Mindfuck, ignoring?

[Bookishleigh]

^^^^^^

This year's Halloween costume. But my garters and stockings will be black, not white. I don't deserve to wear white.

Oh now....doesn't really just take one confession for all our sins to be forgiven?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I would never feel comfortable in that type of relationship. My PYLs have not ghosted or ignored me and if they had I would speak up and let them know it was harming me. Ignoring that would lead to the end of the relationship.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

The Lazy Dom's Guide to Mindfucking

Chapter 1.

Do Nothing.

Chapter 2.

Still Do Nothing. Feel smug.

Chapter 3.

Do Nothing. Sub leaves. Fill self with righteous indignation about the crappy quality of the subs you meet.

Chapter 4.

Repeat as necessary.

Yes

Do you want to submit to someone who behaves that way?

Yes - keep doing what you're doing.
No - ignore him right back.

Personally, I don't see it as anything other than lazy. "I'm the masterblahblahblah! You're the slave! Here's this huge list of stuff I expect from you, and BTW I'll never do anything to even indicate I'm paying any attention you're following the rules, or that I feel committed to what I started. But if you don't, it's just a mindfuck. See how masterful I am?!? You're totally losing your shit with insecurity and worry and feeling inadequate! And I don't even have to DO ANYTHING, because MASTER!"

Translation:

I'm an idiot, with no social skills, who watched some porn and decided I'm like totally a master 'cause I like to emotionally abuse women and ghost them and shit... All those bitches into that fucked up BDSM stuff are messed up anyway... I bet my roommate $20 I could get one to do _____!

Yes!

Your name is Slaveforagod. I don't know, what kind of "god" gives you a bunch of rules and then disappears, going completely silent and leaving you to wonder if he's still paying any attention to what you're doing at all? I mean, Jesus Christ!

YES!!

 

[Tommybowler]

^^^^^^

This year's Halloween costume. But my garters and stockings will be black, not white. I don't deserve to wear white.

I have to disagree. You would look awesome in white, especially with a growing damp spot over your kitty.

 

[HomewardBound41]

Your name is Slaveforagod. I don't know, what kind of "god" gives you a bunch of rules and then disappears, going completely silent and leaving you to wonder if he's still paying any attention to what you're doing at all? I mean, Jesus Christ!

What he said. As someone new here and seeking information into this way of life, I have discovered precisely what I wish to avoid. I truly hope he gets "with it" -

 

[wsahtacrhon1]

.......

 

[Vorpalone]

In my opinion it is unreasonable for either party to be purposely ignored in a relationship. Therefore you don't currently have a relationship with another person. You have a relationship with a set of static instructions. Issuing standing orders as to your behaviors with no interaction or ongoing effort is beyond lame. Telling you it's a mindfuck sounds like an excuse from someone who doesn't have a plan. I'd fire him.

 

[KayceeCharles]

One way to mindfuck involves giving what initially appears as conflicting signals. Doing something RIGHT results in punishment, doing something wrong results in reward, then the signal was swapped again. Basically. the mind seeks to find the pattern, the "rules", but can't find any, and the sub goes mad trying to find the way to submit "properly".

(In a way, this is very similar to abuse: no matter what the child does s/he gets a beating/dressing down, NOTHING is ever good enough)

This can only be done to a LIMITED DURATION and extent. If done over long period the sub can fall into a funk and withdraw from the world and become numb. If done ineptly can result in a damaged sub.

Other way to mindfuck is play with audio or visual cues just to get the imagination going. Leaving the sub restrained while you play sounds of a whip or paddle in the next room over may create dread / anticipation, as well as whispered threats/promises.

 

[Primalex]

Last Activity: 09-07-2016 04:31 AM

 

[cookiecat]

I never get why people reply to old posts.

 

[KayceeCharles]

I got bored?

 

[DarkSimian]

Why is being a submissive synonymous with being a doormat who has no say in what is happening in their relationship??????

I don't care what the pyl title is, if it's not something you want or you agreed upon at the start of the relationship then tell them to FUCK OFF. No offensive action calls for a PYL to ignore their pyl. It's cruel, not an effective way to modify behavior, and LAZY. All it does it destroy trust and creates insecurities in the pyl. It's a scare tactic used by poser bullies who think a pyl is a pawn fuckdoll that shouldn't have a mind of their own.

You don't owe him anything, you're more than ego boosting fodder for some posturing wanker.

Wait.....What?!? You mean that's wrong?

 

[oOMinxOo]

I've not read through, but how can one possess my body if they do not first possess my mind? How can they possess my mind if they're not present to do it? More than a weekend? I've moved on.

 

[NoJo]

Ok. I tell you I'm going to break you down until you're completely under my control, and I'm going to do that by completely ignoring you: But I also tell you that every day I ignore you, you'll want me more. Until you can't bear it. Until you hate me, because you know I'm enjoying the agony you're feeling.

And then I go about my business, and don't give you more attention.

Believe me, there are submissives who would totally get off on that.

Because the whole DAMN thing is just happening in the mind of the submissive.

 

[MastersDelight]

I agree, that there are, but the OPs issue is that the ignoring was not previously discussed or agreed upon. Which can be damaging and just not good online Doming. If it's previously negotiated and agreed upon by all parties then have all the ignoring fun you want. This wasn't the case for the OP.

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

Ignoring? Ugh.. I wouldn't put up with that. I had an ex boyfriend who used to ignore me when I was in the same room with him. He was very controlling and always wanted to be in control about every little thing. He was very abusive. Than he wondered why I was so unhappy and barely wanted to have sex with him. Haha! He was a total dick. There's no other word to describe him.

I don't put up with this type of bullshit anymore and I never will again. People need to be treated with nothing but respect. I needed to vent a little bit there. Haha!