masturbating question for the guys...

[shescurious]

First off I know it isn't a GLBT thing but I am comfortable here so I ask you guys...

My son is nine and he has discovered masturbation. That really doesn't faze me. But he does it constantly, really constantly. He always has his pants down. We will be sitting watching a movie, he gets a blanket and starts to play with himself under it. He does the same thing at my mothers house. I have told him it is ok and normal but he needs to do it in private many times. I have actually had to yell at him about it.

I just really am wondering is it normal at nine to do it ALL the time?

I know when a lot of guys are older they do it all the time but at nine...Am I overreacting here?

Probably.

 

[chromefreak]

I was about 11 when I discovered it. Did it all the time. Was much more discreet about the when & where, but at the time it wasn't socially acceptable to talk about jerking off like it is these days, unless it was phrased in the form of a put-down/accusation.

But, yes, plenty of us do it/did it "All the time" It is kinda strange that he's doing it right in front of you. I just disappeared to my room where I had a few Playboys hidden.

 

[oh21]

I cannot say that I recall ever being that much of an exhibitionist myself. I usually hid out in my room.

Of course my parents were the staunch christain "God will smote you down with lightning if you play with yourself" type... so I was much more inclined to hide under the blankets where god or anyone else couldn't see.

 

[sdedalus]

Yea I started around 7 years old. Obviously nothing much happened, but I used to rub agains the bed more than anything. I always did it in private though, when no one was home or with my door closed. Not sure if doing it all the time will change, I haven't stopped much since I started. But you're definetly not out of line explaining to him that it is a private thing.

 

[Queersetti]

If you bought him a Play Station, he'd play with it every chance he got, and masturbating is way more fun than a Play Station.

 

[shescurious]

If you bought him a Play Station, he'd play with it every chance he got, and masturbating is way more fun than a Play Station.

LMAO...now there is a way to look at it.

Thanks everyone else for your replies. I guess it is "normal" if you will.

 

[Cigan]

I think your reaction is pretty normal. I do think telling him it's ok but to do it in private is appropriate. I am all for exhibitionism, but being private at the age of 9 is probably best. I'd say just keep reminding him to not play with himself when he is around other people, and try to explain why to him. Explain why it's private and that it would make other people uncomfortable, which is the real issue, as opposed to his comfort level. I think the big thing is to not make him ashamed of his body, but to teach him to repect other people's limits. Which is hard when you're 9.

 

[simonedb27]

i am a female so you might want to take what i say with a grain of salt. while i did not discover the wonders of self-pleasure at such an early age, i did masterbate in public (i.e. in the living room under a blanket while watching a movie, etc.). i wouldn't worry about it too much, but just let him know that it might be more appropriate to be discreet because not everyone is as understanding.

 

[sdedalus]

i am a female so you might want to take what i say with a grain of salt. while i did not discover the wonders of self-pleasure at such an early age, i did masterbate in public (i.e. in the living room under a blanket while watching a movie, etc.). i wouldn't worry about it too much, but just let him know that it might be more appropriate to be discreet because not everyone is as understanding.

It's a little easier for a female to hide, you have to admit.

 

[Gods_Favorite]

I didn't start masturbating until I was 12, kids are hitting pueberty earlier these days I guess.

 

[webber1998]

I didn't start masturbating until 12. I have heard that girls tend to start masturbating earlier. I remember one friend whos 6 year old daughter would like grind herself on stuffed animals and pillows and the like.

 

[sdedalus]

I didn't start masturbating until 12. I have heard that girls tend to start masturbating earlier. I remember one friend whos 6 year old daughter would like grind herself on stuffed animals and pillows and the like.

it's weird to say, but when i started at around 7 1/2, I knew it was a sexual response to the pictures I was looking at. Mostly I just rubbed argainst the ground or against my bed. It wasn't until I was 12-13 that I started using my hand (as well as I can remember) and that was the first time I ejaculated (around that time). I think masterbation is so normal. I used to be afraid of it and hide it, but as you get older it gets a lot more acceptable to talk about. I think it's probably the least sexual taboo thing.

 

[sexylilmissie]

my son...is 5 and he has started i find him playing with it all the time and it didnt matter where he was. i think it was more novelty and it feels neat rather than serious at that age, but i did sit him down and we had a chat

we made the deal that he can do it, but it has to be either in his room or when hes having a bath (the room qualifier was not when he was supposed to be asleep cause he gets so cranky when he doesnt get enough) and this seems to work

my advice would be, dont be to concerned about it, but i would have the same chat with him and arrange a space where neither of you is getting offended/embarassed by it

 

[slider923]

THIS SITE SHOULD HELP YOU

This is a site for parents and teens to help answer some of the questions we have about sex. It talks about masterbation and other subjects we all wonder about.
I hope you find this helpfull.



http://www.allaboutsex.org/index.html

 

[slapshot52]

boys masturbating

I started around nine. Anything would bring it on, a pretty face in an ad, on t.v., an older sexy girl, anything. I would do it in my room or in the tub ect., but private. A toddler may touch himself, not really jerking off, not really knowing why its feeling so good, and when others are around. A young boy will usually do it privately and actually jerk off. At least that was my experience. So good of you to accept his natural interest. My Mother said I would go blind, ha!!! My eye sight is still very good, so Im not going to stop.

 

[Hooper_X]

I was a chronic masturbator as a child, but I can't imagine having pleasured myself in my mom's presence. Of course, I was raised in a different time, but that seems a little odd to me.

 

[MiamiBiBoy]

It think it is quite natural and admittedly it feels great. I would be concerned about where and when he does it. Unfortunetly there are people that may notice this behavior and try to take advantage of a child , scarry but true. My other thought is he knows its get to you when he does it so there could be the possibilty of the attention thing too. I use to do evrything mom told me not to, cause I felt powerful when I could get such strong emotional responses from her (not that I realized at the time why I was doing it).

 

[FastFastr]

A slight breeze will get a young teen or pre-teen horny... and when I was that age I did it all the time too....

First, calmy explain that it is ok to masturbate

Second, explain that he should do it in private, like when he shuts the door when using the bathroom

Third, it is a good time to ask him if HE has any questions. Then answer only what he asks, don't offer more detail then necessary and BE HONEST!

Use real words... penis instead of cock, dick, pee-pee, etc.

Masturbate, not jerk off.

It may be a good time to let him know that stuff that comes out can get someone pregnant by telling him a little bit about pregnancy and safe sex... again - not too much detail.

 

[GNelson]

My Dad caught me going at it. He said "Don't let your Mother catch you" It's no big deal, give him a little time. If he's still doing it, like that, when he gets his drivers licence. Then I'd worry.

 

[shescurious]

Thank you again for all of your advice...

I unfortunately had tech problems shortly after I posted that question so I couldn't properly respond.

 

[m2m]

I don't know why this stuff keeps floating around in my mind but I once read that males have been observed repeatedly touching their penis while still in the womb. Masturbation has been observed at all ages before the connotation of sex is ascribed to it.
Freud thought we got sexual feelings from being thrown into the air and feigning dropping, which is why we liked it so much.

I remember getting sexual feelings from climbing a pole at a very young age, probably 5 or so. I started using my hand shortly after although I couldn't ejaculate I had wonderful feelings. I haven't stopped since.

The advice you gave your son seems logical," It is ok but try to be discreet."

Hey I turned out normal.....

I still don't know why this stuff keeps floating around in my head.