Men - Turn your fertility off and on

[Emerson40]

Switch, about the size of a gummy bear, implanted in scrotum allows men to take control of contraception.

From vasectomies to the male contraceptive pill, there have been many attempts to shift the burden of birth control burden onto men.
Now one German entrepreneur believes he has the solution - a 'switch' to stop sperm from reaching the penis.
The valve - which is implanted internally - is designed to divert the flow of sperm back to the man's testicles, making him temporarily infertile.
If he later decides he wants a wants to become a father, he simply locates the implant in his scrotum and flicks the switch back, allowing sperm to be ejaculated.

http://56.media.tumblr.com/afb8be738ee933e1b3c5958251d44213/tumblr_o0m2dn2uco1urexxpo1_500.png


DESCRIPTIVE VIDEO

SOURCE


I don't see how implanting these would be less invasive that a vasectomy.
Would certainly make reversing one easier, but would that be worth having to explain why your balls are making the security wands 'chirp' at the airport, and the subsequent cavity searches?

 

[RoryN]

Lol, no.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'll just say, my vasectomy hurt like a motherfucker. I don't want some damned switch in my junk.

 

[phrodeau]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/77/61/1c77613c391c10189d0a4d6a42584eb4.jpg

 

[spacekowboy]

Just what I need. A toggle switch for my Johnson.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Lol, no.

Shoulda waited...eunuch.

 

[Aquagal]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/77/61/1c77613c391c10189d0a4d6a42584eb4.jpg

Haha!

What if you're going at it pretty rough and it switches on?

Whoopsie!

 

[Emerson40]

I'll just say, my vasectomy hurt like a motherfucker. I don't want some damned switch in my junk.

Bag of frozen peas, for the beans.


http://www.hippocampusmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/frozen-peas.jpg

 

[RoryN]

Bag of frozen peas, for the beans.

Yeah, but those don't do anything for the nerve irritation / damage.

Luckily, mine corrected itself after a few weeks.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'll just say, my vasectomy hurt like a motherfucker. I don't want some damned switch in my junk.

I had to have it done twice.

Two months after the first time I'm in the shower and feel something, its the platic tip to a suture that was popping out

Had to go back and have the left side redone, this time he cut, burned and cauterized where the stitch had popped out.

Ugh....

But would have been a bigger ugh to have ended up with another kid.

 

[Emerson40]

I had to have it done twice.

Two months after the first time I'm in the shower and feel something, its the platic tip to a suture that was popping out

Had to go back and have the left side redone, this time he cut, burned and cauterized where the stitch had popped out.

Ugh....

But would have been a bigger ugh to have ended up with another kid.

Ugh is putting it mildly...

If at first you don't succeed, raze and burn it.

It sounds like you had the misfortune of Dr. Nick handling the procedure.


https://40.media.tumblr.com/20ea470e0f6fe43c8903e892a271fdf0/tumblr_n3tvjaY1Nm1s1a2dlo1_500.png

 

[Hypoxia]

This is only the first step, gents. Future versions will be much better.

Next: replacing a bit of the vas deferens with a flash-electric mesh to broil sperm as they exit.

After that: a small teleporter assembly that will beam sperm to any desired locale, like inside a remote mouth, vagina, anus, armpit, nostril, ear, gerbil, whatever.

Just imagine what that'll do for the teledildonics industry! Better living through technology.

 

[pink]

Yeah, but those don't do anything for the nerve irritation / damage.

Luckily, mine corrected itself after a few weeks.

Try having a c-section, it took years for the feeling to come back in my lower tummy.

 

[Jennifer]

Wow. But I would never trust a man to be in control of my reproductive system. Most of them can't be trusted to not pee on the seat.

 

[Liar]

I never found manual handling of my reproductive system all that difficult.

If you can't control where you jizz, maybe random vaginas aren't for you.

 

[Emerson40]

This is only the first step, gents. Future versions will be much better.

Next: replacing a bit of the vas deferens with a flash-electric mesh to broil sperm as they exit.

