Mental Illness

[BiBunny]

<rant> I had an appointment with a therapist for tomorrow, until she dropped me, yesterday, because she doesn't take my insurance. (There was some confusion.) I checked my provider's website and found several possibilities...except the first three no longer accept my insurance and the next one isn't accepting new patients (the website is obviously out of date and it's impossible to report it ). I called the next two group practices and had to leave messages. 24 hours later and no call-backs at all.

WTF is the deal with psychiatrists? It seems that precious few of them take ANY kind of insurance, let alone mine. I know the reimbursements are low, but doesn't anyone just want to help people? My faith in humanity is really low right now. </rant>

Did you have any luck finding someone to see yet? (I hope so!)

Honestly? I get my meds from my regular doctor, not a psychiatrist. It's maybe not the ideal situation, but she's the one who prescribed them in the first place, so I have no problem getting refills or whatever.

But, yeah, I do it that way because a.) I don't have insurance and psychiatrists want upwards of $100-$200 per 10-minute visit vs. $50-ish to see her (and I can also get refills on stuff like asthma meds in the same visit!), b.) I don't have to have an appointment to see her; I just have to show up, c.) she doesn't make me "come back next week" every time I go see her, unlike literally every other doctor in the history of ever, because she knows I don't have insurance, d.) she is also very good about prescribing meds that don't cost much, both for my psych meds and for things like sinus infections or whatever (and she'll also give out samples like mad if she has them) because, like I said, no insurance, and e.) she's kind and doesn't treat me like a crazy person, even though I undoubtedly am one.

Of course, she's also located in the county where I'm from, as opposed to the county where I live now. So, basically, she's out in the middle of nowhere and is, I suppose, used to having to serve whatever purpose is necessary for her patients, LOL. I know most plain old family doctors probably won't do that.

Psychiatrists really are the worst, though. "Yes, let me charge $200 to see a patient for ten minutes, make them come back twice a month at $200 a pop for no real reason, only work 15 hours a week, be assy about what kind of insurance I'll accept, and keep a constant backlog of patients so that new patients--if I'm accepting any at all--have to wait at least two months to even get an appointment. I AM TOTALLY HELPING PEOPLE HERE."

This is why I wish psychologists with Ph.D.s were allowed to prescribe meds. I know they can in some states, but not all of them, unfortunately. It's not so much that they're necessarily better, just that there are more of them, so the wait to see them wouldn't be nearly so long.

 

[desertslave]

Did you have any luck finding someone to see yet? (I hope so!)

Honestly? I get my meds from my regular doctor, not a psychiatrist. It's maybe not the ideal situation, but she's the one who prescribed them in the first place, so I have no problem getting refills or whatever.

But, yeah, I do it that way because a.) I don't have insurance and psychiatrists want upwards of $100-$200 per 10-minute visit vs. $50-ish to see her (and I can also get refills on stuff like asthma meds in the same visit!), b.) I don't have to have an appointment to see her; I just have to show up, c.) she doesn't make me "come back next week" every time I go see her, unlike literally every other doctor in the history of ever, because she knows I don't have insurance, d.) she is also very good about prescribing meds that don't cost much, both for my psych meds and for things like sinus infections or whatever (and she'll also give out samples like mad if she has them) because, like I said, no insurance, and e.) she's kind and doesn't treat me like a crazy person, even though I undoubtedly am one.

Of course, she's also located in the county where I'm from, as opposed to the county where I live now. So, basically, she's out in the middle of nowhere and is, I suppose, used to having to serve whatever purpose is necessary for her patients, LOL. I know most plain old family doctors probably won't do that.

Psychiatrists really are the worst, though. "Yes, let me charge $200 to see a patient for ten minutes, make them come back twice a month at $200 a pop for no real reason, only work 15 hours a week, be assy about what kind of insurance I'll accept, and keep a constant backlog of patients so that new patients--if I'm accepting any at all--have to wait at least two months to even get an appointment. I AM TOTALLY HELPING PEOPLE HERE."

This is why I wish psychologists with Ph.D.s were allowed to prescribe meds. I know they can in some states, but not all of them, unfortunately. It's not so much that they're necessarily better, just that there are more of them, so the wait to see them wouldn't be nearly so long.

