Masturbation: Complementary or Compensatory?

[MatthewVett]

Do you consider masturbation to be a complementary activity to your sex life, or compensatory?

If you view it as complementary, it would be an activity you perform both when you have a sexual partner and when you do not. It’s part of your sex life either way. This is personally how I view it. Even when I have a sexual partner, I still enjoy masturbating and giving myself orgasms. It’s nothing against the quality of orgasms given to me, but sometimes I just like to masturbate. Even if I had a harem, I’d probably still masturbate.

If you view it as compensatory, you use masturbation to make up for the lack of a sexual partner, and when you have one, you largely cease masturbating. It’s more of a second-best, ersatz source of orgasms, rather than something you would do for its own sake.

So, which one of these positions better describes your attitude towards masturbation?

I also have a poll on my own blog where I'm collecting answers to, if you'd be willing to vote there, too: https://matthewvett.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/masturbation-complementary-or-compensatory/

 

[SweetLittleFox]

most certainly complimentary. My husband encourages that I do as well, and he greatly enjoys watching me. And I him. sometimes we watch porn together and just masturbate, watching each other as well as the video.

 

[tonguedancer]

There are things you might want to do or thoughts you might feel comfortable having while masturbating that you might feel strange about if you're having sex with a girlfriend of wife. Masturbation could help give you at least the "fantasy outlet" for those things your wife or SO won't do for real, if you get my drift. In that way, though, that sort of masturbation might be considered compensatory for the things lacking in one's "real" sex life. I knew one woman whose go to masturbation fantasy was gang bang and orgy, things her husband would never accept and let her experience. She used multiple dildos to "compensate" I suppose.

 

[xjasminex]

Hi Matt *waves*

By your definitions I should say complimentary, but I stand by my compensatory vote. While I do have a partner and masturbate anyway, it's mostly because he's not immediately available to do things for me. But if he was available/ready always, somehow, I would masturbate by myself anyway probably - but at a tiny proportion to sex with him, in comparison.

Masturbation is good but having sex with a partner, in all manners, is better (for me).

Edited to comment on previous post: I understand that masturbation can provide an outlet for things unshared with a partner, if I did keep fantasies from him then I'd count that activity as being separate from my sex life with him, and it'd be complimentary. But I don't, I share pretty much all my fantasies and consider my masturbation as an aspect of our shared sex life, an aspect I enjoy less than anything when with him.

Hoe does the idea of masturbation being something either shared or kept to oneself play into the original question?

 

[johnnyfm78]

Definitely complimentary. I'm in a great marriage with a very sexual woman who likes to get fucked 2-3 times a week, on average. Nevertheless, I jerk off pretty much every day, sometimes after sex and she's fallen asleep. They're different kinds of sensations, and I wouldn't want to give either up!

 

[NYWings]

I would have to say that both would apply for me especially if we consider this over my lifetime.

As a young man it was my only form of actual relief for the most part and I did enjoy this fun with my buddies who were in the same boat.
When I started having regular girlfriends who enjoyed sex it was complimentary and I would often enjoy a good wank remembering the fun sex I enjoyed.

My wife enjoyed fun and experimentation so it was very much a part of our sex life together...

As I got older I was lucky to find some close friends who didn't feel comfortable with having sex with another partner BUT thoroughly enjoyed fun mutual mast sessions together.

 

[bluestate]

If I have a partner that I'm with enough of the time, I generally won't masturbate. If I don't however, it's pretty compulsory.

 

[IceyBlue]

I'm a lecherous ole' fella, it's definitely compensatory.

There's just never enough when it comes to sex. I've been known to stroke while watching the girls even after having gotten off several times already.

In fact it often leads to a follow-up session when they spot me stroking.

 

[VladHarkonnen]

Both.

 

[Jessicasc1970]

Complementary, my husband satisfies me,. However, there are time when getting myself off is fun, and needed.

 

[MatthewVett]

By your definitions I should say complimentary, but I stand by my compensatory vote. While I do have a partner and masturbate anyway, it's mostly because he's not immediately available to do things for me. But if he was available/ready always, somehow, I would masturbate by myself anyway probably - but at a tiny proportion to sex with him, in comparison.

Masturbation is good but having sex with a partner, in all manners, is better (for me).

Edited to comment on previous post: I understand that masturbation can provide an outlet for things unshared with a partner, if I did keep fantasies from him then I'd count that activity as being separate from my sex life with him, and it'd be complimentary. But I don't, I share pretty much all my fantasies and consider my masturbation as an aspect of our shared sex life, an aspect I enjoy less than anything when with him.

Hoe does the idea of masturbation being something either shared or kept to oneself play into the original question?

Hey Jasmine! Well, I think you can share masturbation and still have it be either. I think the divide is whether you enjoy masturbation as an activity on its own, or whether it's really just a replacement for something better that you don't immediately have.

Like, think about DVDs and laserdiscs. I don't like laserdiscs for laserdiscs. If I'm watching a movie on a laserdisc, it means that I couldn't find a DVD. I would never pick a laserdisc if I had options.

 

[MatthewVett]

Damn, n>1000 already on the main poll. The general distribution is 4/5s consider it complementary, 1/5 compensatory, and about 2% don't masturbate. Allegedly.

 

[Ex Princess]

No one tickles my Elmo quite like I do...

 

[satyr82000]

My feelings exactly...I voted for complimentary because much as I love sex with my partner for the whole body/soul package, for raw pleasure, its hard to beat do-it-yourself

 

[BiTodd]

No one tickles my Elmo quite like I do...

me and Elmo go way back.........

 

[Crayons]

No one tickles my Elmo quite like I do...

Nice way to put it.



And same here.

 

[Ex Princess]

I am all for self discovery through masturbation.

 

[maggiemarie]

I am all for self discovery through masturbation.

Have to know what you like, and that is the best way to find out.

Its also great fun

 

[Ex Princess]

Have to know what you like, and that is the best way to find out.

Its also great fun

Although it is fun helping Maggie masturbate too...

 

[maggiemarie]

Although it is fun helping Maggie masturbate too...

I do like it when someone lends a hand (or other body part ) lol!

 

[Ex Princess]

I do like it when someone lends a hand (or other body part ) lol!

I can touch you while you touch me

 

[dearc]

Compensatory. In a sexless marriage and have been for years.

 

[maggiemarie]

I can touch you while you touch me

You always have the best ideas

 

[Sciwi]

complimentary ... I do love to edge and make the orgasm as strong as possible

 

[PhxPlay4n6]

Complementary, my wife and I both use it as an extension of our vivid sexuality.