Mental Illness

[FurryFury]

Sounds like a good thing to investigate.

Thanks.

FurryFury, there are meds available in shot form now. I think one shot can last for a whole month or at least a couple of weeks.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Furry, I have been thinking about your post a lot and I wish I could offer some helpful thoughts for a challenging time. The only thing I thought of was have you ever tried setting up cameras and then showed her the video so that she can see her behavior? Maybe if she could see it for herself it would help her gain perspective without tangling it with her emotions about everyone else?

My best wishes and comfort to you. That 11th hour feeling of being exhausted and out if options just sucks. I hope you are allowing everyone breaks and space to recover sometimes. It is so important.

 

[FurryFury]

Good idea.

This week I started a new job and my girl went to her apartment.

She seems to be doing okay.

Her functioning goes from high to very low and you never know where she is going to be at any given moment. It can change in a second and then back again.

Furry, I have been thinking about your post a lot and I wish I could offer some helpful thoughts for a challenging time. The only thing I thought of was have you ever tried setting up cameras and then showed her the video so that she can see her behavior? Maybe if she could see it for herself it would help her gain perspective without tangling it with her emotions about everyone else?

My best wishes and comfort to you. That 11th hour feeling of being exhausted and out if options just sucks. I hope you are allowing everyone breaks and space to recover sometimes. It is so important.

 

[BiBunny]

Good idea.

This week I started a new job and my girl went to her apartment.

She seems to be doing okay.

Her functioning goes from high to very low and you never know where she is going to be at any given moment. It can change in a second and then back again.

Fingers crossed!


I just wanted to pop in and say that it is absolutely insane how much this SAD light has helped me. It's such a little thing that you wouldn't think it'd make that big of a difference. But OMG, I don't know that I've ever been this productive and stable during the winter.

Admittedly, I still go off the rails right before my period, but I can deal with 4 or 5 days of insanity per month vs. two or three times that amount.

Speaking of which, has anyone had any luck treating PMDD? My doctor feels sure that this is yet another problem that I have, and I tend to agree with her. So far, we've done nothing but raise my Wellbutrin to help with it, though. If anyone's got any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.

Anyway, I just wanted to stick my head in and mention this light thingie. If you're depressed--particularly with seasonal depression, but I'm told it helps even if your problem isn't seasonal--and haven't tried it, it might be worth a shot.

Hope everybody's hanging in there ok.

 

[FurryFury]

So glad the light is helping! *HUGS*

Fingers crossed!


I just wanted to pop in and say that it is absolutely insane how much this SAD light has helped me. It's such a little thing that you wouldn't think it'd make that big of a difference. But OMG, I don't know that I've ever been this productive and stable during the winter.

Admittedly, I still go off the rails right before my period, but I can deal with 4 or 5 days of insanity per month vs. two or three times that amount.

Speaking of which, has anyone had any luck treating PMDD? My doctor feels sure that this is yet another problem that I have, and I tend to agree with her. So far, we've done nothing but raise my Wellbutrin to help with it, though. If anyone's got any suggestions, I'd be more than happy to hear them.

Anyway, I just wanted to stick my head in and mention this light thingie. If you're depressed--particularly with seasonal depression, but I'm told it helps even if your problem isn't seasonal--and haven't tried it, it might be worth a shot.

Hope everybody's hanging in there ok.

 

[FurryFury]

Something really scared me this week. So much that I didn't even want to share it here but now I can. LOL

So my girl did okay this week at her apartment on her own from Monday - Friday. Some of you may remember that one doctor has suggested that she might have schizophrenia or something like that. So I was worried about her.

She took care of a few things and seemed to do okay.

But when I picked her up, she said she woke one time, her feet were blue and very dirty but she had no idea how it happened.

Well that scared the whowhatty out of me. I'm thinking she went out in the cold, and did who knows what but didn't even know it.

I got her home Friday night. Saturday she comes out of her room and says it happened again. It was then I realised she was wearing and sleeping in new blue jeans. That's what was causing it. NOT some scary thing after all. What a relief!

Now why she couldn't logic that out Idk.

 

[KoPilot]

I just wanted to pop in and say that it is absolutely insane how much this SAD light has helped me. It's such a little thing that you wouldn't think it'd make that big of a difference. But OMG, I don't know that I've ever been this productive and stable during the winter.

Damn, I'm going to keep this in mind for when I end up moving up north where winter has 8 hours of daylight at the solstice, and half the number of sunny days than I currently get annually.

--

So I've been on my SSRI for about 3 months now, and I think it's working great. Unfortunately, one of the main symptoms I went in for originally hasn't hardly been affected yet: my fatigue. After talking with my mom (who had mono), she seems to agree with my assessment that I might have an autoimmune disorder or chronic fatigue. And from everything I hear about getting diagnosed with such things, I've got a long road ahead of me. :\

 

[BiBunny]

Damn, I'm going to keep this in mind for when I end up moving up north where winter has 8 hours of daylight at the solstice, and half the number of sunny days than I currently get annually.

