Miraculous new eyeglasses

[shereads]

According to the catalog, these new polarized bifocal sunglasses "will keep you from looking like a fool."



Man! This is a lot more revolutionary than that over-hyped Seqway scooter.

I know what you're thinking: stocking-stuffers for the family...new wardrobe staple for your office Christmas party. Fine. But let's think bigger. If we pool our resources, we could hand them out as gifts at the next G-8 Summit. Haul them in by the truckload for the 2008 Republican and Democratic conventions. That will be the product's acid test.

I wonder if R&D has considered what might happen if their miraculous, not-looking-like-a-fool eyeglasses are tried on by a convention delegate who's already wearing a red, white and blue sport coat with a matching balloon-animal hat.

 

[rgraham666]

The important discovery would be if someone invents eyeglasses that keep a person from acting like a fool.

Damn, being an existentialist sucks sometimes.

 

[shereads]

The important discovery would be if someone invents eyeglasses that keep a person from acting like a fool.

Damn, being an existentialist sucks sometimes.

Technologically, your idea is probably decades away. But this isn't a bad second-best, you know. If people can behave like fools but not be perceived as fools, it'll be like...like...

<sigh>

It'll be just like the 2004 election.

Nevermind.

Dammit, Rob. Now what will I get my brother in law for Christmas?

 

[past_perfect]

According to the catalog, these new polarized bifocal sunglasses "will keep you from looking like a fool."

It might just be an ingenious way of saying that you won't be able to see anything through them, so this could be the spin-off for a more introspective generation.

 

[shereads]

Products the world has been waiting for

Not yet in the US but a big hit in Korea, LG's new cell phone incorporates one of those self-testing breathalyzers.

Here's the brilliant part:

You can program your phone to block outgoing calls to certain numbers if your blood alcohol level reaches the stage where things that seem like a good idea, aren't.

I envision a little digital meter on the phone's screen with "Contemplative" at the low end and "Bulletproof" at the three-quarter mark. The red zone, where you've chosen to block every number except the ones to call a taxi, might be labeled, "I-Know-I-Shouldn't-Say-This-To-My-Boss-But-I-Can't-Stop-Thinking-About-Your-Wife's-Ass."

Now, if there were a device that would give its user laryngitis after the second drink at office parties...

A FRIENDLY HOLIDAY REMINDER: More firings occur after office Christmas parties than at any other time of the year. Don't forget to bring a designated replacement hire.

 

[elsol]

The important discovery would be if someone invents eyeglasses that keep a person from acting like a fool.

Damn, being an existentialist sucks sometimes.

Can't be done...

How do you idiot-proof something meant to stop someone from acting like a fool?

 

[shereads]

Can't be done...

How do you idiot-proof something meant to stop someone from acting like a fool?

Funny you should ask. See the LG cell phone post above.

 

[elsol]

Funny you should ask. See the LG cell phone post above.

*cough*cough*

That's what pay phones are for... and I say that from experience! (Not with the breathalyzer cell but because a good friend took the cellie away... didn't stop me though.)

 

[shereads]

*cough*cough*

That's what pay phones are for... and I say that from experience! (Not with the breathalyzer cell but because a good friend took the cellie away... didn't stop me though.)

Stun gun, then.