Sillyman
Clearence INFRARED
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2001
- Posts
- 11,143
Intro music
DUMBASS: Good mornin' everybody! It's the Laughing Twit and Dumbass show! How is everyone this mornin' ?
TWIT: Well, I'm good, but my wife still won't blow me.
Jocks laugh at this for ten minutes
DUMBASS: Well, maybe you'll do better tomorrow night. Anyway, we have a great show for you today. We've got an interview with a comedian you've never heard of. We've got something we've ripped off Letterman that wasn't even funny when he did it. Our resident old rascist bastard will give an editorial about how coons should quit trying to date our daughters, and will have (pompous canned music) the Dumbass Big Sports Picks. But first, the news with Token Chick.
TOKEN: A Florida man had his home broken into over the weekend by a burglar. When the 87 year old man attempted to reach the phone to call for help, the intruder shot him in the testicles.
Jocks laugh at this for 15 minutes.
TWIT: I guess he'll be SHOOTING BLANKS for a while!
Jocks continue to laugh for another ten minutes.
TOKEN: A young gay man was beaten to death on Sunday. Police say he decided to come out to his father during the middle of a heated argument. His father bludgeoned the young man to death with a wrench.
DUMBASS: Guess you could say he didn't like how he was reared!
Jocks laugh helplessly. Station Manager is heard softly sobbing in the background.
DUMBASS: Well, why don't we take some calls about this? Hello, your on the air.
CALLER: Well, the Bible states very clearly that homosexuality is wrong and that and that masturbation will give you frog eyes. I sure this boy will thank his father for sending him to hell where he can repent for his irredeemable transgression against our all loving and forgiving Father in Heaven.
DUMBASS: Great, next caller. Hello, you're on the air.
CALLLER(in high squeaky voice and lisping): Oh no Daddy don't hit me with that hammer! You're getting blood all over my dress! Eeeeek!
Jocks laugh for 15 minutes.
...
It's like this EVERY GODDAMN MORNING, and it's the only thing ever on whenever I have to be up at some godawful hour like say, 8:30.
DUMBASS: Good mornin' everybody! It's the Laughing Twit and Dumbass show! How is everyone this mornin' ?
TWIT: Well, I'm good, but my wife still won't blow me.
Jocks laugh at this for ten minutes
DUMBASS: Well, maybe you'll do better tomorrow night. Anyway, we have a great show for you today. We've got an interview with a comedian you've never heard of. We've got something we've ripped off Letterman that wasn't even funny when he did it. Our resident old rascist bastard will give an editorial about how coons should quit trying to date our daughters, and will have (pompous canned music) the Dumbass Big Sports Picks. But first, the news with Token Chick.
TOKEN: A Florida man had his home broken into over the weekend by a burglar. When the 87 year old man attempted to reach the phone to call for help, the intruder shot him in the testicles.
Jocks laugh at this for 15 minutes.
TWIT: I guess he'll be SHOOTING BLANKS for a while!
Jocks continue to laugh for another ten minutes.
TOKEN: A young gay man was beaten to death on Sunday. Police say he decided to come out to his father during the middle of a heated argument. His father bludgeoned the young man to death with a wrench.
DUMBASS: Guess you could say he didn't like how he was reared!
Jocks laugh helplessly. Station Manager is heard softly sobbing in the background.
DUMBASS: Well, why don't we take some calls about this? Hello, your on the air.
CALLER: Well, the Bible states very clearly that homosexuality is wrong and that and that masturbation will give you frog eyes. I sure this boy will thank his father for sending him to hell where he can repent for his irredeemable transgression against our all loving and forgiving Father in Heaven.
DUMBASS: Great, next caller. Hello, you're on the air.
CALLLER(in high squeaky voice and lisping): Oh no Daddy don't hit me with that hammer! You're getting blood all over my dress! Eeeeek!
Jocks laugh for 15 minutes.
...
It's like this EVERY GODDAMN MORNING, and it's the only thing ever on whenever I have to be up at some godawful hour like say, 8:30.
