Meaningful relationships

[elizaloo]

I agree. It has happened to me several times. It is probably the biggest regret of my on-line life to have done that to a very nice woman.
(I have bigger regrets in my real life)

You could always contact her again, unless she’s the type to hold grudges.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

You could always contact her again, unless she’s the type to hold grudges.

Oh, we've reestablished contact, and we exchange messages once in awhile. She's not holding a grudge. But the nature of the relationship has changed. There is no remaining trust and confidence. Basically, she has moved on. Which is really the best reaction. I feel that I am the one who has lost out.

 

[jjxes29]

Hey. Totally get why you’d question this, I’ve questioned this many times myself already in the short time I’ve been here haha.

I think I’m probably a bit too new to give the best advice here but just to add that if you find yourself thinking something is too good to be true, it often is. Trust your instincts

(if only we took our own advice eh? )

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

I think it’s easier than you think and harder. It’s possible to find deep connections, but it takes a lot of wading through people seeking something different.

I think the best thing you can do is be transparent about your needs and boundaries, and don’t feel obliged to invest energy or time or emotion in those that aren’t in line with those needs and desires.

Just want to underline that: my most meaningful connections are with others who have reflected on why they are here and can be quite transparent early on about who they ope to meet. With all due allowance for open-ended getting to know each other and grow from there. Trust is key and transparency helps trust to develop, Most hand-crafted back stories crumble under their own internal contradictions after a while.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Thank you everyone for the advice, a lot to digest!

If you don't mind me asking, how is it going?
Have you decided to take the plunge?

 

[Noor]

I connected with two mature female Lit members at different times. The common ground was wonderful. And we were able to talk about anything. Each connection lasted over a year before fizzling out as happens sometimes.

So it is possible to find connections which are enriching all round. Heading for 3 years on, although I have placed ads, no such connection has arisen again. I put it down to being a 66 year old single man in UK. To the past connections serving a purpose when grieving. To mutual support needs of the other parties. And perhaps other factors of which I am unaware.

I turned to possibly finding connections after previous relationship partner of 7 years died of COVID in Feb 2020. And I would not be here now had I not experienced the connections I developed.

So a fulfilling connection is indeed possible. And I echo the need for smarts, being selective, and vetoing what does not feel "right". And heeding any intuitive alarm bells.

I admit to feeling discouraged given that I seek a holistic connection, the like of which has not happened in three years. Whilst it's possible it strikes me as needle in a haystack.

Perhaps if you posted more and interacted like this on the boards outside of posts looking for women?
Also when I see men looking for younger women, I am not interested.

 

[jayde2318]

If you don't mind me asking, how is it going?
Have you decided to take the plunge?

It’s been…… interesting. I am talking to a number of people who got in touch with me, still difficult to know what to make of it all and I am an over thinker and quite analytical which I do not believe helps matters here

Jayde x

 

[cdstefi]

Hi everyone

I’m new here and find myself wondering about the chat relationships people look for here. Are they as meaningful as they sound? I worry about further heartbreak

I’d be interested in hearing of your experiences, and how you’ve found it here.

Open to chatting with the right person.

Jayde
x

For me, I'm not looking for what anybody would call a committed relationship. I do enjoy chatting and exchanging sexy PMs but I'm not under any illusions it's anything close to a RL relationship (that said I have hooked up in RL with somebody I've chatted to on here, but I'd guess that's pretty uncommon).

It's honestly more of an ego-stroke than anything else if somebody likes a photo or something you've said.

 

[jlightfoot75]

Howdy

I have had a number of relationships on here (or ladies I met here and went on to chat with on other platforms). Some of them have been great and lasted years, others have been pretty short term.

It can be really difficult, especially if you are chatting across timezones and have family commitments. I've been on both sides of being left on read for 48 hours when something came up and you just don't have the time to chat for whatever reason.

The other tough part is finding a platform. I used to use Skype then Kik all the time. But now there about a million apps and not much consistency across them.

Open to chatting too, for what it is worth

 

[jayde2318]

Thanks to everyone who replied. In a nutshell I want some attention when I’ve been starved of it for so long. I’ve messaged most people back but if I’ve missed you please feel free to try again or approach. I’m ready to do this and I’d like to get to know you all more

 

[Utmale48]

Thanks to everyone who replied. In a nutshell I want some attention when I’ve been starved of it for so long. I’ve messaged most people back but if I’ve missed you please feel free to try again or approach. I’m ready to do this and I’d like to get to know you all more

I hope you find some
Connections that you’re looking for. It can be really tough but they are out there. Like you’ve read a few times. Be careful and have fun.

 

[Live4themoments]

I'm by far am no expert but by my experience many chat sites for the most part are for entertainment. This is an opportunity for some to live out their fantasies, to do things they would not try doing real time, which is safe and totally fine. There are also some who are looking for a genuine connection. I have found that those I have met happened over time, where compatibility and interest developed with no pressure or time table. The best connections occurred when I wasn't necessarily looking for one, it happened purely by chance. It's easy to get ghosted online sites thus keep that in the back of your mind and hopefully will minimize the hurt. I do wish you the best of luck though, sit back and enjoy the site and the people here you get to chat with.