MissVictoria
Falling Farther In
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2001
- Posts
- 2,044
5/16/2006
Dear Diary,
When did I start feeling so foreign to myself? Sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder how the person that I see there could possibly be me. The eyes are tired, every now and then I find a gray hair. I feel bloated, foreign to myself. If there was a world without reflections, perhaps I could be content with what I am.
How can this be me?
Sometimes I forget the reflection. I feel delicious, beautiful.
Maybe diary, if I start slowly, and look at a little bit at a time, I can accept myself. It is a cruel gauntlet, but one I must run...
http://img152.imagevenue.com/loc105/th_31244_v.jpg http://img17.imagevenue.com/loc1/th_31339_1.jpg http://img121.imagevenue.com/loc54/th_31341_shot.jpg
5-17-2006
Dear Diary,
I detest summer. I hate heat, can't bear to feel the merciless persistance of it. I feel sweaty and disgusting, and can't understand why sweat seems to appeal to some people. Sweaty sex is a big turnoff to me, but some people claim to truly like it.
I want a glass of icewater. I want to jump into a cool lake. I wish I looked better in a swimsuit. I've always wanted to go skinny dipping.
It is too hot tonight. And I miss him.
http://img140.imagevenue.com/loc39/th_44634_mestrap.jpghttp://img146.imagevenue.com/loc237/th_44640_metoohotinhere.jpghttp://img127.imagevenue.com/loc8/th_44646_mecleavage.jpg
Dear Diary,
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an overly miserable person. In fact I'm an optimist the majority of the time, and I very much enjoy being alive. It is just easier to write about negative feelings than positive ones. We all have them. I'm suprised that so many people are concerned for me, they truly are presuming the worst.
I bought a new shirt today. It is white cotton, and has puffy girlish sleeves. It makes me feel like a naughty little girl, and I really like that mood. I can't wait for my boyfriend to get back from Russia... just a few more weeks. I'm going to let him have it something fierce.
I bought a toy from adam & eve last night, the first one I've ever bought for myself. I can't wait for it to get here. I'm anxious.
I took a picture of that stupid mole on my belly that I hate. As if my belly weren't bad enough, it has to have a giant mole on it. Maybe if I look at it enough I'll get used to it.
http://img18.imagevenue.com/loc101/th_96122_puffysleeve.jpghttp://img9.imagevenue.com/loc171/th_96131_bellymole.jpghttp://img143.imagevenue.com/loc176/th_96142_openshirt.jpghttp://img137.imagevenue.com/loc168/th_96146_openshirt2.jpg
Dear Diary,
When did I start feeling so foreign to myself? Sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder how the person that I see there could possibly be me. The eyes are tired, every now and then I find a gray hair. I feel bloated, foreign to myself. If there was a world without reflections, perhaps I could be content with what I am.
How can this be me?
Sometimes I forget the reflection. I feel delicious, beautiful.
Maybe diary, if I start slowly, and look at a little bit at a time, I can accept myself. It is a cruel gauntlet, but one I must run...
http://img152.imagevenue.com/loc105/th_31244_v.jpg http://img17.imagevenue.com/loc1/th_31339_1.jpg http://img121.imagevenue.com/loc54/th_31341_shot.jpg
5-17-2006
Dear Diary,
I detest summer. I hate heat, can't bear to feel the merciless persistance of it. I feel sweaty and disgusting, and can't understand why sweat seems to appeal to some people. Sweaty sex is a big turnoff to me, but some people claim to truly like it.
I want a glass of icewater. I want to jump into a cool lake. I wish I looked better in a swimsuit. I've always wanted to go skinny dipping.
It is too hot tonight. And I miss him.
http://img140.imagevenue.com/loc39/th_44634_mestrap.jpghttp://img146.imagevenue.com/loc237/th_44640_metoohotinhere.jpghttp://img127.imagevenue.com/loc8/th_44646_mecleavage.jpg
Dear Diary,
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an overly miserable person. In fact I'm an optimist the majority of the time, and I very much enjoy being alive. It is just easier to write about negative feelings than positive ones. We all have them. I'm suprised that so many people are concerned for me, they truly are presuming the worst.
I bought a new shirt today. It is white cotton, and has puffy girlish sleeves. It makes me feel like a naughty little girl, and I really like that mood. I can't wait for my boyfriend to get back from Russia... just a few more weeks. I'm going to let him have it something fierce.
I bought a toy from adam & eve last night, the first one I've ever bought for myself. I can't wait for it to get here. I'm anxious.
I took a picture of that stupid mole on my belly that I hate. As if my belly weren't bad enough, it has to have a giant mole on it. Maybe if I look at it enough I'll get used to it.
http://img18.imagevenue.com/loc101/th_96122_puffysleeve.jpghttp://img9.imagevenue.com/loc171/th_96131_bellymole.jpghttp://img143.imagevenue.com/loc176/th_96142_openshirt.jpghttp://img137.imagevenue.com/loc168/th_96146_openshirt2.jpg
Last edited:
... your location rings a bell 