After that: a small teleporter assembly that will beam sperm to any desired locale, like inside a remote mouth, vagina, anus, armpit, nostril, ear, gerbil, whatever.

Just imagine what that'll do for the teledildonics industry! Better living through technology.

Uuuunnnggghhh!

Beaming unsolicited loads, direct to a screen near you.


http://40.media.tumblr.com/729b3e77a3284acde38ce3ea9d85f3fa/tumblr_nin28bldNj1t4rq26o1_400.png



Perhaps a better advance in the implant's technology, before teleporting spunk across space and time, would be to replace the switch with some sort of wireless remote. Think of all the nuts that would no longer be accidently squeezed, mistaken for the sperm-switch.

Just point the fob at the ballsack and click. *Chirp*, spermies in lock-down. *Chirp-chirp*, ready to procreate.

 

[Liar]

Uuuunnnggghhh!

Beaming unsolicited loads, direct to a screen near you.


http://40.media.tumblr.com/729b3e77a3284acde38ce3ea9d85f3fa/tumblr_nin28bldNj1t4rq26o1_400.png



Perhaps a better advance in the implant's technology, before teleporting spunk across space and time, would be to replace the switch with some sort of wireless remote. Think of all the nuts that would no longer be accidently squeezed, mistaken for the sperm-switch.

Just point the fob at the ballsack and click. *Chirp*, spermies in lock-down. *Chirp-chirp*, ready to procreate.

Will there be an app? It's the era of the Internet of Things after all.

 

[Emerson40]

Will there be an app? It's the era of the Internet of Things after all.

Angry Sperms?

https://amomentofmedia.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/enhanced-buzz-wide-1745-1379248922-15.jpg?w=300&h=209

 

[Hypoxia]

Angry Sperms?

Sperm-B-Gone, the Android app. IOS version is iFuktUp. (or 'eFuktUp for blaming 'im.)

Yes, the great fun comes from the certainty of hacking such systems. Who knows where your sperm will lodge, fellas?

 

[Emerson40]

Sperm-B-Gone, the Android app. IOS version is iFuktUp. (or 'eFuktUp for blaming 'im.)

Yes, the great fun comes from the certainty of hacking such systems. Who knows where your sperm will lodge, fellas?

The perfect gift for your lover, when his pull-out game is weak.


http://storeimages.apple.com/5717/store.apple.com/Catalog/Australia/Images/gifting/itunescard-20.gif

 

[Not Normal]

Freaking ridiculous. First off, it would probably be awkward and possibly quite uncomfortable. Then we'd have to consider how to know where the switch was, and/or if it were accidentally switched during sexual or other activity.

Either decide to permanently sterilize with a vasectomy, or use condoms if you want/need the yes/no option.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I had to have it done twice.

Two months after the first time I'm in the shower and feel something, its the platic tip to a suture that was popping out

Had to go back and have the left side redone, this time he cut, burned and cauterized where the stitch had popped out.

Ugh....

But would have been a bigger ugh to have ended up with another kid.

Brutal. I paid 20x the normal cost to be put under during the procedure. It was money well spent. The doc didn't want to, but i insisted until he gave in. I told him I'd pass right out and I wasn't interesting in passing out whilst he had a scalpel to my donger.

 

[Noor]

Try having a c-section, it took years for the feeling to come back in my lower tummy.

It's been 5.5 yrs since my surgery and I still can't control my lower abs enough to do stomach rolls

 

[Liar]

Freaking ridiculous. First off, it would probably be awkward and possibly quite uncomfortable. Then we'd have to consider how to know where the switch was, and/or if it were accidentally switched during sexual or other activity.

Either decide to permanently sterilize with a vasectomy, or use condoms if you want/need the yes/no option.

Good point. Imagine having to double check every time you scratch your balls.

 

[Monkey_Face]

I never found manual handling of my reproductive system all that difficult.

If you can't control where you jizz, maybe random vaginas aren't for you.

I challenge this logic.

If you can't control where you jizz, isn't a random vagina simply a function of proximity and time?

I'm pretty sure this is why the human race still exists.