That sounds like a good idea.

So I've been on my SSRI for about 3 months now, and I think it's working great. Unfortunately, one of the main symptoms I went in for originally hasn't hardly been affected yet: my fatigue. After talking with my mom (who had mono), she seems to agree with my assessment that I might have an autoimmune disorder or chronic fatigue. And from everything I hear about getting diagnosed with such things, I've got a long road ahead of me. :\

Ugh, God. I hope that's not the case.

I used to use a full spectrum light. It was particularly good for getting myself moving first thing in the morning.

I stopped using it entirely as my light sensitivity got steadily worse in connection with migraines.

The light sensitivity has greatly improved these past few months, but still not enough that I can stand having that particular lamp in the room... if there were a way to ensure it was entirely indirect I could probably handle it.

I actually just use a blue SAD light, rather than a full-spectrum lamp. I don't know if that'd make it more bearable for you or not. Mine's got a USB cable that plugs into my laptop. It's supposed to clip to the top of the monitor, but it blinds me when it's that close. So I just set it about 3 feet away from me, and it works out fine.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Something really scared me this week. So much that I didn't even want to share it here but now I can. LOL

So my girl did okay this week at her apartment on her own from Monday - Friday. Some of you may remember that one doctor has suggested that she might have schizophrenia or something like that. So I was worried about her.

She took care of a few things and seemed to do okay.

But when I picked her up, she said she woke one time, her feet were blue and very dirty but she had no idea how it happened.

Well that scared the whowhatty out of me. I'm thinking she went out in the cold, and did who knows what but didn't even know it.

I got her home Friday night. Saturday she comes out of her room and says it happened again. It was then I realised she was wearing and sleeping in new blue jeans. That's what was causing it. NOT some scary thing after all. What a relief!

Now why she couldn't logic that out Idk.

Oh wow. I am so glad it turned out to be something so innocent. I would have been terrified, too. Plus the mental struggle of whether to bring her home to watch over her.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks!

Oh wow. I am so glad it turned out to be something so innocent. I would have been terrified, too. Plus the mental struggle of whether to bring her home to watch over her.

 

[BiBunny]

It might be more manageable actually. Might also work to get one that's meant to be indirect to start with, rather than trying to contort the desk lamp variety I had before.

Does it use LEDs?

It's this thingie. It was bought for me through Amazon, though. There's a good bit on info on the site about the thing and how it works and the science and blah, blah, blah. (Site itself is kinda cheesy-looking, though.)


Cracked posted this today: 5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression. I thought it was pretty good.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Cracked posted this today: 5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression. I thought it was pretty good.

Thanks for sharing that.

 

[FurryFury]

So good news, my girl does not have brain damage or schizophrenia or manic depression. She does have ADHD, something like major depression disorder or maybe medical depression disorder and anxiety.

The neuro who basically was saying what she had been diagnosed with didn't cover her issues was wrong and one of those people who doesn't believe ADHD exists.

The psychiatrist says one reason why schizophrenia is so diagnosed now is because people rush to judgement too early and the same for manic depression.

So that's the good news. The bad news is that although she is doing better, she is still not up to finishing college or doing much of anything. I've told her to get a job or go back to college (but only if she will be able to pass courses) or when her expensive lease is up in July she needs to move home until she figures out how to make her life work.

In the past, upon finding out that she has no physical reason for her issues she has changed quickly, sometimes over night and fix herself somehow. I'm hoping for that now.

 

[BiBunny]

The psychiatrist says one reason why schizophrenia is so diagnosed now is because people rush to judgement too early and the same for manic depression.

I'm glad that your daughter doesn't have brain damage or a severe mental illness, but when people say shit like that, it drives me up the wall. Especially when professionals do it.

I spent 26 years sick and desperate. I would've loved to have had someone "rush to judgment too early."

I'm sorry. I'm totally not disparaging you or your daughter in any way. I've just been dealing with a bunch of bullshit from my mother about how what's wrong with me is all in my head, and how I've clearly convinced the doctor that there's something wrong when there isn't, and it's just rubbing me the wrong way.

I'll continue to keep y'all in my thoughts.

 

[FurryFury]

Sorry it rubbed you the wrong way. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts.

I'm glad that your daughter doesn't have brain damage or a severe mental illness, but when people say shit like that, it drives me up the wall. Especially when professionals do it.

I spent 26 years sick and desperate. I would've loved to have had someone "rush to judgment too early."

I'm sorry. I'm totally not disparaging you or your daughter in any way. I've just been dealing with a bunch of bullshit from my mother about how what's wrong with me is all in my head, and how I've clearly convinced the doctor that there's something wrong when there isn't, and it's just rubbing me the wrong way.