No luck yet. Not a single returned call from the 4 messages I've left with various practices. It was my generalist who got me started on my previous med, but his PA doesn't feel comfortable continuing me without at least a therapist for, well, therapy. I completely respect that but..damn! I'm going to ask for my next appointment to be with my doc instead of the PA and see what we can do. I'm also going to call both my insurer and the referring agency I saw in the ER and see if they can shake someone loose.

Your doc sounds like my first work-doc. He was wonderful about sliding scales, being mindful of what a patient could afford with prescriptions (we had a lot of retirees and low-income patients), and taking whatever samples the drug reps would give us. Heck, I didn't pay for birth control pills the entire time I worked for him and a few years after!

My cousin is a clinical psychologist, wayyyy over in MA. It always makes me chuckle, because he's one of the most anxious, neurotic people I've ever known. My brother is tight with him...a drawback in my mind. Bro tried that "reflective listening" on me once, several summers ago (learned from my Cuz), and I almost decked him, because I knew what he was trying to do.

I had lunch with a good friend today, who has now become "gooder" (as Master would say). She's been going through some tough stuff with her kids and health issues due to being T-boned several months ago (and losing some of her mad artist skills as a result). We kvetched, we cried, we laughed. Way better than therapy and all it cost was loaded nachos and two drinks!

 

[FurryFury]

I've migraine like sinus headaches, also ocular migraines, one while doing a program. The second doesn't hurt but it's odd but doesn't hurt. A bit disorienting but the show must go on.

 

[desertslave]

In my determination to "self help" I'm trying to do a few things.

1) Keep a health journal: presently tracking my fasting and mid-day blood sugars and a food diary to try to get the diabetes under control. I'm all over the place, and I have no doubt that's affecting my mood and energy levels.

2) Keep a "Goals Group" journal: Every morning we had a "Goals Group" right after breakfast. In it we all had to announce our mood so far (lucky for them it was post-caffeine) and what our goal was for the day. In the evening we did the same thing, reporting on whether we'd met the goal or not. It was a good way to get us to talk with each other, and to figure ourselves out to a certain extent.

The one problem is that I dislike being so preoccupied with myself, but at the same time I have a bad tendency to overthink stuff that doesn't really need or deserve so much attention. With the journals, I'm hoping I can take inventory, in a sense, then walk away and live my life for the day. I'm also trying to self-learn some cognitive-behavioral therapy (I giggle every time I think about "doing CBT.")

At least it's something more constructive than my growing desire to present myself at some of the practices that won't take my insurance and sharing some of my pithier thoughts with them.

 

[FurryFury]

These look like good things to be doing!

In my determination to "self help" I'm trying to do a few things.

1) Keep a health journal: presently tracking my fasting and mid-day blood sugars and a food diary to try to get the diabetes under control. I'm all over the place, and I have no doubt that's affecting my mood and energy levels.

2) Keep a "Goals Group" journal: Every morning we had a "Goals Group" right after breakfast. In it we all had to announce our mood so far (lucky for them it was post-caffeine) and what our goal was for the day. In the evening we did the same thing, reporting on whether we'd met the goal or not. It was a good way to get us to talk with each other, and to figure ourselves out to a certain extent.

The one problem is that I dislike being so preoccupied with myself, but at the same time I have a bad tendency to overthink stuff that doesn't really need or deserve so much attention. With the journals, I'm hoping I can take inventory, in a sense, then walk away and live my life for the day. I'm also trying to self-learn some cognitive-behavioral therapy (I giggle every time I think about "doing CBT.")

At least it's something more constructive than my growing desire to present myself at some of the practices that won't take my insurance and sharing some of my pithier thoughts with them.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[desertslave]

I swear I'm ready to channel my inner Domme (don't laugh) and start swinging and taking names at these agencies and websites! I'm in between spitting mad and a crying jag because I can't seem to get anywhere useful. Three unreturned calls, four places that don't want my insurance (despite saying they do on the insurance website), one that I would have to drive 50 miles for (each way), and two that could see me but not until the end of July/August.



No wonder I'm nuts?

 

[Terranim]

I swear I'm ready to channel my inner Domme (don't laugh) and start swinging and taking names at these agencies and websites! I'm in between spitting mad and a crying jag because I can't seem to get anywhere useful. Three unreturned calls, four places that don't want my insurance (despite saying they do on the insurance website), one that I would have to drive 50 miles for (each way), and two that could see me but not until the end of July/August.



