SimonDoom
Kink Lord
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2015
- Posts
- 17,884
I am not a Minnesotan, but I know Minnesotans, and I have been to Minnesota, and I thought I would offer, as well as solicit, from others with familiarity on the subject, some advice on how to write women from Minnesota.
1. First, understatement is the key. Strong opinions are frowned upon. A California mom, confronted with an offer by her son to get down and dirty, might say something like "Totally awesome, I'm down with it!" A Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "You bet," "Oh sure," or "Whatever." A mom from somewhere else might express disapproval by saying, "You want me to fucking do what?" while a Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "That's different."
2. To get the accent right, imagine a Canadian woman trying to sound like a Norwegian without much success, and you'll be close.
3. Minnesota women like sweaters (out of necessity), so if women in sweaters aren't sexy to you, maybe your erotic story should be located south of the Mason-Dixon line.
4. Food is very important. People get together all the time, and they always bring food in big glass or ceramic dishes. It must be bland. Spice is a big no-no. Hot dishes usually contain cream of mushroom soup. Cold dishes have lime jello and baby marshmallows. Pie is a big deal. If you are traveling with a Minnesota woman from one town to another, be prepared to stop often along the way to order pie. Do not ever say, "I'm not really hungry" when a proposal to have pie is offered. This is incomprehensible to your Minnesotan host, and it violates rule number 1 against strong opinions.
5. Minnesota women are outdoorsy, but not so much in a "thong bikini on a jet ski" kind of way as in an "ice fishing in Gortex in a hut on a frozen lake" kind of way. So, if you can make that sexy, good for you.
6. Not all of your women characters have to act and talk and look like characters from the movie Fargo (a city, by the way, which is not in Minnesota, but in North Dakota, an adjacent state which Minnesotans look down upon as bland and boring), but you can't really go wrong if they do.
1. First, understatement is the key. Strong opinions are frowned upon. A California mom, confronted with an offer by her son to get down and dirty, might say something like "Totally awesome, I'm down with it!" A Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "You bet," "Oh sure," or "Whatever." A mom from somewhere else might express disapproval by saying, "You want me to fucking do what?" while a Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "That's different."
2. To get the accent right, imagine a Canadian woman trying to sound like a Norwegian without much success, and you'll be close.
3. Minnesota women like sweaters (out of necessity), so if women in sweaters aren't sexy to you, maybe your erotic story should be located south of the Mason-Dixon line.
4. Food is very important. People get together all the time, and they always bring food in big glass or ceramic dishes. It must be bland. Spice is a big no-no. Hot dishes usually contain cream of mushroom soup. Cold dishes have lime jello and baby marshmallows. Pie is a big deal. If you are traveling with a Minnesota woman from one town to another, be prepared to stop often along the way to order pie. Do not ever say, "I'm not really hungry" when a proposal to have pie is offered. This is incomprehensible to your Minnesotan host, and it violates rule number 1 against strong opinions.
5. Minnesota women are outdoorsy, but not so much in a "thong bikini on a jet ski" kind of way as in an "ice fishing in Gortex in a hut on a frozen lake" kind of way. So, if you can make that sexy, good for you.
6. Not all of your women characters have to act and talk and look like characters from the movie Fargo (a city, by the way, which is not in Minnesota, but in North Dakota, an adjacent state which Minnesotans look down upon as bland and boring), but you can't really go wrong if they do.