every poem I've ever written has a high cringe factor. Honestly, the fiction I wrote in my younger years doens't embarrass me, as long as I get to say I wrote it when I was such-and-so years old.

But the poetry? The poetry has a shame factor. I wrote it and I keep it because I wrote it, but I show it only when begged, and when the person reading it is sworn not to laugh, gag, roll their eyes or snigger under their breath.

Damn it, you didn't post any. I wanted to see for myself and prove you wrong.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Almost every poem I've ever written has a high cringe factor. Honestly, the fiction I wrote in my younger years doens't embarrass me, as long as I get to say I wrote it when I was such-and-so years old.

But the poetry? The poetry has a shame factor. I wrote it and I keep it because I wrote it, but I show it only when begged, and when the person reading it is sworn not to laugh, gag, roll their eyes or snigger under their breath.

Amen to that. I've only got one poem that I think was real poetry. The rest die a quick and painless death when I go back and read them in my stored files.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

That's easy. One of my older stories here on Lit- "Nicole's Needs". I didn't include a link, because I don't want to make it too easy to read it. It REALLY took Murphy's Law for a ride, let's just say. VERY improbable tale, I admit.

 

[Guest]

Damn it, you didn't post any. I wanted to see for myself and prove you wrong.

Ok fine. But one snigger and I'll fly over to whomp you with a pillow. This is one of the less awful ones. It ain't good. It's just not chokingly bad.



Southern Jukebox Music

Go back to a place in the afternoon sun
Yellow gold and sepia toned
Where every face longs for the days of childhood
When all they wanted to do was grow up
Slamming screen doors behind them on their way

Where the jukebox music is wistful and sad
Twanging out a whimper in the linoleum diner
The air cuddles to you too warm and too sticky
Dusty from its day
Covered in the smell of pine tar and fuel oil

The black arc line of evening sky
Stretches behind the trees tail high
Like a cat on the porch
And the crickets hint to the sunlight
Let’s go let’s go

Everyone who remembers days that were
Always better than today listens to old music
Creaks under flower prints and white cotton
Falls tired into chairs with arms held out
Like the mothers who used to fall there tired

Go back to that place where the years are
Seen through a honey golden lens
A yellow haze on the window pane
A brown stain on the wallpaper
A grey film over the radiator

Where everyone is a child again
And dreams of growing up

 

[Aurora Black]

I fail to see your point. I can't find anything wrong with it.

 

[Guest]

I fail to see your point. I can't find anything wrong with it.

Cliches, a lack of imagination, and triteness, mostly. There are a couple of good lines in it, but mostly it's a rehash. There's just nothing striking in it, and it takes too long to get the images working.

But thank you, darlin. I'm a picky, picky poetry reader which is why I almost NEVER comment on the poetry of others. It's simply too personal. When you aren't moved by what moves someone else, it's cruel to tell them that. Most people hold their poetry slightly closer than they do their skin.

 

[Aurora Black]

Cliches, a lack of imagination, and triteness, mostly. There are a couple of good lines in it, but mostly it's a rehash. There's just nothing striking in it, and it takes too long to get the images working.

But thank you, darlin. I'm a picky, picky poetry reader which is why I almost NEVER comment on the poetry of others. It's simply too personal. When you aren't moved by what moves someone else, it's cruel to tell them that. Most people hold their poetry slightly closer than they do their skin.

It's not like that with me. My poems aren't my babies, my stories are. I just don't have that deep emotional connection to my poems after I've submitted them, even though they were born from my soul while it was in great joy or distress. I am detatched.

 

[Boota]

I'm pretty happy with all the fiction and poetry I've written. I used to write short stories about slashers when i was in junior high, killing off my classmates. They were probably pretty bad, but I don't really remember, and I don't have any of them anymore. I just remember that everyone was begging to be killed in my next story.

I've written a few songs that will never see the light of day.

 

[AngeloMichael]

My one attempt at poetry since college. It was an experiment just letting my thoughts flow, the result: Dreams and Visages. Serious cringe material there!

 

[SeaCat]

Most of what's in my Sig Line.

I think they're good when I post them, but when I go back and read them a while later, well,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cat

 

[togitc]

I have 127 pages of a horrible story. I started it when I was maybe thirteen and continued writing it until I got out of junior high. It was a really bad story that was made even worse by my friends wanting characters and telling me what they would do. I threw all the pages away, but I later found that my mom dug the first twenty out of the trash.

That is kind of sweet, but reading that story makes my cringe.

 

[sincerely_helene]

"Immaculate Contraception" was a poem/rhyming short story about a woman who loses her first born child and then discovers she will likely never be able to concieve again. The whole basis is a discussion which rakes place between her and God just before she takes her own life to be with her deceased, and is written in Shakespearian. Oh, did I mention I have never read Shakespeare?

Next up would be my very first erotic (still unfinished) "short" about about a reporter slowly introduced/enticed into the world of BDSM through the fetish club owner she is instructed to interview. I suppose it started out as sort of a blackmail idea, but I have never been capable of making the characters go any further than seducing each other with their eyes and intense discourse. Two chapters later, I finally realized it was no longer a short story and more of a personal, selfish horny ramble.

 

[Aurora Black]

Next up would be my very first erotic (still unfinished) "short" about about a reporter slowly introduced/enticed into the world of BDSM through the fetish club owner she is instructed to interview. I suppose it started out as sort of a blackmail idea, but I have never been capable of making the characters go any further than seducing each other with their eyes and intense discourse. Two chapters later, I finally realized it was no longer a short story and more of a personal, selfish horny ramble.

Go for it!

 

[sincerely_helene]

Go for it!

You're so sweet... Thanks!

If my characters ever develop the gonads to fuck, I will have them scream out your name!