willywanker
just one man's opinion
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2000
- Posts
- 3,620
Some of these I have seen before, some I haven't. I appoligize in advance if your state is mentioned. (Mine is, by the way)
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
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How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in
Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
--------------------------------------------------------------
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
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Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
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Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas
burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
Got some you want to add? Feel free.
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
"There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in
Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
--------------------------------------------------------------
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas
burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says,"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
Got some you want to add? Feel free.
