Menopause and masochism

[Takki]

My life long lady no longer enjoys bdsm.

She has been an addict since the 80s.

If anyone else has been through this will her desires return?

 

[Hodes101]

Not been through it yet, but fingers crossed for you that it does.

 

[Takki]

It's been such fun!

 

[ScottishLass74]

I’m 50 and my libido is still strong but I find the prospect of the menopause quite depressing. The fact that this could potentially strip away something I really enjoy, it’s like waiting for a sword to fall.

 

[Takki]

I am not sure it's certain done deal.

My 55 year old ex lover was deeply orgasmic and very kinky but now insists kink never enters her mind and she can't be bothered to cum. This is from a woman whose libido was wonderfully powerful who could happily spend a whole day playing.

However another swears she is as active as ever but won't prove it.... which is very frustrating.

For some reason I have always believed you should fuck someone your own age but after a life time of delightful devilish deviance it's getting harder.

 

[Britva415]

What if libido and BDSM didn't have to have anything to do with each other?

Could post-menopausal nov-asexuals continue to enjoy sexless BDSM?

I mean, plenty of people enjoy BDSM without sex. Could people shift to that after ceasing an active sex life?

 

[Takki]

Are there? Is there no turn on at all?

For me getting incredibly turned on whilst indulging in BDSM is a rather central part of the whole thing. Sexully dominating a woman who is driven by lust and human connection to do the devilish things we are doing is what I love.

 

[Takki]

I’m 50 and my libido is still strong but I find the prospect of the menopause quite depressing. The fact that this could potentially strip away something I really enjoy, it’s like waiting for a sword to fall.

But no sign of this sword falling yet??

 

[Dearelliot]

My friend and pro domme, who did this for a lark, just stopped cold! She said, I hate myself, I've loved sex all of my life, and now that's gone...We parted ways a year later, and no change so after that, I have no idea if she took steps, or if they helped...I know I lost a great play partner.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Menopause can do totally random things. Create raging libido and rage if not fulfilled every hour, for example. Or tiredness which generally reduces libido.

HRT and vitamins may help. There's ways to combat vaginal dryness if that's an issue. My friends and I are dealing with it atm and it's not fun. Going short-sighted overnight was my worst problem so far...

 

[Takki]

Wheres the raging libido enhancing HRT treatment when I need it!

Kumquat not sure menopause does your eyes in! I have that issue.

Now my ex playmate says she is getting a lot more stuff done. She always was annoyingly over achieving.... whilst this made setting sexual challenges so much fun I now feel she is enjoying my suffering way to much!

I have just tried viagra.... back to being twenty something. What's the point of the patriarchy if I cant find a non vanilla someone to share my new found readiness!

.

 

[Takki]

My friend and pro domme, who did this for a lark, just stopped cold! She said, I hate myself, I've loved sex all of my life, and now that's gone...We parted ways a year later, and no change so after that, I have no idea if she took steps, or if they helped...I know I lost a great play partner.

Thats scary. As a 55 year old man I quite like the fact my brain is less sex obsessed but for real kinky people to just loose all desire and that wonderful driving urge...

 

[Dearelliot]

Thats scary. As a 55 year old man I quite like the fact my brain is less sex obsessed but for real kinky people to just loose all desire and that wonderful driving urge...

As I aged I wanted sex more but differently...I wanted to spend my time licking and tasting her...and screwing was less important.

 

[Masterdriver6963]

My life long lady no longer enjoys bdsm.

She has been an addict since the 80s.

If anyone else has been through this will her desires return?

It depends on the person. My sub is 63 had a hysterectomy 20 plus years ago. I won’t lie things did die down for a long time but after some research and different supplements she has gotten the fire back. Be patient and talk about it.