Mental Exercise

[MissTaken]

I have enjoyed a correspondance with an experienced Dom via e mail. Our contacts are generally a sharing of views and his mentoring me as I grow. Early on, he stated that "The first step is the mind. Always. If you can sit down and realize what you want, you are already two thirds of the way there."

The following is an exercise he gave me:


"A "sex-genie"
has popped out of a bottle. He/she has offered you 3
wishes for fufilling any of your fantasies. You may
choose any 3 things, scenes, etc, and there is no way
you will be refused, exposed, nor will there be any
long term affect to yourself or "those others"
involved after the event is complete. You can do/have
done anything, with anyone, in any way, with no guilt,
fear of discovery, or payment of any kind required. What are your wishes?

Do not tell anyone unless there is a deeply felt need to
share these. "

 

[Savage Kitten]

The object of this exercise is...?"

Is this a trick question?? *grinz* Just teasin...

hmmm i think the object of this exercise is to get you to explore your fantasies. to help you lose your inhibitions or guilty feelings about them. but mainly to help you realize what they are so you will have a starting point.


am i right?? huh? huh? am i??

 

[MissTaken]

Oh shit!

I meant to edit out that part of the question

AFter all, I thought it was silly that he had already given the answer.

SK gets an A+.

 

[Magister]

Soooo...?

Feeling any particular need to share? *weg*

 

[MissTaken]

No.

Now, after several months of wonderful repartee and discussion about BDSM, my mentor has asked me to be his "on line" sub.

It makes me wonder if he ever read a word I wrote. I have always been specific with him concerning my needs for r/t and close proximity.

(I couldn't do an LTR)


So how goes it Magister? Let's hijack this thread.



I can't hijack it as it was started by me. How about re routing it?

 

[Magister]

Alright, let's take this thread to Tijuana! Viva la MissT! YeeHaw!

You want it rerouted, hon, I'll be happy to rout it anyplace you feel an urge... *weg*

 

[MissTaken]

Well, my dear friend, to re route to certain regions as yet unexplored would be a conundrum. I recognize that *weg*


It just really pisses me off about the "mentor." I would rather have continued our benign emails, sharing thoughts and ideas forever as opposed to his "offer."

Oh well.....there are other Doms in my midst who are only too happy to share!

n'est ce pas?

 

[lovetoread]

(I couldn't do an LTR)

Should I feel insulted?

I am assuming you mean a long distance romance (LDR),which when you are a sub,is a very hard thing to live with. If it wasnt for the fact that I am moving closer to mine,I couldnt do it either.

~LTR

 

[cymbidia]

It just really pisses me off about the "mentor." I would rather have continued our benign emails, sharing thoughts and ideas forever as opposed to his "offer."

Isn't it better to know that he wasn't really listening to you, my friend, *before* your emotions and hopes got any more tangled with him and the slow building of what was (could have been, might have been, fantasized about) between you?

This "meeting the right person" thing is harder for us than the vanilla folks. We not only have to match in all the more usual ways, our kinks have to match pretty well, too. It often takes time. It's often disappointing and deflating to be picky with regard to our potential partners but worth it in the long run when we *do* find someone who meets our needs.

I know you know all this, MissT, i'm just belaboring the obvious.

I share your determination to not get involved in a long distance relationship, MissT. I've just just spent weeks answering a whole flotilla of email inquiries into my available subbiehood with something akin to, "Thank you for your email but i'm afraid we live too far apart for anything of worth and heat to develop between us."

Physical proximity might be seen by some as a quite arbitrary measure by which to separate the sheep from the cows in terms of potentially suitable partners, but one has to begin somewhere, right? If your goal is a hot wet wildly fulfilling BDSM relationship, and if you feel you cannot attain that except with a face-to-face partner, then it's actually a very important and strikingly appropriate method to begin the culling.

It's been my #1 mechanism, too. I've always drawn an hour's radius around my house. Outside that radius and it's a no-go from the very beginning. I don't do LDR's.

Should I feel insulted?

You made me giggle while i was sipping hot tea!

Welcome to the BDSM forum, LTR.

 

[lovetoread]

You made me giggle while i was sipping hot tea!

Welcome to the BDSM forum, LTR.

Thanks for the welcome. I like the new place.

Be well.

 

[Magister]

I've known you for quite a while, MissT, m'love, and have long known of your adamant refusal to engage in LDRs. I hate that your other Dom friend was so dim as to think he would be the exception to that rule. Hell, if I wasn't, I know no other Dom could be! *weg*

you are very right, dearling... you have plenty of other friends, Dom and sub, who delight in your companionship, with no need to try to force a kind of relationship on you that you don't want.

Let me know how you want this train directed, hon, and I'll hijack the hell out of it! All aboard! Next stop... who knows?!!!

 

[MissTaken]

Should I feel insulted?

I am assuming you mean a long distance romance (LDR),which when you are a sub,is a very hard thing to live with. If it wasnt for the fact that I am moving closer to mine,I couldnt do it either.

~LTR

Oh! Thank you for pointing that out!

I certainly could do LTR! *wink*

Cym,
As always, your words bring some comfort even if you are reiterating what I know. It is good to know that I am understood somewhere and not completely alone in my fog.

Magister: You, my "dearling", might have known this had you been on instant messenger once in a while! As always, you remain a wonderful friend who knows me well. *hugs*

And next stop.....who knows??????

 

[RawHumor]

Damn, I was hoping you would reveal your answer to the exercise...

 

[OldAllisWD45]

back to the original question

the purpose of the exercise is to prioritize and to make you search for what you really want. The technique is used often, usually in the same way. You have three chances to have anything you want..... after those three are gone, its over. So it makes you think about what is really important to you. I think the purpose of this particular exercize was for you to explore wether or not a BDSM life was really for you.

I could be wrong......... but that is my opinion.

 

[MissTaken]

RawHumor: NOT! My three answers are locked away in a safe box for future consideration .


OldAllis: Of course, you are correct. I thought the excercise would be good fodder for thought for some who come here, lurking and wondering about themselves.

Even though my answers are private, I am still here

 

[morninggirl5]

Thanks, Miss T, for this thread. I haven't responded but you were right that bringing the question to the forefront gave many of us a pause and something to consider.

Now, if the psych major in me could be turned off so i could find my answers without analyzing them to the point that my brain hurts, i would be very happy.