Men & Romance

[MrRandyWatson]

I don't care for artificial romance. I care for deep, stimulating conversation over anything - a nice meal, a book one of us has been reading, a long car ride, whatever it may be. I also care for the times when I take care of her when she needs it.

Basically, I prefer to go off-script. Big, grandiose gestures of romance - even the flowers, candles, and Facebook-worthy moments - are utter bullshit to me. The good stuff just kind of happens on its own.

As for crying...put it to you this way. My mother-in-law died last March, and I was closer to her than anyone but my wife. She was more of a mom to me than my own bitch of a mother could dream of being. Was I sad? Yes. Did I cry? During the week of her death and funeral, I used a grand total of one tissue - and it was to blow my nose. I just. Do. Not. Cry. Ever.

 

[sixfeetundernea]

Would anyone be willing to answer a question about a long term long distance sex partner?

Wow, I am so naive.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Would anyone be willing to answer a question about a long term long distance sex partner?

Wow, I am so naive.

I'll try. I'll be on here for a little while, so if you care to, feel free ...

 

[RedStarFic]

Romance? Is that when you take your socks off before getting into bed?

 

[ReadingExcitesMe]

I'm hoping my next husband is romantic.

Some of my male friends are very romantic and their women don't appreciate it. Makes me so jealous!

Men can definitely be romantic! I look forward to the responses from the fellas (if there are any lol)

 

[xLizx]

Some men can be very romantic. At least the few ones I have known. It is nice when he just wants to cuddle or hold hands and nothing else is espected. (Hi J.R.)

 

[sixfeetundernea]

How often do men like this?

 

[snoopydaddy59]

Some men can be very romantic. At least the few ones I have known. It is nice when he just wants to cuddle or hold hands and nothing else is espected. (Hi J.R.)

I find this absolutely essential to build a relationship! I adore holding my Babygirls hand and to cuddle with her, to allow her to feel loved and more importantly, cared for...... Sometimes this will lead to sex, but not always, and that's okay!! It's the time spent with her that matters most!!!!

 

[Kitschshaman]

How often do men like this?

Depends on the man, whether he's a sports fiend or not. But barring that, it's quite often that the man will want to light the candles or go outside and watch the stars and kiss under a full moon or take a midnight swim in the rain or ... sorry, I started dreaming there for a minute. That answer is mostly as often as you feel like it. But the guy has to know you're for real, not just teasing him to see what you can get out of him. Once he believes you, the sky's the limit.

 

[Ramone45]

I have a bit of a problem with the link between the act of sex and romance. For me they are related, but there is something of a disconnect. Romance takes place allthe time and it is based upon love and respect. For me it's flowers or doing the dishes. Cooking her a lovely meal or taking her out to a nice restaurant or even a cocktail lounge for drinks. Romance is conversation and being interested in her thoughts and feelings and expressing gratitude for the amazing things she has brought into my life.
But, when we have sex, most of the time it is pretty raw and passionate;not what I would call romantic. My wife and I seem to be on the same page with this. We'll be having a lovely dinner in a nice restaurant and she'll excuse herself. She'll come back and discretely slip my her panties under the table. The sex will be pornstar stuff. She is an enthusiastic cocksucker. I'll eat her out under her skirt. Our clothes end up in a pile in the living room. There'll be dirty talking...etc.. The next morning, I'll be up first to make her coffee. She'll ask be how I feel, and I'll tell her like I got kicked in the balls by a donkey. She'll laugh and we'll generally get on with our day.
When we see those Cialis commercials we talk about what the couples sex is like. I'll ask her if she thinks the woman swallows or if they are into "69". Then we'll wonder what they're doing in those stupid bathtubs. We have a hard time relating to them because they act so cute-sy and innocent.

 

[Sail45]

You are a lucky man...

... to have a sexy wife like that. The "come hither so I can surrender" aspect of her slipping you her panties in a restaurant must be an incredible turn-on. Good for her!

 

[Ramone45]

... to have a sexy wife like that. The "come hither so I can surrender" aspect of her slipping you her panties in a restaurant must be an incredible turn-on. Good for her!

Thank you. I am fortunate.

 

[SlutAddicted]

So, supposedly men do like romance... so I was wondering what the men here considered romantic, how often you like to do these things and have you ever cried because it was so intense in the moment?

Not sure if this is what you are asking, but these are things I like if a woman wants to be romantic with me.

Be openly affectionate with me in public. I don't mean groping and crude but make it clear that I am more important to you than anyone in the room or their potential judgment.

Dress the way I like to see you, not the way women approve of. I don't mean bimbo slutty or anything skeevy but let me know that you are out to impress me more than be accepted by your girlfriends.

