May I take a moment of your time....to vent?

[Allexus_TN]

I'll make this as brief and painless as possible. Opinions would be great. Let me preface this by saying my SO and I argue over money constantly.

A year ago, I recieved my inheritance. I paid off my computer with a fraction, since it was the kind of thing my grandfather would want me to have. I put the rest in a certificate of deposit. During all of this, I had to argue with my SO that my grandfather's wishes would have been NOT to pay off a very small loan and a couple of hundred on a credit card, but to invest it, and watch it grow. AND that the money was left to me, not to me and spouse. I very nearly lost the money to my SO in all this. I had to struggle to keep it from him, and to honor my grandfather.

Now due to some things going on, I must move the CD to my mother's name. This upsets my SO terribly. What pissed me off so bad, is that he said he thinks my mother will steal the money from me.
My parents do not need this money, and if they did, they would not steal it from me. I can not believe he said this, and am so angry with him I can not see straight. I think he is still upset over not being able to spend the money as he wanted to....

Thoughts??

 

[Tap-Out]

MY Opinion

Stick to your convictions, and let your parents have the money. It was left to you and you should be able to do whatever you want with it. It was your grandfather not his.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Your money, your choices.

Tell him to have one of his relatives die. Then he can call the shots.

 

[Sandia]

In general, if you have financial self-restraint, you're better off paying down debts than investing.

A CD will pay between about 2 and 5 percent. (And you'll have to pay taxes on the interest.)

Your credit card is probably charging you between 12 and 21 percent interest. And the money you save is not taxed.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

In general, if you have financial self-restraint, you're better off paying down debts than investing.

A CD will pay between about 2 and 5 percent. (And you'll have to pay taxes on the interest.)

Your credit card is probably charging you between 12 and 21 percent interest. And the money you save is not taxed.

Fine. Clutter up the board with perfectly reasoned and applicable advice.

 

[Ishmael]

Agree with the above. It's your inheiritance, not his.

You might want to ask why he's so concerned about your money. Is it a matter of trust or control or some other issue?

Ishmael

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: MY Opinion

Stick to your convictions. It was left to you and you should be able to do whatever you want with it.

I have to concur with this. The money was given to you. Not all monies accumulated in a marriage is community property. Especially Inheritance.

 

[dickE]

Time for you to skip, Ali.

Find a secure, grown up man who'll treat you like the adult you are.........and, while you're at it, find a guy who'll fuck you silly like you never had it so far.

But........... that's just my opinion, ya know? "I Hope You Dance"!

 

[Weird Harold]

Now due to some things going on, I must move the CD to my mother's name. This upsets my SO terribly.

Quite aside from the other issues involved, transfering the CD to your mother's name, and (presumably) transfering it back to your name sometime in the future, is going to raise some tax and legal issues you may not want to deal with.

Unlike most of the others here, I wonder why this is such a big issue? Why do you and your SO place such emphasis on "your money" and "my Money?" Or do you have a "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine," sort of attitude about family finances?

 

[ExLimey]

In general, if you have financial self-restraint, you're better off paying down debts than investing.

A CD will pay between about 2 and 5 percent. (And you'll have to pay taxes on the interest.)

Your credit card is probably charging you between 12 and 21 percent interest. And the money you save is not taxed.

This is reasoned thinking but not always the best idea if you're in it for the long haul.

Here's an example.

Let's say you have 15 years left on your mortgage of $10,000 and you have enough from the inheritance to pay it off or to invest. Over the long haul you'd be better off investing that money than paying off the mortgage and saving/investing the monthly payment. That money will be worth so much more 15 years from now if invested now than the 15 years of payments would be if invested on a monthly basis for the next fifteen years. Even with the ups and downs (okay, maybe more like downs and downs of the market).

A lot of this depends on how much longer you have to retirement and what the rates are on the debt that you have etc etc.

 

[joethebow]

Personally I think your partner is being a shit. It's your money not his. Tell him to clear off and you go find someone who dosen't care about your money.

Several years ago I came into what was, to me, a sizeable amount of money. My wife of over 30 years, my kids and myself had a whale of a time spending it. However that was us and we had all wanted to do the same thing and agreed to do it.

Stick to your guns and trust your parents, you've known them far longer than you have this guy.

 

[Soblue]

Hey girl I had this same exact situation. I inherited a nice bit of money from my grandmother. My husband - now ex - gave me the guilt trip of the century if I didn't turn it over to him. Me, being stupid and under his thumb at the time, gave it to him.

Well fast forward a few years, and guess what? That's right, it's all gone. He spent every goddamm penny of it, and will not repay me, saying, "That's too bad, I don't have it anymore".

So, take my advice. Keep your money.

 

[Allexus_TN]

Agree with the above. It's your inheiritance, not his.

You might want to ask why he's so concerned about your money. Is it a matter of trust or control or some other issue?

Ishmael

I know the answer to this one. Its control. I can't even go to the grocery store without permission, and then I have to explain every little purchase, even down to the tampons.

 

[Allexus_TN]

Time for you to skip, Ali.

Find a secure, grown up man who'll treat you like the adult you are.........and, while you're at it, find a guy who'll fuck you silly like you never had it so far.

But........... that's just my opinion, ya know? "I Hope You Dance"!

Sweetie, you say this because you know me. Hmmm, actually EVERYONE who knows me says the same thing....Get out!!

 

[Allexus_TN]

Quite aside from the other issues involved, transfering the CD to your mother's name, and (presumably) transfering it back to your name sometime in the future, is going to raise some tax and legal issues you may not want to deal with.

Unlike most of the others here, I wonder why this is such a big issue? Why do you and your SO place such emphasis on "your money" and "my Money?" Or do you have a "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine," sort of attitude about family finances?

Transferring the CD to get it out of my name is key right now. It must be done, or I will lose every cent of it. That's a long story to elaborate on here, but it is important to do this before September.

As for the "My money" issue...that isn't the way it normally is. This time, with the inheritance, my SO had every dime mentally spent before the check ever got here, and I later realized he'd been working on it since he found out how much I was getting. It did not matter that the money was left to me, to spend how I chose. My father (it was his father who left me the money) threw a fit over my SO's "delusions" as he called it. It became a larger issue until I pointed out that the will said <insert name here> and NOT <insert name here> and SPOUSE. If he hadn't been trying to spend it for himself, to better himself, then it never would have been an issue.

WH, what are these other tax and legal problems you refer to??

 

[Weird Harold]

WH, what are these other tax and legal problems you refer to??

Tax problems: Inheritances aren't taxable, depending on the amount and previous gifts ARE taxable. If the amount large enough or you've transfered money to and from your mother before -- espcially in the form of something trackable like a CD -- your mother could betaxed on it and you could be taxed onwhat is left when she returns it.

Legal: If there are divorce proceedings in the works, transfering ANY funds to avoid inclusion in a community property settlement might be illegal.

PS: I am neither an accountant nor a lawyer -- seek professional advice for detailed explanations of how YOU might be afected in your jurisdiction and circumstances.

 

[Rambrat]

the balcony...remember the balcony

 

[April]

Your husband sounds like an utter shit. Sorry, but that's what it sounds like.

 

[Allexus_TN]

the balcony...remember the balcony

hehehe

 

[Allexus_TN]

Your husband sounds like an utter shit. Sorry, but that's what it sounds like.

No apology neccesary. It is how it is.

 

[mischeviousmisti]

i know its not my place allexus_tn. why do you put up with his bullshit. no one should be treated the way it sounds like you're being treated on so many levels. all controlling men should be deameaned for a period of time then tortured tilll death. sorry still too early to come up with any colorful descriptions but you get the idea.