Maybe the sickest joke I will hear this year - but terrific all the same

[DannyBoyUK]

A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the man. "You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno... never found the head!"

 

[Zaudika]

 

[Guest]

You crack up some good jokes, Danny... for a programed dummy-bot.

 

[unclej]

two saudis sitting in an open air cafe. one takes out his billfold and shows the other a picture. "this is my oldest son, he is a martyr." he then shows him another picture, "this is my other son, he too is a martyr."

his friend looks at the pictures, sighs and says, "Isn't it amazing how quickly they blow up these days?"

 

[Guest]

That's been done, unclej.

3 for laziness.

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

LMAO

 

[DannyBoyUK]

You as welcome as always CV.

(said he, slowly slowly slowly trying to redeem himself <s>)

 

[unclej]

well, i just heard it yesterday so i'll deduct your three for laziness and add two of my own for being slow.

 

[QuickDuck]

Definately chuckle worthy

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of: "Here I come again... 1,2,3,,,Ugh!" all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first mutters,
"It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?""I couldn't even get on the bed!"

 

[Guest]

Cute.

 

[Secret Kate]

Irish - that one made me laugh!!! Thanks!

 

[IrishWolfhound]

Irish - that one made me laugh!!! Thanks!

Credit to Woman from Lit Chat who sent it to me.

 

[estevie]

2 men walk into a bar.














The 3rd one ducks.


Heh!

 

[Guest]

Quack

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Audience participation joke...

Why did all the women look up to, and adore, Jesus when He was crucified?



Because when they walked up to Him and looked up, they saw He was hung like this (stretch arms out to complete visual).....

 

[Guest]

Yea, I love Kevin Cline(sp)

''Dave''