Never let someone interrupt our private time together. I don't mean be discourteous but there will always be people trying to pull a pretty woman's attention. Don't let them unless there is a real, tangible and immediate need to do so. When presented with a choice of sending someone away or insulting me, make the choice. Don't hide behind some self-conscious need to try to please everyone and end up insulting me by default.

Behave like an equal. Value things of substance. If you really like flowers or whatever I am thrilled to have the chance to buy them for you. But once we are established don't continually expect me to shell out hundreds of hard earned dollars for something you don't really value other than as an expression of devotion.

Recognize that I do have insecurities too. I'll try to keep them in hand and you try to be sensitive. My approach to sex is very open-minded and I do not expect exclusivity. But never ever try to justify another man's bad behaviour to me.

Know what kind of food I like. Know what my favourite beer/wine is and have it in your fridge.

Understand that sex isn't just an event for me. I am not a stereotype of an 18 year old walking hard-on. I love spending hours soaking up your sensuality be it over dinner or live theatre or a walk through an art gallery. I am not going to ask for a BJ in front of a Monet, but a touch, a glance the scent of your perfume are amazing experiences. Whether or not we even have sex at the end of the night doesn't matter. What matters is being alluring for me and not treating the sensual encounter as a scheduled sex event with a clear start, middle and end that implies you have something else to get on to.

Know what you want in bed and communicate it to me. Don't just lay back and wait to be impressed.

Take the time to know what I like, not just what you assume or pop culture says I am supposed to like.

Romance is about showing you care and that involves really knowing a person and what they will like. It involves showing mutual respect as much as the willingness to pamper. And it involves creating an environment where your partner can let their guard down and let you into their personal space.

I want to know what you like and how you like to be treated. Whether that is flowers and a candlelight dinner or a six-pack on the beach followed by a good spanking the degree to which it is romantic can only be determined by whether it is what you want. And the same goes for me.

 

[Sail45]

Not sure if this is what you are asking, but these are things I like if a woman wants to be romantic with me.

Be openly affectionate with me in public. I don't mean groping and crude but make it clear that I am more important to you than anyone in the room or their potential judgment.

Dress the way I like to see you, not the way women approve of. I don't mean bimbo slutty or anything skeevy but let me know that you are out to impress me more than be accepted by your girlfriends.

Never let someone interrupt our private time together. I don't mean be discourteous but there will always be people trying to pull a pretty woman's attention. Don't let them unless there is a real, tangible and immediate need to do so. When presented with a choice of sending someone away or insulting me, make the choice. Don't hide behind some self-conscious need to try to please everyone and end up insulting me by default.

Behave like an equal. Value things of substance. If you really like flowers or whatever I am thrilled to have the chance to buy them for you. But once we are established don't continually expect me to shell out hundreds of hard earned dollars for something you don't really value other than as an expression of devotion.

Recognize that I do have insecurities too. I'll try to keep them in hand and you try to be sensitive. My approach to sex is very open-minded and I do not expect exclusivity. But never ever try to justify another man's bad behaviour to me.

Know what kind of food I like. Know what my favourite beer/wine is and have it in your fridge.

Understand that sex isn't just an event for me. I am not a stereotype of an 18 year old walking hard-on. I love spending hours soaking up your sensuality be it over dinner or live theatre or a walk through an art gallery. I am not going to ask for a BJ in front of a Monet, but a touch, a glance the scent of your perfume are amazing experiences. Whether or not we even have sex at the end of the night doesn't matter. What matters is being alluring for me and not treating the sensual encounter as a scheduled sex event with a clear start, middle and end that implies you have something else to get on to.

Know what you want in bed and communicate it to me. Don't just lay back and wait to be impressed.

Take the time to know what I like, not just what you assume or pop culture says I am supposed to like.

Romance is about showing you care and that involves really knowing a person and what they will like. It involves showing mutual respect as much as the willingness to pamper. And it involves creating an environment where your partner can let their guard down and let you into their personal space.

I want to know what you like and how you like to be treated. Whether that is flowers and a candlelight dinner or a six-pack on the beach followed by a good spanking the degree to which it is romantic can only be determined by whether it is what you want. And the same goes for me.

Good post. These should be carved in stone somewhere and remembered as the Ten Commandments of romance. (OK, so there are 11, but who's counting?)

 

[policywank]

Good post. These should be carved in stone somewhere and remembered as the Ten Commandments of romance. (OK, so there are 11, but who's counting?)

Good post indeed. I am consistently surprised by the degree to which women think men don't care for romance or have preferences in how they are treated. I think we tend to only see romance in the sense of how women or pop culture define the word.

The women I know who complain most about men's lack of romantic gestures are the ones who have little or no idea how a man wants to be treated. When they "violate" one of the commandments as you put it, they simply dismiss the concern......usually in a way that would infuriate them if a man did it in relation to one of their sensitivities.

