Men Are Happier Because...

[Rumple Foreskin]

This came floating in over the 'net. Thought I'd float it by the AH and see what sort of reactions it generates.

Now please excuse me while I seek out a safe corner.

Rumple Foreskin

==

Men Are Happier Because...


What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The oc casional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one co lor for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

[S-Des]

*snicker* Yup, that about sums it up.

 

[elsol]

Uh...hello!!!

No periods! Having lived with women the last decade, that's a big one!

There's also the lack of the sympathy gene... not all men have this lack, but those of who do... the world is a happier place for us.

 

[3113]

There's also the lack of the sympathy gene... not all men have this lack, but those of who do... the world is a happier place for us.

Until, of course, she murders you in your bed

 

[Liar]

Until, of course, she murders you in your bed

A Happy Life does not specify how long that life is.

 

[Pure]

and...

(it would be fun to write a similar piece concentrating on sex).

here's number 1.

a man can get a helluva lot of satisfaction from 3-5 mins of sex with any object of his fancy who's even half-way cooperative.

 

[Tom Collins]

A Happy Life does not specify how long that life is.

I'd much rather have 50 years of blissful oblivion than 75 years of public toilet seats everytime I forget to piss before leaving the house.

 

[elsol]

(it would be fun to write a similar piece concentrating on sex).

here's number 1.

a man can get a helluva lot of satisfaction from 3-5 mins of sex with any object of his fancy who's even half-way cooperative.

I call bullshit!

With proper preparation and training, no man can touch a woman for pleasure achievable in 3-5 minute span.

 

[CharleyH]

This came floating in over the 'net. Thought I'd float it by the AH and see what sort of reactions it generates.

Now please excuse me while I seek out a safe corner.

Rumple Foreskin

==

Men Are Happier Because...


What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Hell, you can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress: $5000.00. Tux rental: $100.00. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The oc casional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by your friends, but practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one co lor for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

On WOMENS DAY OF ALL DAYS I find this post. Well, the good news is that chicks just laugh at men's little wonders. Fun post Rumples. lol