Metamorphosis

[al55]

Anyone have any ideas for a sequel to my story below:

https://www.literotica.com/s/metamorphosis-33

 

[AlinaX]

Why don't you give us a brief summary of the original, then suggest some ways you think it could continue. At the worst, you'll be ignored; at the best, someone may make some interesting solutions.

 

[sirhugs]

Why don't you give us a brief summary of the original, then suggest some ways you think it could continue. At the worst, you'll be ignored; at the best, someone may make some interesting solutions.

or maybe share with us what questions you have in your mind what happens later to these characters, or in the fictional world you have created.

Even a story that has a "closed' orplanned ending, such as Happily Ever After, ofyen leaves aspects of that world or the characters to be explored. If there is nothing left to be explored, then there is no need for a sequel. But maybe a prequel?

Easier to build on what exists in your mind than suggest based entirely on our reactions.

You might also try cross posting this question to the Story Feedback forum.

 

[sirhugs]

First, let me preface my remarks by admitting that erotic horror is not my jam. Though I have my questions about your category choice. To me it seemed more of a domination tale (BDSM) than horror. Still, the mistreatment of Sarah made me uncomfortable.

Mermaids except as fantasy creatures in fables, and body modification, are also not my jam.

I was left with a couple of questions. That isn't bad, because they may be clues where to go next.,

First, is Sarah the heroine or is Robert some weird anti-hero?

Second, what happened to Paul? It is not clear why Paul appears, looking like a possible hero, on page two, then disappears after the body modification. Maybe I just missed it, speedreading.

Because potentially the sequel is Paul as hero arriving to rescue Sarah. Very classic.

But if Sarah is the Xena or Buffy Summers of her own story, then she has to rescue herself. Possibly with help from Paul or another secondary character or Scooby gang.

If Robert is the anti-hero, then the obvious continuation begins with the punishment he metes out to Sarah. not sure where that goes exactly, but for an anti-hero, it has to end with them getting their just deserts.

Best of luck having your story find its audience, and writing the sequel.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Lets be realistic here. The story is 47k words. From a Lit standpoint, it's huge. Does it really need a sequel?

If so, why not reread it yourself and see if there were any plot threads that you didn't wrap up sufficently or side characters that could have gotten a little more love? That would be the best way to create a sequel.

With respect, think about what you're asking. You have a very niche interest, and that's totaly cool. I wish you great success and joy with it, but most of us don't have five hours to read something outside of our interests to recommend anything for a sequel.

 

[sirhugs]

Lets be realistic here. The story is 47k words. From a Lit standpoint, it's huge. Does it really need a sequel?

If so, why not reread it yourself and see of there were any plot threads that you didn't wrap up sufficently or side characters that could have gotten a little more love? That would be the best way to create a sequel.

With respect, think about what you're asking. You have a very niche interest, and that's totaly cool. I wish you great success and joy with it, but most of us don't have five hours to read something outside of our interests to recommend anything for a sequel.

Plaudits to you for having the gumption to post what some of us were only thinking.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Plaudits to you for having the gumption to post what some of us were only thinking.

I know what it's like to have an interest and have no one to share it with. I also wanted to help @al55 realize why, despite a half dozen threads on the subject, they aren't getting much feedback.

 

[al55]

Why don't you give us a brief summary of the original, then suggest some ways you think it could continue. At the worst, you'll be ignored; at the best, someone may make some interesting solutions.

The original story follows a young woman who is turned into a busty mermaid by a reclusive billionaire and kept as a sex pet.

Lots happens but that is the basic gist of it.

Thanks Alina!

 

[al55]

Why don't you give us a brief summary of the original, then suggest some ways you think it could continue. At the worst, you'll be ignored; at the best, someone may make some interesting solutions.

The original story follows a young woman who is turned into a busty mermaid by a reclusive billionaire and kept as a sex pet.

Lots happens but that is the basic gist of it.

Thanks AlinaA

or maybe share with us what questions you have in your mind what happens later to these characters, or in the fictional world you have created.

Even a story that has a "closed' orplanned ending, such as Happily Ever After, ofyen leaves aspects of that world or the characters to be explored. If there is nothing left to be explored, then there is no need for a sequel. But maybe a prequel?

Easier to build on what exists in your mind than suggest based entirely on our reactions.

