Masturbation/orgasm rut?

[RedThread]

Hmm, not sure if this is exactly the place but I'll give it a shot. This is mostly directed towards ladies but from a scientific side I'd be interested to hear from men as well.

Have you ever found yourself in a sort of orgasm rut? I was talking to a friend last week who expressed her concern that, having been an avid masturbator all her life, she has always had a hard time "getting it right" with boyfriends because she was so used to coming in one particular way.

Sometimes I find that I can only come in certain positions, or that specific exact muscles need to be tensed or relaxed in order for me to orgasm, which means sex can end up being sort of . . . I won't say boring. Maybe predictable. This only happens sometimes, and then I'm out of the 'rut'. Usually good communication is the key.

I read somewhere else that masturbation with vibrators can decrease sensitivity until one can *only* orgasm with one, but I think that might just be an urban legend... the body is immensely capable of many a wondrous feat, in my mind.

Anyway, I told her that every woman's body is different and she might need to work on the relaxing/communicating aspect with her SO, but I am curious to know if it's actually possible to get a sort of "writer's block" of orgasm from masturbating in one particular way for so long. Has anyone had an experience with this?

Claire

 

[NippleMuncher]

Anyway, I told her that every woman's body is different and she might need to work on the relaxing/communicating aspect with her SO, but I am curious to know if it's actually possible to get a sort of "writer's block" of orgasm from masturbating in one particular way for so long. Has anyone had an experience with this?

Claire

As always, good communication between partners is paramount when it comes to bedroom satisfaction. Excessive masturbation may "train" the body to be a certain way, but that is easily reversed by reducing the amount of masturbation as well as finding new ways to stimulate the senses. Since the most erotic part of your body is your brain, you've got to find ways to stimulate and flex it both in and out of the bedroom.

Orgasms can also be "trained", in that you probably think all you have to do is go through the motions and you'll get a release. While this is generally true, did you know you can train yourself to have more intense and satisfying orgasms?

 

[GracefullyYours]

I think there's definitely a learning curve with every new partner, and I'll agree with you that communication is key.

While I'd never call an orgasm "bad" or "boring," I do experience different sensations depending on how I cum. I feel a little different if I cum with his fingers or cock inside me than I do if I'm "empty." Cumming from oral sex is different from cumming from my fingers, and different again from cumming from his cock rubbing my g-spot.

I do understand what you mean by only cumming in certain positions, though in my experience that's been due to necessity rather than being in a "rut." I dated a guy who I was crazy about, but not particularly well-endowed. His size made some of the more unique positions impractical (or impossible), but we enjoyed others. And then, regardless of size, some positions are simply more enjoyable for my body....I'm not going to knock them or tire of them when I'm cumming so hard I see stars.

 

[amofiga]

Perhaps I'm a tad insensitive to why it has to be a problem if a woman can only cum a certain way if indeed her partner is willing to help her with this "way" and compromise a bit. I have always been a man who relishes making women cum orally. I like the feeling of being up close and personal when she cums. I once had a lady friend who could only cum with a vibrator. So, sometimes I we would have regular intercourse and I'd cum in her or she would get me off orally. Then I'd go down on her while she also used the vibrator. She got off and I also got to enjoy being close to the action.

My wife seems to have to be on her side to cum. Try as she might, she can't cum while being on her back. She can work up to it on her back but when she gets right on the edge, she has to get on her side. I can work with her on that.

I read a lot about all the angst people seem to have about wanting to cum or be made to cum or make someone cum in a certain way. Sometimes, it takes meeting at some middle ground.

 

[marianthelibrarian]

As an avid masturbator myself, what I will say is that if you can stand not to do it for a couple of days, it becomes much easier to orgasm faster... I think this would be the case with digits or with a vibrator. I don't think that it is permanent loss of sensitivity, just temporary.

It's interesting to hear this called "writer's block," haha... that seems like a fair description actually. I won't lie, it is true that there are only a few positions that push me over the edge, but I think you can vary the stuff that happens before that to keep it spicy. Like, for me at the end I need to be pounded hard, usually on my back with my knees up, but before that, can try a variety of things and it will arouse me, especially if they are things that arouse my partner particularly.

 

[RedThread]

I will definitely share that suggestion--- don't masturbate for a few days--- with my friend. It's a great idea, and such an obvious one. (Ha ha, the trick is whether willpower will overcome a habit!) I think her concern was basically that she's so used to orgasming a certain way that she can't come at all during actual sex with someone else, but rather only through self-stimulation with nobody else involved. I still think communication is the best solution. Either that, or I need to show her boyfriend the "Try this and report back" thread, LOL.

Claire

 

[lemmesee]

Hmm, not sure if this is exactly the place but I'll give it a shot. This is mostly directed towards ladies but from a scientific side I'd be interested to hear from men as well.

Have you ever found yourself in a sort of orgasm rut? I was talking to a friend last week who expressed her concern that, having been an avid masturbator all her life, she has always had a hard time "getting it right" with boyfriends because she was so used to coming in one particular way.

Sometimes I find that I can only come in certain positions, or that specific exact muscles need to be tensed or relaxed in order for me to orgasm, which means sex can end up being sort of . . . I won't say boring. Maybe predictable. This only happens sometimes, and then I'm out of the 'rut'. Usually good communication is the key.

I read somewhere else that masturbation with vibrators can decrease sensitivity until one can *only* orgasm with one, but I think that might just be an urban legend... the body is immensely capable of many a wondrous feat, in my mind.

Anyway, I told her that every woman's body is different and she might need to work on the relaxing/communicating aspect with her SO, but I am curious to know if it's actually possible to get a sort of "writer's block" of orgasm from masturbating in one particular way for so long. Has anyone had an experience with this?

Claire

I'm a man, but I'm personally aware of what you're talking about....I've been primarily a masturbator since youth....and the problem with that, of course, is that I know very well what I like best, and how to do it....and what gives me the greatest orgasms....and for much of my life my interactive sex has been (much) less satisfying than what I can do for myself....in fact, that's the main reason professional counselors advise against letting masturbation become a primary sexual outlet (read addiction)....because it can mess up other sexual relationships....

 

[NippleMuncher]

The key is to change things up, enter a competition or two ...
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82128239/