More About Privacy

[lavender]

 

[Jim_Henson]

Which is why my name is Jim

 

[Kitte]

I really didnt think it was private when I said you liked to be licked there...Im sorry

I am sorry you had to go through that Lavy, it is one of my greatest fears to have my info tossed about carelessly even by accident.

 

[sexy-girl]

im sorry lavender i think you might be right about needing maybe others mods ... just for the posting of private info the GB is huge now and it is 24 hours theres hardly a slow period at all on here now

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I agree with the more mods part.... 24 hour mods would be nice but I think unlikely

 

[Cheyenne]

I think I know which post it was, because you had told me you didn't want it to be public. I don't remember where I saw it though so I can't go back to check if it is gone. I'm sorry I didn't send a pm when I saw it on the bb, I might have been able to save you some stress.

People are human, we make mistakes. If there is something that you've told someone that you don't want to be public knowledge, make sure you emphasis to them that it is NOT for board consumption. That should work for people who are your friends, the ones you are telling things to in the first place. My bet is that the person who posted, and I don't even remember who it was, had no clue that you didn't consider it to be for board consumption.

Of course, now I'm wondering how they knew in the first place if you didn't tell them. Hmmmmm... that may be a different question.

 

[lavender]

 

[LukkyKnight]

An eternal dilemma, how much to reveal "in confidence" when you can't and won't always be around to see what is done with it. People's ideas of what is appropriate privacy vary wildly. Thus far I could myself fortunate to have chosen well those who can be trusted, but I always err on the side of caution.

 

[lavender]

 

[sexy-girl]

i think people need to realize there is a lot of people on this board including many lurkers so just be careful about what you say about anyone ... i knew cymbidia had left or was leaving so it was hard not to post and say something but i think its best to be extra careful about peoples lives and anything that is even slightly private


you probably dont want to hear this lavender but when i saw your "flash" the other night i noticed that 3 people had downloaded it yet i think i was the only one that replied saying they saw

 

[cybergirly]

It should be so simple. If someone tells you something, anything off the boards keep it to yourself. Even if it's something as innocent as the color of their hair, it's still that persons hair to discuss not yours.

If only everyone saw it this way.

 

[lavender]

 

[Never]

But what a tit it was.

 

[Cheyenne]

sexy-girl,

I know who saw.

Well, I'm not sure of one person - but I know that you and another person saw.

It's ok. It was just a tit.

Hey, I announced that I saw it! I started a whole thread for you!

But that was different, you had posted it so I assumed you WANTED us to notice. You just needed to keep it up a bit longer to satisfy the masses.

 

[Jim_Henson]

tittilating even

 

[sexy-girl]

lavender made never blush

but i agree not something i will forget in a hurry

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

My personal rule:

Don't say anything that you haven't explicitly read on the board.

What, like that Licky is beautiful, or Naudiz charming? "Anything" covers a lot of area.

Don't say anything that you think might be a personal indicator about a poster.

Just what is a personal indicator? You are being so ambiguous that it is hard to judge whether you are being reasonable or not - although I am sure you are, I just can't judge that from what you have said here.

Don't say anything unless you know for certain that it's ok with another person to mention it.

Again, "anything" covers everything. I use my personal judgement; I have talked with a few people from Lit., and I don't share anything personal with others, on or off Lit. - but some might consider it personal. Like when I gave a pretty good description of what BratCat looked like.

My rules are never to share anything with anybody, public or private, that I think would allow someone to identify someone who wishes to remain unidentified. I certainly wouldn't share anything that would allow someone to find someone. I won't share anything that I think is personal, like family problems they may be having, etc. I won't share photos.

OTOH, I have said things about LC that are personal - but I happen to know he doesn't care. I don't think he would care if I posted his real name here - he could give a fuck.

 

[Sillyman]

I don't care about my own personal information. I figure that anyone who really wanted to could just follow my posts and pickup minute pieces of information about me anyway until they turn into big chunks. Still, I respect people's rights to privacy, and I don't give away anything told to me off the board, including real names or locations.

 

[SamEyeAm]

It really is important, this privacy thing. I have had professional backlash, directly based upon my membership at Lit. A few people here know the story. And it's not based upon what anyone else said about me, but about what I said about myself!

It's a shame, but now I say much, much less about myself, in order to try to prevent being identified. I also know that there are several others here at Lit who have either left entirely or changed their handles because of the same issue.

It means that I can't get as close to people here, can't be as helpful as I would like to be with people who don't already know me, and have to screen more closely what I say to everyone here. I'm in fear that some identifying fact that I say to somebody I trust might slip out on the boards, purely through human error on the part of a well-meaning person, like something evidently did with you, lavy.

It has meant that I have even had to give up on relationships that I have built with some of you here, who have known me for awhile, but don't realize it. And I can't tell you who I was, in order to protect myself behind the privacy of my new identity (Sam). It sucks.

It's not anyone here's fault, and it's not Lit's fault. It's just the reality of how fucked up our culture's attitudes about sex are. Sorry for the rant. Just had to get it out. And I guess that I also felt a need to support what Lavy's saying by telling part of my RL Lit story.

 

[Debbie]

It should be so simple. If someone tells you something, anything off the boards keep it to yourself. Even if it's something as innocent as the color of their hair, it's still that persons hair to discuss not yours.

If only everyone saw it this way.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Sandia]

Someone posted my real name once. I asked him to take it down, and he did. No biggie.

There's a small risk in giving people information about yourself. That's as true in real life as it is here.

In fact, it's more true in real life.

It's way easier for someone in your real life to find you than it is for someone here. (Wouldn't it be cool, though, if you could hide your identity in real life as easily as here?)

I like to think I'm careful about other people's privacy; I hope I am. But I'm not unrealistic about what I'm doing here. I'm taking a small risk. In fact, in one way, I'm taking a big risk. Then again, I drive to work every day, and often pass an ambulance next to a smashed up car or two.

I guess what I'm saying is, that's way more dangerous than this.

 

[Weird Harold]

Don't say anything that you haven't explicitly read on the board.

Don't say anything that you think might be a personal indicator about a poster.

I have been PM'd three times about "personal info" I've promptly removed the info on two of those occasions -- the third occasion the person simultaneously PM'd Laurel and Laurel beat me to removing it.

One was a picture someone had posted (and which I believe is still deep in the archives) that I added a "kiss" to.

One was a typo of someone's screen name that turned out to be their real name -- which I didn't know until they complained.

The third was an indirect reference to the location they've mentioned themselves on the board by implying that they live within the 300 mile radius of a major airport's doppler radar.

I personally think that the third case falls within your first rule and asking for it's removal was a severe case of paranoia on the part of the person involved.

All of us reveal personal information every day in bits and drabs in our conversation here; often without even realizing we're doing it. Most of know what people do and where they live -- in very general terms at least. We know who has children or granddchildren and how many of what kind and they're ages.

Deliberate posting of personal info is neither wise nor ethical, but if you're paranoid about being found in real life from info divulged onthe web, then you shouldn't be on the web.

 

[erosman]

hmmmmm.....makes me think I need to be more judicious. This farm boy trusts too many people with my pictures, I suppose.


Especially the one of me and the boss's wife at the Christmas party. He would shit a brick if he found out the real reason she got choked up......and had to cum home early

 

[Guest]

Thank you for this informative thread. I have been considering registering with LIT, in part to explore certain things about myself by finding people I can feel comfortable discussing them with. It is good reminder that we are not always so anonymous as we may think we are.

Thanks'

soon to be registered