No wonder I'm nuts?

((Hugs))

You're not nuts. You're just dealing with people who are nuts.

 

[midwestyankee]

I swear I'm ready to channel my inner Domme (don't laugh) and start swinging and taking names at these agencies and websites! I'm in between spitting mad and a crying jag because I can't seem to get anywhere useful. Three unreturned calls, four places that don't want my insurance (despite saying they do on the insurance website), one that I would have to drive 50 miles for (each way), and two that could see me but not until the end of July/August.



No wonder I'm nuts?

And people wonder why I advocate for universal health care.

 

[desertslave]

((Hugs))

You're not nuts. You're just dealing with people who are nuts.

Greedy bastards, more likely.

The Universe answered me, though. The one last phone call I made today was returned, and I have an appointment on June 10th! I am sooooo relieved!!!

 

[BiBunny]

Greedy bastards, more likely.

The Universe answered me, though. The one last phone call I made today was returned, and I have an appointment on June 10th! I am sooooo relieved!!!

So glad to hear this.

Seriously, though, I've come to the conclusion that nobody really wants to help us. They just want us to be someone else's problem--preferably the morgue's, so there are fewer of us to bother anyone.

 

[Terranim]

Greedy bastards, more likely.

The Universe answered me, though. The one last phone call I made today was returned, and I have an appointment on June 10th! I am sooooo relieved!!!

I am very glad to hear this! I hope it goes well!

 

[desertslave]

So glad to hear this.

Seriously, though, I've come to the conclusion that nobody really wants to help us. They just want us to be someone else's problem--preferably the morgue's, so there are fewer of us to bother anyone.

Unless, of course, we can afford to pay them.

 

[BiBunny]

Unless, of course, we can afford to pay them.

Well, naturally. What kind of monsters do you take them for?

 

[desertslave]

And people wonder why I advocate for universal health care.

I'm right with you!!!! Have been for a very long time. This whole mess has just been further eye-opening and validation of my convictions. After 20 years in various medical settings, I have strong opinions.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Did you have any luck finding someone to see yet? (I hope so!)

Honestly? I get my meds from my regular doctor, not a psychiatrist. It's maybe not the ideal situation, but she's the one who prescribed them in the first place, so I have no problem getting refills or whatever.

But, yeah, I do it that way because a.) I don't have insurance and psychiatrists want upwards of $100-$200 per 10-minute visit vs. $50-ish to see her (and I can also get refills on stuff like asthma meds in the same visit!), b.) I don't have to have an appointment to see her; I just have to show up, c.) she doesn't make me "come back next week" every time I go see her, unlike literally every other doctor in the history of ever, because she knows I don't have insurance, d.) she is also very good about prescribing meds that don't cost much, both for my psych meds and for things like sinus infections or whatever (and she'll also give out samples like mad if she has them) because, like I said, no insurance, and e.) she's kind and doesn't treat me like a crazy person, even though I undoubtedly am one.

Of course, she's also located in the county where I'm from, as opposed to the county where I live now. So, basically, she's out in the middle of nowhere and is, I suppose, used to having to serve whatever purpose is necessary for her patients, LOL. I know most plain old family doctors probably won't do that.

Psychiatrists really are the worst, though. "Yes, let me charge $200 to see a patient for ten minutes, make them come back twice a month at $200 a pop for no real reason, only work 15 hours a week, be assy about what kind of insurance I'll accept, and keep a constant backlog of patients so that new patients--if I'm accepting any at all--have to wait at least two months to even get an appointment. I AM TOTALLY HELPING PEOPLE HERE."

This is why I wish psychologists with Ph.D.s were allowed to prescribe meds. I know they can in some states, but not all of them, unfortunately. It's not so much that they're necessarily better, just that there are more of them, so the wait to see them wouldn't be nearly so long.

Psychologists and psychiatrists serve different functions. Psychiatrists dispense meds and have a little bit of knowledge about drug interactions. As a psychologist I assess intelligence and other mental traits, and have expert knowledge of personality, family systems, and behavior in general. Psychiatrists deal with moods and mental pathology of an organic nature. I deal with action options. We're talking farmer vs chef.

