Men

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Rubyfruit]

DCL, which part of my post did you disagree with? The only advice there really was for CB not let go of her girlfriends.

I am of the belief that our mate cannot be everything for us. He/she cannot fulfill every need we have. Men and women communicate very differently from each other, and I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriends to lean on.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Ruby, I haven't let any of my friendships fall by the wayside, don't worry. I just whish everyone wasn't so damn busy.

I know. It's hard. Life gets so busy. I've been trying to get together with my best girlfriend for weeks now. It looks like it'll happen the end of April.

Good luck sweetie.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I hate to say it, but if you want as much as you give, you almost have to date women. Sure, there are *some* men out there who are incredibly giving, but it's not generally in their nature to be as giving as women are.

Hogswaddle. If a woman allows herself to be with an asshole man, why is it that it's not in men's nature to be giving? Of course it's in our nature. If it weren't we would never have invented toilet seats. Women (and men) should move away from people who can't give, not wait around wondering what the hell is wrong with their sex.

This is why girlfriends are so important. Never give up your girlfriends for a man.

Based on the above "men stink" thing your connotation (read "advice") here is that even if you do find a good guy who doesn't fart too much your primary source of confidence and counsel should still be the girls. Hogswaddle again. If the man you have isn't your El Dorado, your kindred heart, your single best companion, above girlfriends, mom and your cat, then you're not with the right guy.

Find the man, woman, husband, wife, partner to barricade with against a sea of troubles, to regard above all, who regards you above all. Find someone who is more concerned about you than him, and more concerned about the two of you together, than he is about you. That is a relationship, a bond, a trust, a marriage, that usurps all others.

Keep your girlfriends, covet your man, and be discretionary about both.

 

[Guest]

 

[Dhalgren]

Keep your girlfriends, covet your man, and be discretionary about both.


This is a worthy quote...maybe even a sig line.


Really though...I don’t think Ruby was saying “YAY! Girlfriends rule, Boyfriends drool..”

In my opinion I think she was very tactfully and subtly saying that we cannot and should not expect one person to be there for our every need and wants.

Sometimes we want so much attention from one single person when they themselves..aren’t necessarily aware of how much you rely on their company.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Rubyfruit]

Oh, DCL, I don't think men "stink." I love men. Adore them. I find them endlessly facinating and wonderful people to be around. I love the way their minds work and how they think.

Dhal hit it on the nail, and I think I clarified it above as well. Our mates cannot be everything for us, in my experience.

It has also been my experience that women are
generally more giving and nurturing, whether it be by societal forces or mother nature. And it's been pretty well documented that while men want to problem solve an emotional issue, women will simply listen to you. Sometimes that's what we need.

I'm saying that both our mates and our friends are important.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Find the man, woman, husband, wife, partner to barricade with against a sea of troubles, to regard above all, who regards you above all. Find someone who is more concerned about you than him, and more concerned about the two of you together, than he is about you. That is a relationship, a bond, a trust, a marriage, that usurps all others.

Keep your girlfriends, covet your man, and be discretionary about both.

I think that this is, quite possibly, the best advice I have ever heard with regards to relationships. Though I would edit to say 'keep your friends' because I just don't have more than one or two close girl friends and I need my male friends too.

Sounds like an ideal relationship, and I'm frightfully envious of anyone who has that with their spouse/SO.

Sometimes we want so much attention from one single person when they themselves..aren’t necessarily aware of how much you rely on their company.

It's also possible that the person we're expecting the attention from just isn't capable of giving it to us. Doesn't make them a bad person for not being able to do it, doesn't make you a bad person for desiring it. But it does make you incompatible at a very core level. Can communication and work 'fix' that? Somehow, I seriously doubt it.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I know, Ruby. Just wanted to throw my two cents in...

 

[Rubyfruit]

Dammit DCL, you changed your post. I wanted to ask for a picture of you in your jock.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I don't use a jock, actually.

I use duct tape.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Doesn't that hurt? You know, when you take it off?