Misused Vocabulary and Factual Errors in Stories That Make You Cringe

JTass

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Howdy all,

I'm cobbling together a list of frequent vocabulary and factual errors that make me cringe when I see them (and possibly reduce the rating I give a story), with the intention of compiling them into a How-To document. I'm not going to address grammar, because that's just opening too big a can of worms.

What incorrectly used words or concepts drive you crazy when you see them?

Here are a couple of examples of the kinds of things I'm talking about:
  • Vocabulary errors that spell-check will probably miss:
    • Discreet means subtle or unobtrusive. Discrete means separate and distinct.
    • Champagne is a French sparkling wine. Champaign is a city in Illinois.
  • Factual errors that make me want to smack someone:
    • Standard ammunition for firearms (pistols/rifles/shotguns) is made from lead, not steel.
    • There are no high-numbered avenues in the borough of Manhattan, New York City. Manhattan has 12 avenues that run North/South and 214 streets that run East/West. (i.e., there is no 38th Ave.)
 
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Steel/steal is a homophone confusion I see weirdly regularly.

Mispunctuated dialogue can take me "out" of a story if it persists for too long. Ditto apostrophe abuse. (Doesn't mean I won't continue reading and possibly enjoying a story. It just means I see the story as a (mis-)constructed work and thus find it harder to suspend disbelief.)
 
  • bemused
  • a women
  • a breathe
  • queue/cue
  • peak/peek
  • cummed (whether or not this is an acceptable conjugation, I hate it)
And then there are some that bug me personally, but in fairness are fairly obscure gotchas that it's unreasonable to expect anyone who isn't a word geek to know:
  • phase/faze (often seen as "unphased")
  • pique / peak/peek
  • There are no high-numbered avenues in the borough of Manhattan, New York City. Manhattan has 12 avenues that run North/South and 214 streets that run East/West. (i.e., there is no 38th Ave.)
It's fiction, though. Baker Street didn't go up to No. 221B when Conan Doyle wrote his Sherlock Holmes stories, and (with some caveats) there is no 555 area code in North America.
 
I'm not going to address grammar, because that's just opening too big a can of worms.
FIERY CAN OF WORMS IN THE HOLE!

You hyphenate compound adjectives if they directly modify a noun as well as compound nouns, e.g. "the broad-rimmed hat" versus "the hat with a broad rim", but you do NOT hyphenate adverbs, e.g. "strangely appropriate hat" versus "fast-talking waiter" ("talking" is being used as a noun in this case). If a word that would otherwise be an adjective (e.g. "quick") ends in "ly", it's an adverb (e.g. "quickly") and should NEVER be followed by a hyphen.

Here's a handy guide.
 
Many times there are typographic errors not grammar errors.

My head and my fingers don't communicate sometimes.

I;ve looked up discrete/discreet many times. My noggin still doesn't keep them straight.
 
A man may be blond but he's certainly not a blonde.

Phase for faze annoys me.

  • Baker Street didn't go up to No. 221B when Conan Doyle wrote his Sherlock Holmes stories, and (with some caveats) there is no 555 area code in North America.

Baker Street station opened in 1863, and the various terraces and some of the mansion blocks occupying the northern end of Baker Street where 221 now is were built both before and soon after. The terrace used in the Sherlock TV series looks just like ones there which would have been new-builds in 1880 when Holmes moved in. So the numbering is plausible, if fictional.
555 is usually knowingly used as a number for fiction, though now everyone knows that, it's a bit glaringly obvious. In the UK the digits 496 0xxx are usually used for most dialling codes, with 020 7946 0xxx for fictional London numbers.
 
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T/CD specific but, no matter how much you take, or give your unsuspecting target, taking estrogen will not give you boobs in a few, days, weeks, or even months. It will take years, and they won’t be DDs.
 
I can forgive commonly misused like like there, their, and they're or your and you're. Spellcheckers won't usually flag them. I know this to be a fact.

Some concepts of human anatomy I have actually read in stories that were not sci-fi stories.

1. "I filled her with gallons of hot, steaming cum"
2. "I pulled out of her dripping pussy and rammed it up her ass"
3. "She took my 12 inch long, 6 inch thick cock all the way and begged me for more"
 
I will begin by saying I have never submitted a story here. Years ago, I did enjoy writing short stories, typically 4-8 pages in length, about various topics.

Now, that said, I am a bit OCD when reading, but it also depends on the author. For example, a story written by an amateur author who writes for their own enjoyment in their own free time is given more grace towards these types of literary sins.

A few years ago, my wife was reading a book. It's a fairly popular book, the second instalment of a New York Times bestseller. I decided I would give it a try. The amount of grammatical and typographical errors I found in reading just a few pages was nauseating. This was a professional author, with a team of editors. If you are getting paid to write stories, at least do it well.

I will step off my soapbox now. Who knows, one day I may submit a story here
 
I can forgive commonly misused like like there, their, and they're or your and you're. Spellcheckers won't usually flag them. I know this to be a fact.

Some concepts of human anatomy I have actually read in stories that were not sci-fi stories.

1. "I filled her with gallons of hot, steaming cum"
2. "I pulled out of her dripping pussy and rammed it up her ass"
3. "She took my 12 inch long, 6 inch thick cock all the way and begged me for more"
Um, 2 is possible in the throes of passion, but from experience, definitely not well received. Just saying. 😬
 
I can forgive commonly misused like like there, their, and they're or your and you're. Spellcheckers won't usually flag them. I know this to be a fact.

Some concepts of human anatomy I have actually read in stories that were not sci-fi stories.

1. "I filled her with gallons of hot, steaming cum"
2. "I pulled out of her dripping pussy and rammed it up her ass"
3. "She took my 12 inch long, 6 inch thick cock all the way and begged me for more"
In British English, #2 immediately takes the story in to territory even Lit disallows, not to mention the RSPCA.
 
According to Webster's, alright is "unacceptable" as a substitute for all right. This usage rule is probably biting the dust, which is too bad. The correct form even looks better.
 
  • bemused
  • a women
  • a breathe
  • queue/cue
  • peak/peek
  • cummed (whether or not this is an acceptable conjugation, I hate it)
And then there are some that bug me personally, but in fairness are fairly obscure gotchas that it's unreasonable to expect anyone who isn't a word geek to know:
  • phase/faze (often seen as "unphased")
  • pique / peak/peek
Breathe vs breath, queue vs cue, and peek/peak/pique are all already on my list. I'll add phased vs fazed.

What's up with the word bemused? I've never seen that one used incorrectly. Have you seen authors use bemused to replace amused?
 
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