 

[BiBunny]

Psychologists and psychiatrists serve different functions. Psychiatrists dispense meds and have a little bit of knowledge about drug interactions. As a psychologist I assess intelligence and other mental traits, and have expert knowledge of personality, family systems, and behavior in general. Psychiatrists deal with moods and mental pathology of an organic nature. I deal with action options. We're talking farmer vs chef.

Yeah, I know the difference between the two. There are some states that allow psychologists to prescribe psychiatric medication, though. I promise, I'm not just randomly pulling things out of my ass.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Roleplay_Mom]

I think "mental illness ... [being] rampant in Western Society today" is composed of a number of factors, though I wonder if it's truly more prevalent in our society than others, or rather more diagnosed and fragmented. Among those factors, I believe, are these:

• Overcrowding. It seems there is a higher proportion of "mentally ill" people in urban and mega-urban surroundings than in more rural settings. Studies have shown that when a population of animals, particularly carnivorous or omnivorous animals, grows to a certain density, their behavior becomes equivalent to human "mental illness." Strangely, a few of those studies have indicated that if individuals from that overcrowded situation are removed to a lower density population, many of them revert to "normal" behavior patterns.
• Overdiagnosis. I believe (without any studies to back up my belief) that the high proportion of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc., to our population as a whole contributes to their (the doctors, etc.) "needing" to justify their existence (and lifestyle) by diagnosing even the smallest psychological issues as being important and needing either therapy or drugs or both. Just as the U.S., with its highest per capita ranking in lawyersopulation, leads the world in lawsuits (see "frivolous" in any dictionary ), I think the high number of medical/psychological professionals to population in Western society contributes to the high number of diagnoses.
• General wimpiness in a largely sedentary population. Western society has become, for the most part, a society of people who sit on their duffs WAY too much rather than getting out and *doing,* as our forebears did. I think this in itself contributes to a certain portion of the mental illnesses we suffer, as it is not our nature - as shown by tens of thousands of years of historic and pre-historic struggles to survive - to simply sit around. Again, I don't have "facks 'n figgers" to illustrate this, but a lifetime of observing people has led me to believe that there is a much lower percentage of "mental illness" in people who lead a vigorous, active life than in those who spend the majority of their time in a chair answering phones, pounding keyboards, or tapping figures and formulae into spreadsheets.

I'm sure there are other factors that contribute; those are just three that spring immediately to *my* mind.

My son was diagnosed ADHD/depression (and *very* high IQ, higher than mine or his mother's) early on. Through a myriad of cycles of psychoactive drugs and talk therapy, he seemed to find little or no relief from his symptoms, though he did try and sometimes succeeded for short periods of time. He essentially divorced me when his mother and I divorced, and I've had no contact with him for about a decade. I hope he's found a way (or wayS) to deal with his issues and is becoming (or has become) a happy and productive adult in whatever ways can make him happy and give him peace. I empathize with your and her battles, and wish both of you all the best in life.

I agree with much of what you said. I'll also suggest that there is a financial incentive in this country to be diagnosed as mentally disabled. I know there are legitimate cases galore; but in my local school system, 25% of the children are in special ed classes. Really??? 1 out of 4?

In addition, many of these children brag about getting their "crazy check" - their words, not mine.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Yeah, I know the difference between the two. There are some states that allow psychologists to prescribe psychiatric medication, though. I promise, I'm not just randomly pulling things out of my ass.

I apologize if I implied anything derogatory for I meant to distinguish the respective disciplines as to traditional functions NOT how theyre used.

 

[desertslave]

So many thoughts to comment on.

I'll be 55 in a bit over a month. Hence, I grew up during a time when boys were being diagnosed with ADHD (which was just plain 'hyperactive' back in the day), but girls were largely overlooked. I had horrible times in school, was regularly labeled an underachiever/daydreamer, but nobody ever thought to find me a diagnosis. I was finally diagnosed ADD in my freshman year of college, and treated with Ritalin and behavior therapy. It was like a light going on in a shuttered room! I could concentrate, even on boring stuff. I could plan and structure my time and do what needed to be done. I went from a B/C student (who tested 'remarkably well') to straight A's. (Yes, I've been invited to MENSA...obnoxiously boring people for the most part.) I've been called too smart for my own good, too.

