G
Guest
Guest
I'm a guy that is getting bored with jerking off the same way. Sex is a good substitue but you can't have sex every time the urge strikes, so I need some new ways to jerk off
Humm, if you can't figure this one out for yourself, what initiative will you show when confronted by a woman's body?
no, that wasn't kind. Sorry.
new ways to jerk off?
Been doing it 30 years so I should have a few variations:
try:
the other hand;
back hand,
both hands,
slower,
faster,
creams - handcream or a good lube, close your eyes and it'll feel like someone else's hand...
tie a satin ribbon round the base and below your balls and enjoy the tension,
try something silky or satin to rub against, turn the shower up hot on your dick, or your balls and get your hands soapy
try a finger in your arse ...
enough?
[This message has been edited by golden (edited 01-26-2000).]
no, that wasn't kind. Sorry.
new ways to jerk off?
Been doing it 30 years so I should have a few variations:
try:
the other hand;
back hand,
both hands,
slower,
faster,
creams - handcream or a good lube, close your eyes and it'll feel like someone else's hand...
tie a satin ribbon round the base and below your balls and enjoy the tension,
try something silky or satin to rub against, turn the shower up hot on your dick, or your balls and get your hands soapy
try a finger in your arse ...
enough?
[This message has been edited by golden (edited 01-26-2000).]
PHANTOM5875
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 2, 1999
- Posts
- 614
Hi T DOGG, you didn't mention whether or not you fantasize about anyone when you masturbate. I would suggest that if you don't or just need a change of venue, you might want to fantasize about some of the fantastic females here on the Literotica site. Maybe that will rev up your motors! Not that I,uh, ever do that of course!
Good Luck!
PHANTOM
Good Luck!
PHANTOM
Xander
Rekindled
- Joined
- Dec 20, 1999
- Posts
- 17,089
Heard this one from another of my sex depraved collegues:
Find an old radiator.
Turn the heat to max.
Take two pierces of liver and shove them into the same rille.
Wait five minutes.
Bang away on raditor. (Over doing causes, tremendeous plumber bill)
No seriously. It sounds like Golden has some pretty good suggestions there.
Hell, I'm gonna try some of them.
Find an old radiator.
Turn the heat to max.
Take two pierces of liver and shove them into the same rille.
Wait five minutes.
Bang away on raditor. (Over doing causes, tremendeous plumber bill)
No seriously. It sounds like Golden has some pretty good suggestions there.
Hell, I'm gonna try some of them.
Dixon Carter Lee
Headliner
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 48,682
Remember those fake Penthouse Forum letters you read at 14? Two I'll never forget: One from a guy who got off by sticking his cock through an old 45, and the other from a man who would sprinkle fish food in his aquarium, place his balls in the water, and, well, you get the idea...
G
Guest
Guest
I'm remembering reading this suggestion on a site that I have now forgotten. Haven't tried it myself but it is thought-provoking.
Basically what you have to do is make the your best hand fall asleep, just by sitting on it usually. By making it fall asleep, you'll lose all feeling in that hand. And when you start masturbating, it'll feel like someone is doing it for you.
Basically what you have to do is make the your best hand fall asleep, just by sitting on it usually. By making it fall asleep, you'll lose all feeling in that hand. And when you start masturbating, it'll feel like someone is doing it for you.
All this talk about how much guys like to jerk off really got me thinking. I simply didn't understand why they would rather shoot all over their hand, their beer can and their copy of "Caddyshack" rather than shoot in someone else. I consulted my physician who told me masturbation by men is motivation to avoid sex with women while masturbation by women is motivation to have sex with men. Makes sense to me. Well, here's actually what the doctor said in response to my question:
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Then I became curious about numerous other related subects and asked the pussy doctor more questions (Hey, it was my dime) ...
Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?
A: Whistle through its pecker.
Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They are intended for children, but the men usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make man before woman?
A: He wanted a rough draft before he made the final copy.
Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.
Then I became curious about numerous other related subects and asked the pussy doctor more questions (Hey, it was my dime) ...
Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?
A: Whistle through its pecker.
Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time.
Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They are intended for children, but the men usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did God make man before woman?
A: He wanted a rough draft before he made the final copy.