Its amazing what a man will do for you if you treat him the way he wants to be treated instead of complaining about insufficient romance. Next time he sets up flowers and a candle light dinner read this list and stick to it - he will be putty in your hands.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Huh, I guess it was just the female version of romance you were after?

 

[MelnMe]

I'm romantic! Possibly more than Mel is...

 

[TitfuckerMike]

I love romance and seduction. Cuddling clothed, or nude, just holding each other and kissing. No penetration, just hands on each other, cupping her face to look in her eyes and see her wide eyes, the flush in her cheeks. Feeling her heart beat and breath quicken.

Loving the moment of being intimate and enjoying our closeness.

Slow dancing, even when there's no music.

 

[Aglaopheme]

I have a bit of a problem with the link between the act of sex and romance. For me they are related, but there is something of a disconnect. Romance takes place allthe time and it is based upon love and respect. For me it's flowers or doing the dishes. Cooking her a lovely meal or taking her out to a nice restaurant or even a cocktail lounge for drinks. Romance is conversation and being interested in her thoughts and feelings and expressing gratitude for the amazing things she has brought into my life.
But, when we have sex, most of the time it is pretty raw and passionate;not what I would call romantic. My wife and I seem to be on the same page with this. We'll be having a lovely dinner in a nice restaurant and she'll excuse herself. She'll come back and discretely slip my her panties under the table. The sex will be pornstar stuff. She is an enthusiastic cocksucker. I'll eat her out under her skirt. Our clothes end up in a pile in the living room. There'll be dirty talking...etc.. The next morning, I'll be up first to make her coffee. She'll ask be how I feel, and I'll tell her like I got kicked in the balls by a donkey. She'll laugh and we'll generally get on with our day.
When we see those Cialis commercials we talk about what the couples sex is like. I'll ask her if she thinks the woman swallows or if they are into "69". Then we'll wonder what they're doing in those stupid bathtubs. We have a hard time relating to them because they act so cute-sy and innocent.

I'm with you on this one. We're definitely not "romantic" in the bedroom.

It's not really an act of romance if you're just doing it for sex.

Romance, I would hope, would be different for everyone. For me, romance is us laughing together, him making me a cup of coffee every morning, a simple text of during the day.

 

[Crube]

I am a bit of a romantic at heart. My girlfriend and I often just cuddle up at night into each other and caress each other as we fall asleep. Not erotic as such, but just something quite yummy and scrummy.

I don't usually make the big gestures, but the little ones work well. Long walks in country parks, cooking a meal for her, things like that.

Never cried at the intensity of the moment, but sometimes it has struck me with that sudden realization of "wow, this is amazing".

 

[Pink_Milkmaid]

I think that what counts as romantic changes over the course of the relationship--once you have kids, getting to sleep in uninterrupted is the most romantic gesture in the world. And the longer you've been together the more "thoughtful" really counts as romance too--you appreciate small gestures more whereas early on it's all about the grand gestures and big moments.

 

[Kitschshaman]

I think that what counts as romantic changes over the course of the relationship--once you have kids, getting to sleep in uninterrupted is the most romantic gesture in the world. And the longer you've been together the more "thoughtful" really counts as romance too--you appreciate small gestures more whereas early on it's all about the grand gestures and big moments.

Maybe to the gals, but for guys (I'm speaking for myself here, not the couch-potato clicker hog type), we still like the walks in the rain and swimming naked in the moonlight. It's one thing that kids get in a way of that (unavoidable), but it's quite another for the desire for magical moments to disappear. Thoughtful is necessary as a part of the deep and abiding friendship side of a relationship, but romance is necessary too, to know we're still the most important person in our gal's life. A relationship is like a plant and romance is like miracle-gro and water. It's not necessary every day, but if you don't water it every now and again, the plant will inevitably die.

 

[Aglaopheme]

That all depends on the age of the kids.

 

[Kitschshaman]

That all depends on the age of the kids.

What depends on the age of the kids? The availability of time to be romantic in eroticism or the desire to be romantic? More often than not in my experience, the desire to even walk outside and look at the stars and kiss somehow vanishes for the gal very soon (within a few months) of being in a long term relationship. Is it too much to ask for the gal who has declared herself to love me to occasionally want to kiss in the moonlight without me priming the pump with flowers that she usually doesn't acknowledge anyway?

 

[Aglaopheme]

Time for swimming naked in the moonlight, etc. We don't live near any family, had a babysitter on rare occasions. I'm all for it now. I savor every minute we have to ourselves. I've no need for flowers, I've a garden for that. I'll take all of the eroticism I get. Eroticism outside....bonus!