Part of my troubles, when I was younger, was horrible impulse control, compulsive thrill-seeking, and just plain not fitting in with 'normal.' As a kid I desperately wanted to "belong" and likely became depressed without ever understanding it. After a while, those particular chemical pathways become worn, like ruts in a dirt road. Being given anti-depressants was another light bulb.

Crashing so hard a few weeks ago was oddly comfortable, til it got too extreme. A kind of internal 'oh, they know me here' sensation, til it got too carried away.

Now I'm in a whole new wilderness that I don't understand. Adjusting from one med to another leaves me feeling so weird and unfamiliar with myself. Sometimes things feel entirely too bright and sharp. Othertimes I feel dull and loggy and the vertigo leaves me queasy. I want to turn it all OFF, but don't know how. I don't even have the right language for this. It's frustrating, all by itself. Asking for help and being denied by the pros I would expect to have the answers makes it worse. I should turn to Master, though I don't at all expect him to be my shrink, but there are troubles between us that have turned my rock into slippery, treacherous ground.

I feel so fucking alone and confused. And scared shitless. Making everything just stop is...like a silken, enticing voice, beckoning and promising that this is the right way. Darkness becomes incredibly seductive, especially compared to all of the overwhelming pain. Bad pain, not the kind I still believe that I need, that really could set me right again. Something else I can't have.

Fuck!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So many thoughts to comment on.

I'll be 55 in a bit over a month. Hence, I grew up during a time when boys were being diagnosed with ADHD (which was just plain 'hyperactive' back in the day), but girls were largely overlooked. I had horrible times in school, was regularly labeled an underachiever/daydreamer, but nobody ever thought to find me a diagnosis. I was finally diagnosed ADD in my freshman year of college, and treated with Ritalin and behavior therapy. It was like a light going on in a shuttered room! I could concentrate, even on boring stuff. I could plan and structure my time and do what needed to be done. I went from a B/C student (who tested 'remarkably well') to straight A's. (Yes, I've been invited to MENSA...obnoxiously boring people for the most part.) I've been called too smart for my own good, too.

Part of my troubles, when I was younger, was horrible impulse control, compulsive thrill-seeking, and just plain not fitting in with 'normal.' As a kid I desperately wanted to "belong" and likely became depressed without ever understanding it. After a while, those particular chemical pathways become worn, like ruts in a dirt road. Being given anti-depressants was another light bulb.

Crashing so hard a few weeks ago was oddly comfortable, til it got too extreme. A kind of internal 'oh, they know me here' sensation, til it got too carried away.

Now I'm in a whole new wilderness that I don't understand. Adjusting from one med to another leaves me feeling so weird and unfamiliar with myself. Sometimes things feel entirely too bright and sharp. Othertimes I feel dull and loggy and the vertigo leaves me queasy. I want to turn it all OFF, but don't know how. I don't even have the right language for this. It's frustrating, all by itself. Asking for help and being denied by the pros I would expect to have the answers makes it worse. I should turn to Master, though I don't at all expect him to be my shrink, but there are troubles between us that have turned my rock into slippery, treacherous ground.

I feel so fucking alone and confused. And scared shitless. Making everything just stop is...like a silken, enticing voice, beckoning and promising that this is the right way. Darkness becomes incredibly seductive, especially compared to all of the overwhelming pain. Bad pain, not the kind I still believe that I need, that really could set me right again. Something else I can't have.

Fuck!

I studied ADHD in grad school (along with animal genitalia). I know every theory for it. But here's my thinking on it, and I believe I'm right. All roads lead to Rome and one of the roads (the road youre on) involves too many neuron clusters. You catch more fish in your net than most of us. You catch the big fishes and the tadpoles and the whales and the sharks.

 

[desertslave]

I know we aren't there to hold your physical hand or do what else you need, but you are still not alone. You can contact me anytime. If you feel very urgent I can give you a phone number to just talk to someone ( though would be an expensive international call).

Can you show your Master this? He might still want you to communicate fully, even if he doesn't feel like entering into discussion much. I don't know how your relationship works, so this is just a suggestion, not a presumption.

I did do exactly that. He held me and hugged me and told me we will get through this.

I seriously think that this new med is NOT the one for me. I see my regular doc tomorrow and, with his oversight, I'm going to taper off it and start over. Clearly I'm feeling worse, now, than I was either before or after my inpatient week (except for the night that put me there). Not acceptable!