You might also try cross posting this question to the Story Feedback forum.

Thanks for the feedback! I have several ideas but not sure where to take it.

 

[al55]

I know what it's like to have an interest and have no one to share it with. I also wanted to help @al55 realize why, despite a half dozen threads on the subject, they aren't getting much feedback.

Thanks Rob, I appreciate that!

 

[sirhugs]

The original story follows a young woman who is turned into a busty mermaid by a reclusive billionaire and kept as a sex pet.

Lots happens but that is the basic gist of it.

Thanks AlinaA

Thanks for the feedback! I have several ideas but not sure where to take it.

When I find myself in that spot, I pick one, often randomly, and start writing. I try to do 200 to 500 words, then sit back and see how I feel about the direction. If I don't feel good about it, I try anther one.

Admittedly not a great way to start a 13 Lit pages story or chapter, but I'm what is called a 'pantser". I write by the seat of my pants, with little or no plotting.

Other writers have other techniques. I'd bet you might find some int he How To forum, or the How To essays on te story side (some of which are found under the Writer's Resources tab, but some of wich you need you search for on the story index How To category.

Also, if you have a notion of what you want to do, but want help plotting, try the Author's Hangout. Start a thread there. Explain the situation in more detail than you did here, ask for suggextions on how to plot a long story. Folks there are friendly and don't bite unless you ask for it.

 

[al55]

When I find myself in that spot, I pick one, often randomly, and start writing. I try to do 200 to 500 words, then sit back and see how I feel about the direction. If I don't feel good about it, I try anther one.

Admittedly not a great way to start a 13 Lit pages story or chapter, but I'm what is called a 'pantser". I write by the seat of my pants, with little or no plotting.

Other writers have other techniques. I'd bet you might find some int he How To forum, or the How To essays on te story side (some of which are found under the Writer's Resources tab, but some of wich you need you search for on the story index How To category.

Also, if you have a notion of what you want to do, but want help plotting, try the Author's Hangout. Start a thread there. Explain the situation in more detail than you did here, ask for suggextions on how to plot a long story. Folks there are friendly and don't bite unless you ask for it.

Thank you

 

[AlinaX]

The original story follows a young woman who is turned into a busty mermaid by a reclusive billionaire and kept as a sex pet.

I guessed as much, but what exactly is the story? What is the emotional journey? Why does there need to be a sequel?

 

[sirhugs]

Thank you

Another option is to do a post in this thread that briefly lists in very general terms (not a full outline) 2,3 or 4 possible ways that you have thought about continuing the story and asking us whch we prefer.
There are folks here that will gladly give ypu their views, be they raw, half-baked, fully-baked, or overcooked. Better some feedback than none.

 

[al55]

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

These are some of the ideas that I was thinking about the story:

A) Set a few years later, a new group of women are captured and turned into mermaids by Paul and Robert Castellano. This option would continue Sarah's story whilst also introducing a new group of characters to get to know.

B) This idea would revolve around Sarah's former friend getting turned into a mermaid when investigating her friend's disappearance.

C) Sarah escapes the compound and leaves the island and there is a search for her.

Any ideas?

The story is an erotic body horror - I'm interested in the loss of identity and control of my characters.

 

[sirhugs]

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

These are some of the ideas that I was thinking about the story:

A) Set a few years later, a new group of women are captured and turned into mermaids by Paul and Robert Castellano. This option would continue Sarah's story whilst also introducing a new group of characters to get to know.

B) This idea would revolve around Sarah's former friend getting turned into a mermaid when investigating her friend's disappearance.

C) Sarah escapes the compound and leaves the island and there is a search for her.

Any ideas?

The story is an erotic body horror - I'm interested in the loss of identity and control of my characters.

Based on my earlier reply, it will be no surprise tht I like the idea of sarah swimming off and livving happily ever after.

 

[AlinaX]

The story is an erotic body horror - I'm interested in the loss of identity and control of my characters.

What is the erotic element? What draws the reader in and makes them wish, on some level, they could be abducted and transformed?

You can write stories that lead to horror and despair, but there's a limit to how far you can take them.

Ask: What is it that you mermaid needs, what is it she gains? What is the thing that offers the reader some satisfaction at the end?

