Misery Love Company

[Isolde]

I am miserable...I am past miserable and moved through the firey gates of hell. And, dammit, I dont want to be here alone. Hell, I will even invite the Trolls. They cant make me any more miserable and they deserve some misery themselves.

I cant post in my SRP or ORP threads worth shit and I have worn a hole in Imoen's carpet with my pacing.

I wont bore you with the details. You probably dont want to hear them and I would probably start crying if I told them to you. It has nothing to do with my rant thread and everything to do with Indy's goodbye thread.

To put it simply...


I screwed up....I fucked up....I gave myself a ride here. I probably deserve to be here.

And NO...I dont want people coming in and telling me what a sweetie I am or that I really didnt mess up. I did. I admit it. I hurt someone who really cared about me and who, believe it or not, I care about all because of my stupid insecurities. I was a bitch.

And when you spell that put a capital B on it, please.

So here I am beating up on myself..not that it does any good. I cant take back what I said. I honestly thought I was doing something right and it turned out I was doing it all wrong and in the wrong way.

Love not only makes you blind, it can make you stupid.

*sighs*

Okay...so, as I was saying...here I am renting a room at hotel misery. Anyone out there in a mood to join me?

Come on in and share heartache stories with me.

 

[Siren]

who is Indy?

 

[Isolde]

sorry Siren...thought everyone knew my knickname for him.

indyweasel

 

[Simply Me]

We've all done it Isolde. Don't beat yourself up so bad. You have lots going on in your life right now and your thought process won't always be right on target. Take some time, stand back, and look at the big picture. It's easy to look back and see our mistakes, wish we could take words back, make it right again.
But if someone truly cares about you, they will forgive those words. You know where I am if you need to talk. Hug to you..

 

[Guest]

talk about catharsis...


Consequences...I could go on for days. One fucked up decision after another resulting in more people getting hurt than I can remember. You are not alone, Isolde. I have also made my bed and I also get to sleep in it.

Not a day goes by where I don't want to simply go off and lay waste to a city block (and about a dozen or so folks who are wasting air), then I remember I helped set the scene. Innocence died eons ago.

I think I've finally reached a point I've stopped feeling most things and to be honest, I'm fine with that. The people I've trusted the most have all let me down and I in turn have let them down. I know humans err, but I'm not about to let that happen again.

 

[Silverlily]

dammit to hell, I hate this computer!!!

Unregistered was me.

 

[Siren]

You are ending a marriage. and a bad one at that.

 

[teresafannin]

Hi Isolde, I will join you. I feel like having a big ole pity party tonight. Tomorrow is my son's 19th birthday & I am missing him so much. I wish I could be with him, my 19th birthday was such a special one & I wanted his to be wonderful. This is one of the days when I feel like it will never get better.

I am so sorry about Indy. Is there any way you can email him & work things out? Time may be all you both need right now. I will hold good thoughts for you both, it will help me take my mind off my own sorrows. Hugs to you, Teresa

 

[Isolde]

*sighs*

Everything everyone of you have said rings true.

And I have talked with him. Right now I have to leave him alone to clear his own mind and make it up. Thus the pacing of the carpet.

Soooo....anyone else here an emotional eater?

*passes around the pizza and cookies*

 

[Silverlily]

worse, I'm an emotional shopper.

Here, I'll go buy some cookies, we'll both feel better.

 

[teresafannin]

Frozen pizza & Little Debbie's brownies for me. I just want the next 2 days to be over with.

 

[Isolde]

I hear you there, teresa...

And Kitten, sounds like the best offer I have had in a loooong time.

 

[Beebeeblue]

worse, I'm an emotional shopper.

Here, I'll go buy some cookies, we'll both feel better.

See girls, no matter how bad you feel, there's always a way to make you feel better.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Isolde.... come stay with me! Montana can be a LOT of fun when you like the outdoors. I've got a secluded cabin on Flathead lake.... no phone, no computer, no TV. I go there to think. I think you'd like it.

 

[Isolde]

Thanks, hon but I got two little ones under the age of five who could make Mother Teresa tear her hair out and give Dennis the Menace a good name.

In fact they are driving Imoen up the wall...poor girl...and I have to decide whether to stay here or go back by family. It is looking more like I am going to be headed back the whole time...*sighs*

 

[pabloback]

the only way any good will come of this is to learn from it and try not to repeat the same mistake again

 

[bluntforcemama]

Oh, don't go back.

 

[Isolde]

Not to my ex, hon...never to him...

But I will be regulated to living with my dad until I can get settled...I love my dad but my lord I am 37...you would think I would have a life by now.


And I am a slow learner...this will be my second divorce.

*sighs*

 

[bluntforcemama]

"Learn and recover, pick yourself up again and live...."

I don't think I know the extent of what you're going through. Those are words that my father has told me everytime I've faltered.