daughter
Dreamer
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2001
- Posts
- 1,561
Darkmoon--
Read your piece. Like the tone and many of the descriptions. The work is more expository than it need be. In many instances you show instead of tell. That's where the strength of the piece lies. I'd edit this some. The more succinct and focused a piece, the greater the pleasure.
Thanks for the read.
Peace,
daughter
Read your piece. Like the tone and many of the descriptions. The work is more expository than it need be. In many instances you show instead of tell. That's where the strength of the piece lies. I'd edit this some. The more succinct and focused a piece, the greater the pleasure.
Thanks for the read.
Peace,
daughter