For example, perhaps what she needs is freedom from the men who control her. She may end up monstrously and irreversibly transformed, but if in the end she escapes them, then she is free. Or perhaps what she needs is to accept who she is now and find a way to some degree of happiness in a cruel world. And perhaps all she really needs for that is company, to not be alone.

Perhaps all of these things, and having written that, I realise my two mermaid stories play on all of these ideas.

But it could be interesting to go further, although it's getting into the supernatural: A mermaid who can walk on land, her tail transforming into human legs - but she cannot deny the call of the sea, it pulls her back, robs her of peace. For every month spent on land, she must spend two in the water recovering, and there are dangers in the water.

 

[al55]

My preferred idea for the continuation of the story is as follows: three women are retracing Sarah's visit to the Greek island years after disappearance. Tours have cropped up run by locals to show American tourists the route that Sarah would have taken and where she was last seen. The three women are on spring break and decide to do a "Sarah" tour out of morbid curiosity. On the tour they meet Robert Castellano who is taking the tour for a very different reason. He is on the tour as he finds it amusing that the authorities were so wrong about Sarah's disappearance and he is enjoying knowing he got away with it. During the tour, one of the women gets into an argument with him and he is irate, not used to being challenged by anyone due to his millionaire status. Livid, he once again contacts Paul and arranges for the women to disappear and mermaid surgeries to be performed on each of them (on a side note, does anyone have any ideas for novel and new mermaid designs such as armless mermaids, finned mermaids, etc. to be incorporated into the story). The women are turned into mermaids and find themselves trapped at the villa where they meet Sarah herself and she explains to them what has happened. Robert organizes a party with the rich and famous to display the new mermaids and to parade them around. After this, I am struggling for where to bring the storyline, I want to maintain the dark and bleak style of the original Metamorphosis story as well.

Thanks in advance if any authors could share their ideas with me

Al.

 

[anthrodisiac]

The problem with a continuation of a long and bleak storyline is that at some point, you risk the reader becoming exhausted with, well, dark and bleak. You already have 50k of dark and bleak, does someone really want to keep going with another 10k, 20k, 50k of dark and bleak? Erotic horror is great, but there's a reason they tend not to have series. People can tolerate dark and bleak for a while, but almost all of them at some point, if it goes on long enough, are going to want to see some positive payout for all the bleakness you've subjected them to. Speaking as someone who's written horror going back more than 20 years here.

Indulgence of bleak and dark is usually better kept for shorter works, because you don't have the emotional toll that comes with immersing yourself in it for so long. It's a special type of person that willingness sits through that much suffering and darkness, and for people who are into mermaids, I guarantee you there isn't a huge overlap in that Venn diagram of "yay suffering" and "pretty fish people"!

Take @NuclearFairy's Neptune's Blessings. It's dark as fuck (I've not read it, but I know a fair bit about it), but it has emotional growth, recovery from trauma, and merfolk. It has a positive message underneath an entire novel's worth of suffering and recovery. What you've described just sounds like suffering and trauma, but now just with more people. So if you really want to take this in a different direction, some type of rebellion, escape, give them at least a pseudo-HEA, catharsis, even if it's just they realize they actually love this life, and it's worth the trade-off (probably not as satisfying to readers, because it has a very dark trauma-acceptance level to it, but it's an option).

 

[NuclearFairy]

Take @NuclearFairy's Neptune's Blessings. It's dark as fuck (I've not read it, but I know a fair bit about it), but it has emotional growth, recovery from trauma, and merfolk. It has a positive message underneath an entire novel's worth of suffering and recovery. What you've described just sounds like suffering and trauma, but now just with more people. So if you really want to take this in a different direction, some type of rebellion, escape, give them at least a pseudo-HEA, catharsis, even if it's just they realize they actually love this life, and it's worth the trade-off (probably not as satisfying to readers, because it has a very dark trauma-acceptance level to it, but it's an option).

Notably, Neptune's Blessings is very nearly 100k words long, but it does have lighter moments mixed in and he does escape in the end. Also, the tonal shift between it and the sequel I'm writing is so big that I'm trying to make the sequel readable as a stand alone.

Which is why I'm not sure I can help in this thread. Keeping the darkness going is difficult without some light to highlight it and give you a breather. After a while, I'd either get burned out, or become inured.