I'll continue to keep y'all in my thoughts.

 

[BiBunny]

Sorry it rubbed you the wrong way. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts.

You're welcome. It's totally not your fault. I'm just having one of those days. Weeks. Something.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Big hugs for Fury and Bunny.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I don't know if I am well or not, I am better than I was and I want off these meds, I hate taking the suckers. Yes, I will go back if I drop, but wish me luck! Xxx

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks! *HUGS*

Big hugs for Fury and Bunny.

 

[CutieMouse]

I am so freaking tired. And there's so much going on, I don't even know where to start...

On top of the mountain of emotional/ financial/ health/ work/ blahblahblah weight I'm carrying [alone], The Boy is falling apart. He moved home with me in June, started college in August, and I pulled him out in late October & started weekly therapy. (Thank god my old therapist had a new intern who could see him pro bono.)

So he's had weekly, high quality therapy for a while, without much change. We added meds a month ago... brief improvement, followed by a complete and total breakdown/ crash this week. [Meds will now be tweaked.]

I've been letting him do his own thing with the therapist, because he's 19. I kept thinking he's an adult - there's only so much hand holding I will do.

But with the little fall-apart the other day, I sat down with his therapist and we started comparing notes. He was classified with Aspergers through the school system years ago, but to my knowledge his father never did any followup. Which means he has no formal diagnosis, which means no right to disability resources, inclusion in medical studies, didn't qualify for a student aid in college (which he desperately needed), etc.

She wants a full medical workup done (hopefully I can get a physical this week), followed by an assessment and diagnosis if possible because his issues aren't just depression and anxiety... We're looking at Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, depression and generalized anxiety, plus he's painfully underweight so there may be thyroid or gut issues, as well. He's always been underweight, and always "forgotten" to eat. I can explain EVERY SINGLE DAY why it's important to eat a variety of foods, and have something to eat (high protein, complex carb) every 3 hours... and I'll come home from 8 hours away to find out he's eaten a sleeve of crackers and had a couple glasses of water. Because it didn't occur to him to make a sandwich. Or eggs. Or add peanut butter to the crackers. Even though we talked about it the day before, the night before, that morning... (Which is one of the multiple reasons his therapist wants to find out what *functional* age he's at, compared to biological age.)

His father is so bitter towards me, that he won't discuss anything with me. And his attitude towards The Boy is he just needs to stop being lazy/ refusing to grow up and FIX IT. His last advice was to only go on antidepressants as a last resort, because that's not really fixing what's wrong, it's just taking the easy way out. (Dude. My family's medical history includes bi-polar I, borderline personality disorder, documented clinical depression, and suicide attempts. WHY DO YOU THINK I DON'T ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE VERY SCREWED UP, UN-MEDICATED AND ABUSIVE PEOPLE ANYMORE?!?)

I've always said he's going to have a longer adolescence than most, just because he's The Boy, but hearing a therapist say he's not functioning at age level and we need to get a baseline of how functional he is, is overwhelming and heartbreaking.

I've been trying to explain The Boy to people for years, but without all the necessary information/ idea of what resources he needs, and the most common response has been "oh, boys are just different..." There's "different" and there's "not okay". And my wonderful, brilliant, quirky, lives-in-his-own-bubble son is not okay. And right now I'm not sure if *I'm* okay enough to parent him through this.

I'm really tired.

 

[BiBunny]

Oh, Mouse. *Hugs*

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS* for Cutiemouse and The Boy.

 

[marieR19]

Oh goodness CutieMouse. *huuuuugs!* *sends lots and lots and lots of vibes*

Short update: Mentally I'm doing much better. Finally! Doctor changed my anxiety meds from 3x/day to "as needed", which actually seems to work better (and I haven't even needed to take one in like three days). Started Seraquel almost a month ago and it seems to be helping a lot. I've been sick with a bad ear infection lately so I've been crying most days, but the actual depression is so much more manageable.

I was supposed to go back to work for the first time in 3ish months at the beginning of Feb, but I've been frustratingly sick. I'm really *really* nervous about going back, if it weren't for rapidly-disappearing money I'd probably keep finding reasons to put it off... I made "glitter jars" last week at the urging of a friend, to stare at/focus on when I get anxious/upset, and I'll be taking one to work when I go back. *crosses fingers*

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Huge hugs Mouse.

Well, the removal of meds is going well. I have done a very slow withdrawal and so far no negative stuff mood wise. It is a little less stable, but marginally so. I still have depression, but the anxiety issues have abated, much of that, I think, is a change in circumstances and a person who was toxic to me, is no longer in my life.
I am hoping that it keeps going positively

 

[FurryFury]

Glad things are doing better for you Sweetdaisymae.