MEMO FROM GOD

[Make_My_Day]

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: THE BOSS
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it.
Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new grey hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this memo to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

 

[Cheyenne]

I've seen that one before, and it is good. My favorite memos from God are the billboards.

"Don't make me come down there." Fitting for Mother's Day, don't you think?

 

[Make_My_Day]

LMAO!!

I've not seen that one! That's hilarious!!

 

[Make_My_Day]

Up you go!

 

[Todd]

Thank you for this, though if you keep this sort of thing going pwoplw will begin to call you a Todd Sympathizer

 

[Make_My_Day]

**raises eyebrow**
Is that a bad thing?

 

[Todd]

**raises eyebrow**
Is that a bad thing?

purely a judgement call

 

[Mustang Sally]

Thank you for this, though if you keep this sort of thing going pwoplw will begin to call you a Todd Sympathizer

Todd, darling, it's not always about you!

 

[Todd]

Thank you for this, though if you keep this sort of thing going pwoplw will begin to call you a Todd Sympathizer

Todd, darling, it's not always about you!

Yes it is!!!

 

[Never]

To: THE BOSS
Date: TODAY
From: ME
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: PREVIOUS MEMO

While I'm certain you're overworked and underpaid like many these days I find your services to be of poor quality and your 'problem solving' has yet to get me anywhere. While that 'I'll fix your problems on my own time' line might have worked a thousand years ago, I don't have time to wait around for someone else's 'master plan'. I have bills to pay, you know.

Oh - and as for that 'Even if you're miserable someone else is even more miserable' pep talk; that's all well and fine until I realized you were handling the problems of the chemo patient, the paraplegic, the unemployed and those who died long before their time. I don't really blame you for the problems that humankind has inflicted on itself or the problems that nature hands us, so why should I thank you for the 'all the wonderful things'?

I am not God but today I will be handling all of my own problems. Please remember that I do not need your help and consider this my resignation 'boss'.

Nice working with you,
Never.

 

[Weevil]

One day a man was walking down a beach with Christ. He realized that he had been walking this beach his whole life. Looking back, He noticed something odd

"Jesus?" he asked

"Yes?" Jesus replied

"Looking back on my life I notice that for most of my life there are two sets of footprints: Mine and Yours. But during the difficult parts of my life there is only one set. Why, in my time of need, did you abandon me Lord?"

"Well, you see" Jesus replied "That was when I was helping one of the other 6 BILLION PEOPLE in the world, you selfish fuck"

The above is a paraphrased bit from David Cross, who is a hilarious comedian.

 

[Pyper]

I think Never is my kinda gal.

 

[Make_My_Day]

Yeah.. mine too! Love that one. Are you so creative or did it already exist.. Wait! Don't tell me!
It doesn't matter, it's great!

Loved the one from David Cross too!