SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2004
- Posts
- 28,995
My MAXims and other proverbs, some new, some borrowed, some weird, but still my truths.
1. Men who call women cows are pigs. Women who call men pigs are bitches.
2. If you think that you've got him trained, congratulations, you've robbed him of his humanity, you vile abuser and thief!
3. The moment that a woman tries to train me, she's lost me. I'm not the only man who feels this way.
4. I didn't become a vegetarian because of my health. I did it because I owe Lord Shiva big time. He's really come through for me of late.
5. If he could be jailed for doing it to you, don't do it to him.
6. Part of why I refuse to get divorced is that I can avoid getting remarried. One monkey suit and overpriced cake is enough for this hillbilly.
7. It's a handy way of sorting out wheat from chaff for me, still being married. If she can't share me with a wife, how can I trust her to share me with other lovers?
8. Dating is an exercise of sitting across from a liar and paying them to lie to me. I already have politicians for that.
9. The girl who stood me up, despite her rotten attitude, did me a favor. She didn't waste my money before exposing herself as a horrid person.
10. If I ever married again, it would be to a woman that I met at a gang-bang. That way, I knew that she was a slut going in and she would know that I'm a lecher. While not perfect, that tends to weed out the jealous and prudish ones pretty well.
11. First sign of hypocrisy and double standards, I'm out the door.
12. First sign of bossiness, I'm out the door.
13. Why go crazy with revenge? Sometimes, just leaving them makes them suffer.
14. Vernon Dursley was right about one thing: the best thing about Sunday is no mail on Sunday.
15. I would never force or pressure a woman or man to do anything that she or he doesn't want. That's another perk of avoiding monogamy. I can outsource that stuff.
16. Don't think of it as sharing me. Think of it as outsourcing those things about me that you don't like as much.
17. Just because I'm very sex-positive doesn't make me a deviant or pervert. It makes you a prude that you think so, though.
18. I reject your morality and substitute my own. Mine's better, anyway.
19. I hate this number.
20. An age that sucks. You're old enough to marry, to sign contracts, to incur debt, and to get killed in a war, but too young to drink, gamble, or buy a handgun. Weird ass politicians and their age limits.
1. Men who call women cows are pigs. Women who call men pigs are bitches.
2. If you think that you've got him trained, congratulations, you've robbed him of his humanity, you vile abuser and thief!
3. The moment that a woman tries to train me, she's lost me. I'm not the only man who feels this way.
4. I didn't become a vegetarian because of my health. I did it because I owe Lord Shiva big time. He's really come through for me of late.
5. If he could be jailed for doing it to you, don't do it to him.
6. Part of why I refuse to get divorced is that I can avoid getting remarried. One monkey suit and overpriced cake is enough for this hillbilly.
7. It's a handy way of sorting out wheat from chaff for me, still being married. If she can't share me with a wife, how can I trust her to share me with other lovers?
8. Dating is an exercise of sitting across from a liar and paying them to lie to me. I already have politicians for that.
9. The girl who stood me up, despite her rotten attitude, did me a favor. She didn't waste my money before exposing herself as a horrid person.
10. If I ever married again, it would be to a woman that I met at a gang-bang. That way, I knew that she was a slut going in and she would know that I'm a lecher. While not perfect, that tends to weed out the jealous and prudish ones pretty well.
11. First sign of hypocrisy and double standards, I'm out the door.
12. First sign of bossiness, I'm out the door.
13. Why go crazy with revenge? Sometimes, just leaving them makes them suffer.
14. Vernon Dursley was right about one thing: the best thing about Sunday is no mail on Sunday.
15. I would never force or pressure a woman or man to do anything that she or he doesn't want. That's another perk of avoiding monogamy. I can outsource that stuff.
16. Don't think of it as sharing me. Think of it as outsourcing those things about me that you don't like as much.
17. Just because I'm very sex-positive doesn't make me a deviant or pervert. It makes you a prude that you think so, though.
18. I reject your morality and substitute my own. Mine's better, anyway.
19. I hate this number.
20. An age that sucks. You're old enough to marry, to sign contracts, to incur debt, and to get killed in a war, but too young to drink, gamble, or buy a handgun. Weird ass politicians and their age limits.
